Home Alone

2:35 p.m. Today's project was to take Steve over to Howard and Charlotte's to help Howard trim his trees. The Stevens' have a couple of acres in Woodcrest that require lots of maintenance. On returning home, I felt a bit disoriented, like the kid from the "Home Alone" movie--what was I supposed to do again? Seriously, I'm so used to making sure Steve is situated, from taking his meds, doing his morning Bible study, eating, and starting his tasks for the day, that going about my own business without interruptions felt odd!!

In addition to a fun outing for Steve, who loves gardening, landscaping, and all kinds of tools, the 3 hours gave me a solid block of time to work on my Galatians edits. It is very hard to concentrate when anyone else is in the room. Since I did retire to spend time with Steve and help him to stay occupied and feel useful after losing his ability to work, I had been getting up very early to write in the morning silence. But I would only have about 60-90 minutes to work. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit faithfully opened up my mind each morning with ideas and applications from life and His Word! The verses that the reader needs to look up and write down were all in place, as was the basic commentary. The editor just needed me to expound more fully and make some corrections. Progress has been solid, but slow. In all of that, however, I can clearly see that God will not, and never has, failed me yet, 30 years and counting!

But with a deadline of September 15th to add expositions and anecdotes to each section of the study, I was needing to find a solution that met both of our needs. I thought of all of the work Howard has to do on his property, and the way that Steve enjoys his work mornings trimming trees for my dad over in Redlands, and a mutually beneficial plan for all of us came about, thanks to the inspiration of the Holy Spirit and love in the Body of Christ! God is faithful to meet all of our needs, and is pleased to allow us the fun of being part of helping one another!

Philippians 4:19 says, "My God shall provide all of your need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." And "all" means ALL! Our need was for friendship and fellowship support for Steve; Howard needed some help; and I needed time to be home alone with my computer!

Needs are all around us: Steven needs college funds and a new place to live in Fresno; Steve and I need to meet all of our obligations on drastically reduced income. Dave and Lynnae Williams from Calvary Chapel Moreno Valley need to come up with $250,000 to cover their son Skyler's medical expenses after 1 1/2 months in the hospital with serious digestive issues, with no insurance coverage. Their information and donation website is below, and I'll add it to my Reading List: www.wix.com/medicalupdate/skyler.

Skyler's website has the song "That's What Faith Can Do" playing in the background, and it's a sound reminder that when we find we've hit a wall, God is right there on the other side. After all, didn't Jesus come through the walls of a house to prove to the disciples that He is alive? (Luke 24:36)

Because of Jesus' resurrection, instead of all hope being gone, hope is just beginning!

A normal Sunday afternoon?

5:36 p.m. Today's project was to enjoy a normal Sunday afternoon, just like Steve and I had enjoyed (minus the kids, of course) for decades. Our habit was to run a quick errand after church, like today when we got gas and picked up two 39 cent tacos for 42 cents, using a free coupon, and enjoyed them at home.

I turned on "Spirit," the contemporary Christian music station on DirecTV, checked in on the computer, then went out to the garden to water and harvest the last few vegetables at the end of this summer 's growing season. "To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven," Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 3:1. Soon we will be plowing under compost and dead vines, letting the soil build up with the huge bag of potting soil we have ready, and then we'll plant another winter garden. We did have one major surprise out there, however. I looked at a rogue, out-of-season broccoli plant, and whoa! There was a huge floret right in the center! Steve is enjoying it right now with his dinner.

Part of our Sunday afternoon routine was Heidi helping me clip coupons from the newspaper, which she did from elementary age through college when she came home on weekends. Now that she spends Sundays teaching 5th/6th grade at late service, and has teaching plans to prepare for her own classroom, as well as afternoon outings with her fiance, I'm on my own. No worries--that's the way it should be!

