Rejoicing with Jada and Bailey

7:36 a.m. Today's project, the very first one, was to let the dogs out for the day.

Normally, this would be Steve's job at 6:30 or 7:00, but I've been sleeping on the living room couch the last two nights to avoid the stairs first thing in the morning. After I get some medicinal relief from my sciatica and finish my devotions, I head upstairs to get ready for my day. Since I'm not far from the garage door, I'm the first to hear Bailey's short, sharp bark at 6:30. I grab my cane and toddle out to open the crates and the back door.

The way our yellow labs yelp excitedly and practically leap out of their crates and tear out to the backyard is a funny sight to hear and behold. Much as they love affection, I can't get a pat in edgewise. It occurred to me yesterday that we humans (school age and above, anyway) only leap out of bed with vigor if there is something very important planned for the day, whether serious or entertaining. But these two girls run to the very same flat green lawn and plain patio they've called home for almost five years with unflagging zeal, racing to see who gets there first.

Granted, Jada and Bailey need a morning pit stop. But they also bark with just as much vigor to come in at exactly 9 p.m. to get locked into their crates. Their competition to see who can get into her crate and onto her bed first makes for some comic relief for the end of the day. They do expect some head rubs and soothing good night wishes after they get in, turn around on their mats and settle in face forward. Then the doors are closed until the next day's cycle begins at 6:30. Their pure acceptance, joy in living, and enjoyment of each moment must be why we keep, feed, house, care for and pick up after our dogs.

The Lord gave me a convicting spiritual lesson from the girls' daily routines that really struck me. Our dogs aren't looking for a better yard one day, nicer crates, or a new walking route with Steve. They enjoy what is, as it is, and find the fun in their daily, (I'd call humdrum) routine. Jada and Bailey love meeting new friends to throw their beat-up ball to them, and an occasional doggie treat, but in 5 years, I've never seen them mope if there's nothing novel in their day. They are happy to follow their "pop" Steve around in the backyard as he tends to his chores; they wait patiently to retrieve the ball he throws to them so they can race one another for the nasty, chewed-up old thing. They are relaxed while staying alert to protect our property, but never anxious. As smart as they are, they can sense changes in Steve, but they greet him with even more loyalty and devotion, and play with him at his new, slower pace. "It's all right, Pop," they seem to communicate to him with their calming companionship.

They trust. That's why they can rejoice in the life that God has given them, as He has given to every living creature. I know that I find myself slipping in and out of trusting mode, although my Jesus has never let me down! I confess that I do not make time to be "in the moment" very often, and become consumed with planning and structuring as many aspects of my life as humanly possible. As people, of course we have goals and dreams that animals don't. But God has given all of His creatures today to live in and enjoy.

The apostle Paul wrote to the church he founded at Philippi from prison in Rome, where he had been sentenced for telling the world about Jesus Christ. He knew severe hardship and trials, and knew what his readers needed to realize: That believers can "live above the present circumstances, rising above adversity not just by surviving, but by thriving in the way of the Lord" (Chuck Smith).

From this epistle of joy, I will take Chapter 3 verse 1 and Chapter 4 verse 4 to heart and mind, thanking the Lord for every detail He is working out in my life!

Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord.

Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!

A sisterhood emerges from the fire

5:34 p.m. Today's project was to lead a Mary Kay pedicure and facial spa party at the home of Mary Lou, a member of our pilot Alzheimer's/dementia caregivers' class given at the Riverside County Office of Aging. There were 4 gals enjoying the even complexion mask while they soaked their feet in the mint-eucalyptus scented pedicure bowls. Wish I could have joined them, but I had to conduct the class so they would get the most out of it. (Besides, I try to give myself a foot treatment once a week during the summer). We started with a Satin Hands treatment and ended with a delicious lunch.

As I sit on my living room loveseat with my legs up on the piano bench Steve so nicely moved for me, with a heating pad behind my lower back, I thank the Lord that He gave me the strength to not cancel the party. I actually needed to continue staying off my feet, using the cane, and keeping my sciatica leg elevated today like I've been doing since Friday. But our group needed the fellowship and they all definitely deserved the pampering! I sold a couple of products, and have booked follow-up appointments with them individually, but the best part was all of the sharing and encouragement we gave one another!

Willie Mae told us how her husband will insist, "I'll write the check" at church, but then quietly hand the checkbook back to her, saying, "You do it." I comforted her with, "At least he is asserting himself as the head of the family, as he always did before; it's when they just passively go through each day when it's tragic." Our loved ones all appear to be at a similar stage in the disease, even though Steve is 30 years younger than their parents or in one gal's case, her husband. So we can talk quite a bit about deteriorating abilities and manners at the dinner table, for instance, and what that means for future socializing as a couple or family.

Dressing and undressing, and changing out of dirty clothes has become a challenge for the men now. Resistance to changing a favorite shirt, no comprehension of clothes getting stale or stained, and confusion in dressing, reversing front and back are mid-stage attributes. Michele has her husband go upstairs and supervise his dad at bedtime to make sure he changes into pajamas. Steve and I have agreed to rid his closet of t-shirts that have designs on them, because he consistently puts them on backwards and becomes very stressed-out about it. We are keeping special event memento shirts, like the "Ben Born Again" outreach shirt from the 70's, folded and put away.

How blessed it is to be with women who totally understand what I'm going through, and I understand their issues. But we've all tried to do it on our own before enlisting professional help. MaryLou's dad is now at Encore Village and enjoying it; Willie May's husband goes to Care Connexxus adult daycare 3 days a week; Michele has a private respite home where she can drop her father-in-law off for a weekend or a week when she and hr husband travel; Diana and I have in-home are for our dementia victims.

But each one of us knows to enjoy them now for as long as possible, have fun and make an enjoyable life together while they are physically capable and know who we are!

Sometimes I marvel at how a newspaper article that I may not have even caught has impacted my life. The Lord had prepared my heart by making it clear to my mind that I needed help! That help came as written and verbal presentations from professionals, and mutual emotional support from fellow caregivers. On paper, everything looked good-I had help coming in that was paid for with long term care insurance funds; all legal forms had the i's dotted and the t's crossed. So why was I dabbing my eyes almost continually during classes?

It was me, the person, who was on the verge of breaking down, and I didn't even know it. God knew it, though, because He knows each person better than they know themselves. Listen to these beloved verses, Psalm 139:1-4:

O LORD, You have searched me and known me.

You know my sitting down and my rising up;

You understand my thoughts afar off.

You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways.

For there is not a word on my tongue, but behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.

Thank you, Lord, for bringing me sweet sisters to walk through the fire of affliction with!

Thank you that I am not alone.

And thank you that I could give them a relaxed pampering session--it's the least I could do!

Gentle spirit

11:15 p.m. Today's project was to enjoy a nice Labor Day lunch with our daughter Heather and our son-in-law Nick. Steve and I did the best we could to get ready considering my gimpy leg and his mental struggles, but the table was set, the corn had hit the boiling water and the spicy potato wedges were in the oven by the time the front door was unlocked by the kids.

We were delighted that Nick was able to open the gas valve on the barbeque grill, a job that had nagged at Steve all week and caused frustration for both of us. Nick then proved to be the perfect grill master, with our hamburger patties uniformly tasty, but with some more done than others--perfect for every taste! From the home front, the corncobs were small but delicious, as were the homemade and grown green tomatillo salsa and my "secret" barbeque sauce.

Later, I was told by the caregiver that stayed with Steve while I went down to Long Beach for an evening with my son Kriss and Marisela, that Steve is such a gentle spirit, and told her, "the Lord is the one who keeps me going."

Believer, we each have a testimony, even those like Steve whom the world would officially but tactfully set aside because they just can't keep up with life now. In trusting Christ, Steve has grasped the most important piece of knowledge ever made available to mankind: "Jesus Saves."

Hear I Corinthians 1:27, 29:

God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise...that no flesh should glory in his presence.

Be glorified O Lord, in our lives today!

God is good like that

9:08 p.m. Today's project was to enjoy the help and hope that my kids and friends brought us.

We were blessed to enjoy a visit with Heidi and Pavel in the morning as she organized and served Steve his breakfast before they went to church. Pavel's surgery was a success. He and Heidi are beginning their fall rotation teaching 5th & 6th grade at Children's Church starting next Sunday. I was glad to see them, because she'll have lesson planning to do on Labor Day. I am grateful that Steve and I could watch the church service online today.

I tried having everything I use in the morning (coffee pot ready to perk, mug, spoon and creamers, Bible, mini notebook computer, journals and pens) upstairs and ready when I awoke. That way I wouldn't have to make the agonizing trek downstairs when my pain is at its worst. My sister suggested sleeping downstairs, and I am considering it. Sooner or later I'd have to go upstairs, I guess, to shower and dress, but my Advil would take effect by then, prayerfully!