There was another missing element, I realized as I clipped and sorted: NFL football! The season opener was today, and back when the boys were home,there were never any questions asked--the game would be on! If Sean, Kriss, or Heidi hadn't turned on the game, Steven, our defensive tackle, bodybuilder and all-around athlete, would have. Steve joined them on the family room couch for snacks and relaxation. So I turned on thegame, for little more than sentimental reasons. But one Sunday p.m. football game would barely scratch the surface had Steven been here. We used to watch SoCal high school game highlights after coming home from Steven's King High School games--both home and away--until the wee hours. Then college football, my personal favorite, would dominate the tv all day Saturday. Heather could hardly manage to slip a Turner classic movie in between! Listening to the plays, famous names, calls and commentators made me miss Steven less. Our family sports fans come by it naturally--as a high school athlete myself, I never missed a home game, either the Redlands High Terriers or the UCLA Bruins in the 60's and 70's.

My husband lay down on the couch for a nap as I fielded text messages from Steven. He is really struggling as the economy caused his gym clientele to shrink; his rent is due, and there doesn't appear to be a more economical housing choice locally. He is also still piecing together funds for school. As yet another loan fell through, I let him know how hard I had prayed for his dad to stay employed until Steven could graduate from school. But that was not God's timing for the effects of early-onset Alzheimers that keep radiating out in ever-widening circles of sadness for all of us. We seek the Lord first, not as a last resort, but as our best hope in everything!

As the youngest and the last one still in school, Steven has been hit the hardest, because we cannot help him in any but the smallest ways like we helped the older ones.Yet this is the kid who shines with the joy of the Lord at all times, and he trusts that God will give him an answer for every single need he has.

As my "normal" Sunday afternoon turned a bit sorrowful, I remember prisoner Paul's exhortation in Philippians 4:4: "Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, 'Rejoice.' "

Let me continue to pray and rejoice, too!

To create a new family

7:56 p.m. Today's project was to prepare for, set up, gather and finally enjoy Heidi and Pavel's engagement party at Smokey Canyon Bbq.

I realized there was no way I'd have the concentration to work on edits for Galatians, so I went straight to my daily devotions with a sense of purpose pervaded by peace. The scripture portion for today was Luke 17, and my focus became Jesus' description of His Second Coming in verses 22-37.

Verses 26-31 in the New Living Testament read thus:

When the Son of Man returns, it will be like it was in Noah's day. In those days, the people enjoyed banquets and parties and weddings right up to the time Noah entered his boat and the flood came and destroyed them all.

And the world will be as it was in the days of Lot. People went about their daily business--eating and drinking, buying and selling, farming and building--until the morning Lot left Sodom. Then fire and burning sulfur rained down from heaven and destroyed them all. Yes, it will be "business as usual" right up to the day when the Son of Man is revealed.

For some reason, maybe the different translation, I was just fascinated by this passage! Today was just like any other day here in Riverside, other than the two trips I made to CVS to get pictures developed and buy picture frames, plus one trip to Ralphs for Woolite rug foam and frantic housecleaning for the Kruckenberg-Ilie pre-dinner get-together at 4:30. But everybody else was just contentedly going about their business. Knowing the date is 9/11, and many friends on Facebook were posting our whereabouts ten years ago today made the identically beautiful blue sky a bit more eerie, I suppose.

But overall, today could be the day the Son of Man takes His church out of the world and begins the seven years' tribulation and the earth's inexorable march to judgment. Jesus is coming back!

Of course, like many people, our family is involved with buying (daily necessities); selling (Mary Kay); and in pre-wedding festivities, just like the people in the former days of Noah and Lot. The difference is that for our two families and the entire group at the dinner, there is no fear or dread of judgment. That is because we have each made a commitment to Jesus Christ, and live for Him daily. We look expectantly to His coming to take us to heaven whether by death or by Rapture. And because "it is not God's will that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance" (2 Peter 3:9), we witness to anyone God leads us to share with. We don't want anyone to choose eternal death--we want them to choose eternal life!

The Kruckenbergs and the Ilies say, with Joshua (24:15) "As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."

A pretty challenging project

3:21 p.m. Today's project was to create a floral centerpiece for Heidi and Pavel's engagement party tomorrow. The gathering will be intimate, just immediate families and bridal party. The pastor who will be performing their ceremony, Sammy Martinez, and his wife Ivett, will be attending also.

The couple's chosen venue, the Smokey Canyon Bbq restaurant in the Canyon Crest Towne Centre, serves magnificent barbecued entrees, sandwiches, and knockout homemade desserts. The patio that we've reserved only seats 28 at the 7 tables, so the gathering will be cozy. In case of hot weater at 5 p.m., there are enough shade umbrellas for the tables; in case of the kind of cool evenings we've been enjoying, heaters are available. Smokey Canyon has us covered!

Wound up as I naturally am, the need to provide a centerpiece small enough not to overwhelm the bride and groom's table when placed next to an 8x10 portrait, has had me tossing and turning a bit this week! I knew I wanted to incorporate Heidi's colors of fuschia and orange, preferably with her beloved Gerber daisies, and would work in her wedding reception ribbon into whatever the florist created.

I got a referral to my hairdresser's sister-in-law, who has a thriving floral business in Riverside. When I called and described what I wanted--a "modest" arrangement--the price was $55.00. That actually was reasonable considering that she would have had to special order the Gerber daisies. But this is not a week for that level of expenditure. If it weren't for three Mary Kay lipstick sales, Steve and I would have been cutting it close on paying for our two dinners on Saturday! The Lord provides!

Vons at the Plaza had just gotten their fresh flower shipment in when I arrived at noon. I was able to get the main colors I wanted by selecting two bouquets that featured daisies, mums and carnations with pretty foliage and small flowers in complimentary shades for $9.99 each. The square glass bowl, left over from a bouquet Pavel had brought Heidi some time ago, was in my office, and the wired ribbon was in a box in the upstairs guest bedroom that I refer to as the "wedding supply store." It used to be my "Mary Kay store," but is rapidly being overtaken. You won't be able to see the queen bed by next June!

One thing I realized on my way home from the store was that even though I had read my chapter of Luke, posted a verse from Psalm 97 on Facebook, as well as spending two hours writing an exposition and anecdote for chapter three of Galatians, I had forgotten to make my daily journal entry!! I was missing that lovely, quiet time of pouring my heart out to the Lord and receiving His tacit comfort and love in return. No wonder I was jumpy and nervous, even though the Lord was working everything out wonderfully. I realized the truth of 2 Timothy 2:13:

If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself.

After quickly putting the flowers in water and hiding them, helping Steve with his sandwich and eating some chicken, the first opportunity I had I sat down and journalled! One thought occured to me meanwhile: here I was, worrying about my daily morning ritual, when the entire book of Galatians was written to free immature Gentile believers from bondage to outmoded Jewish rituals and observances! God seems to enjoy ironies, doesn't He?

Was I worried about losing either my salvation or my Father's love? Not at all. I just noticed the effect on my peace of mind and normally joyful disposition. Starting the morning right, not only writing about God, but writing to God, makes for a better day, pure and simple!

Finally, it was time to get creative!! I glued the ribbon around the bowl, filled it with clear glass beads, cut the flowers' stems down to about 5 inches, and arranged them in what I hoped would be a pleasingly symmetrical manner. A decorating champ of a girlfriend, Monica, texted me back from my picture message that the arrangement looked great--and she would have given me some honest tips, I'm sure!

The Lord provided once again, meeting all of our needs, even the need for enjoyment of the beauty He created! (And for a quarter of the price!)

Later in the afternoon, I popped over to the restaurant, examined the patio tables, and the small centerpiece will be just the right size! Thank you, Lord!

Puffy Brunch Eggs

3:20 p.m. Today's project was to attend our last Thursday Bible study for 2010 at Debbie Snyder's home. We had studied I Samuel since June 10th, and seen each other and our families through many trials and triumphs with the Lord, and have eaperienced many answers to prayer.

I loved what one gal shared: "Through studying the book of

I Samuel, I feel like I have come out of the wilderness into new life. As we study the lives of the characters, we are coming to know ourselves." For a Bible teacher to hear that is very humbling, and I am grateful to the Lord for the work of the Holy Spirit in my mind and heart, for His gift of studying and teaching, giving Him the glory for the work His Word accomplished in all of our lives this summer!

Especially amazing is the fact that over 60 women were completing the written lessons online each week! Truly, God is creating a thirst for His Word in women around the state and nation.

By popular demand--Malinda Fairbanks' demand--I brought my "Puffy Brunch Eggs" dish that I make for Women's Bible study get togethers and erstwhile Christmas mornings. Here's the recipe, requested for my former Pedley Elementary colleague Andy Elliot:

4 slices white bread, torn up

1 lb. cooked, crumbled sausage or bacon

1 cup cheddar cheese, grated

6 eggs

2 cups milk

1 tsp dry mustard (or a squirt of prepared mustard)

1 tsp salt

Dash white pepper

Place bread pieces in a greased 13 x 9" casserole dish. Spread sausage or bacon over it and cover with cheese. Mix milk, eggs and other ingredients and pour over. Casserole may covered overnight in fridge. Bake uncovered 350 degrees for 35-40 minutes. Serves 6-8.

We ladies "of a certain age" reflected and rejoiced in the season of life we are in. Our children are grown, even if one or more live at home still (or should move back home)! Our lives are stable, despite serious health issues that arise with elderly parents, spouses or ourselves. Financial reversals are taken a bit more in stride because we have seen the Lord's faithfulness over the decades. Psalm 37:25 says, "I was young and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken nor their descendants begging bread." As women of God and women of the Word, we have come to accept what the Lord says about us, not what the world would say. We value an attractive appearance, but admire true beauty of character much more, the kind that Proverbs 31:10 says has worth "far above rubies." We joyfully take up the responsibility of modeling godly character for our precious daughters and daughters-in-law. And we now have grandchildren to love and lead to the Lord, probably the greatest gift of all that comes with age!

And we thank you, Lord, for our salvation, for all of Your promises and their fulfillment in Christ!

With the life expectancy we ladies have should the Lord tarry, new projects and ministries will come forth in our lives as the Lord leads. May we be filled with the Holy Spirit, and open our hearts and minds to hear His leading! For Jesus promised in John 7:38,

He who believes in Me, as the scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.

May we be conduits of the Holy Spirit's living water, to bless and help others in the Name of Jesus!

* More good news! Look for my former colleague Michele Armstrong's new book, Ten Questions God Asked, on my reading list under www.winepress.com

Know when to call

3:36 p.m. Today's project is one I've been putting off for as long as possible,

but Steve's growing confusion, lack of focus and attentiveness have made it clear that the time has come to make arrangements for what you could describe as "companionship care" for him.

I'm looking for twice a week, four-hour shifts with a licensed, bonded and trained caregiver who could be with Steve when I need to go out, keeping him directed and involved in activities he already loves: gardening, working with tools to make small repairs around the house, landscaping, and caring for our dogs. As physically fit as he is, he likes to keep moving and active. I've contacted our long-term care insurance provider, GE Capital, to start a claim, and will be arranging details with the BrightStar Riverside agency soon.

I'll utilize the time for writing, women's ministry and Bible study, not to mention running the household, helping with Heidi's wedding, making business/pension arrangements and paying bills without interruption. Whereas just a month ago, Steve needed just a bit of guidance and reminders to get started on projects that would keep him constructively occupied for most of the day, and even work on self-initiated projects as well, he now stops to ask me what to do next throughout the day, and needs me to repeat it several times. That now includes simple tasks like preparing a sandwich for lunch. I prepare notes and a schedule grid, and give very specific directions (former teacher here!) but his processing is slowing down. We both end up wasting precious time looking for his lost tools (which I have no idea where they would have been stored to begin with), and even hunting for misplaced household items I need.

A person trained in Alzheimers care who can take part in Steve's hobbies would bring him a much-needed sense of prioritizing and order without getting frustrated, like a spouse or adult child would. That's because we remember him as he really is deep down inside, and are having to learn new and unnatural strategies for communication and conversation. Incidentally, the devastating character of the information we give Steve has no effect on whether he can remember it, I've discovered. I found it shocking to be asked several times who we were going to see in the hospital, for example, when the patient is our 4 year-old great-nephew with a cancerous tumor in his stomach, little Cody Ashton.

Most of us tend to remember horrendous information much more readily than every day matters. Not so with Alzheimers! Every concept is up for grabs in the lottery of memorability. I generally have a peace about Steve, and we have a wonderful relationship as husband and wife, even if the leadership role has had to be reversed. We have hobbies we enjoy together, like gardening and fitness walking, travel, using our Disneyland passes and entertaining; we attend church and Bible studies as well. But I also know my hyper, multi-tasking , utterly logical and orderly personality well enough to arrange for help, rather than try to "be Super Woman" and become increasingly irritated with Steve for the mix-ups he causes and has no control over!

Steve needn't lack activities or attention because I have a critically busy two weeks ahead,

and he could definitely use the companionship of a helper who can enjoy his interests with him.

I am simultaneously helping our youngest with his college bills, editing my book on a deadline, arranging Heidi's engagement party details and decorations, and planning to assemble a digital wedding album for Kriss and Marisela's first anniversary gift. Oh yes, I need to assemble a breakfast casserole for our Bible study's last get-together brunch in the morning!

God knows all of these matters and responsibilities, and He knows me better than I know myself!

As David said in Psalm 139: 1-3,

O LORD, You have searched me and known me.

You know my sitting down and my rising up;

You understand my thought afar off.

You comprehend my path and my lying down,

And are acquainted with all my ways.

I would strongly advise anyone who foresees taking on a caregiving role to first honestly assess your strengths and weaknesses--and ascertain at what point you will begin to need help!

GOD is IN THE HOUSE!

3:41 p.m. Today's project was to pray for our great-nephew Cody's surgery on the mass in his stomach at 7:30 this morning. Believers around the country were praying to the Lord.
His father Chad wrote on Facebook, "I am ready to take this journey with my family."
The preliminary report is good: even though the mass is the size of a baseball, it is self-contained, and, if it is cancer, it's a low-grade type, amenable to treatment. Praise You, Lord Jesus!

As of this writing, my nephew told me that Cody's going to be asleep until tonight, most likely, and allowed to wake up on his own. I feel like the blackest part of the dark cloud, the fear of a worst-case scenario, has been lifted. Psalm 50:2b says, "God will shine forth." And he is!

So now we're all waiting for the CHOC pathologists' verdict.

Steve, the kids and I were in the same waiting position about 10 years ago. A tiny, hard lump was found in my lower right breast that had not appeared on my most recent mammogram. The pathologists examining it after a biopsy were suspicious, so surgery was speedily scheduled. Four specialists examined the lump, but didn't know what is was--too solid to be a cyst--but it wasn't cancer!! Praise God!

My results with a miniscule lump found on a mammogram three years later were not as positive. In the same location, a 1 millimeter cancer had developed. A biopsy showed it was cancer. Twelve days later, it was removed, along with surrounding tissue and 22 lymph nodes. Recuperation, including physical therapy to restore the use of my right arm, was hard, very hard. Had God left me? Never, impossible! "I will never leave you nor forsake you," Jesus said, Hebrews 13:5. No caveats, no exceptions. Jesus is always with me!

Seven years later, I remain cancer free, by the grace and will of God. All the credit in this world goes to my primary care doctor, cancer surgeon, oncologist and radiologist, and to my HMO plan as well! But to God goes the ultimate, overall glory and praise.

Our entire family on all sides, is trusting Cody to what God said He would do in Psalm 50:15:

Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you and you shall glorify Me.