Wisdom is what I am seeking, because I need to treat my body as carefully as possible in hopes of feeling better, even healed, by tomorrow. My prayer is to be like those chosen to serve in the early church (Acts 6:3), "full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom" for my week ahead, whether writing my Thursday Bible study, holding facial parties and appointments, or returning to cooking and cleaning my home and caring for my husband. Sadly, Steve is more confused than ever, probably due to the sorry turn of events with my health and abilities this week.

Speaking of not cooking, our friends Bob and Debbie came by with a huge Kentucky Fried Chicken meal, everything you love that's not very good for you, but utterly delicious. We had so much fun! When a meal is topped off by chocolate cake and double vanilla ice cream, who's quibbling over a few calories? More special meals are in store--Debbie is organizing meals for us if need be. Much as I'd LOVE to sample some of my girlfriends' culinary creations, I'd really like to be up and cooking for my husband by tomorrow!

Almost forgot to mention the most amazing happening of this afternoon. Steve went out onto the front porch at 10 minutes before 5, and I heard the sound of dragging a heavy package. Odd on a Sunday...I peeked out from the family room where my leg was up on pillows, and there he was, with a surprise gift: a 50 lb. bag of dog food! Praise the Lord! We were laughing because the dogs eat right at 5 p.m. Furthermore, I'd forgotten that we were out of their food, though I'd had plans to get some, stressful and difficult as it would have been to do so. But GOD hadn't forgotten Bailey and Jada, nor my painful plight! As Hagar said in the wilderness when driven away from Abram's home, in Genesis 16:13 (KJV), "Thou God seest me." Our cousin Bobbi Self reacted in Facebook to this praise report by stating, "God is good like that."

Yes, He is!

Opened eyes

5:37 p.m. Today's project was to welcome our friends over, kind and thoughtful friends, bringing much-needed assistance, fellowship and cheer, even while my physical pain has consigned me to a spot on top of my bed, where I had to finish my devotions. I had much to journal about to the Lord today!

It's day 3 of this sciatica attack,and I am wondering how long these things last. Going up and down stairs shouldn't even be attempted, but I can't leave Steve alone, wondering what to do for himself, the dogs, or the garden and yards. I decided to call my friend Linda, at first for prayer, but when she asked what we needed, I was honest. "Steve needs someone to organize his breakfast. The food is here, he just can't find it or put it together." Knowing they were on the way gave me the incentive to carefully step into the shower and pull myself together! Bless their giving hearts, Linda and John came over, she got Steve's breakfast ready while John and Steve went into the garden, and then spent a nice, long time of ministry seated on the edge of my bed while the two men visited downstairs.. What a Godsend! II Corinthians 1:3-4 was exemplified by Linda, who has suffered from many serious medical conditions, comforting me as God has comforted her!

My next visitor was Debbie Snyder, with two packs of ThermaCare heat wraps, cheerful conversation, and instructions on how she uses the product. Those wraps aren't cheap, so her generosity is much appreciated, especially since she uses them herself fairly frequently! The Lord is so gracious, providing me with such lovely friends.

I was resting and reading my friend Pam's book of short stories, poems and "slices of life," when a key turned in the front door lock at 1:00 and I heard my younger daughter Heather talking with her dad. Yippee! Lunch would get prepared without a dreadful walk downstairs. She ran up, asked me what to get out for Steve's sandwich and fixings, and quickly got him situated. Then she prepared my Dole Caesar salad dressing kit, only with homemade Ranch dressing, brought that up, and we had the best time catching up, with her lying on her dad's side of the bed.

I love the woman that my 3 years' married daughter has become, sharp, savvy in her job at the State Senator's office, active in youth ministry, and wife to the wonderful Nick. But she'll be ready to move on when Nick finishes his thesis and begins his profession. All of us will be cheering when she can do her photography on as full-time a basis as she desires to. All in God-time, and meanwhile working as an "underling" as she calls her secretarial job, is the best preparation for leadership, I reminded her. And a leader she will be!

My older daughter is at a late-starting and lengthy wedding, so we may not see her and Pavel this evening. I think I can get dinner re-heats ready, though, in short bursts of moderate activity, just like I helped Steve with watering the garden, the backyard, and trying to make the gas barbeque start (didn't happen). But, at least he put the gasoline can, oil and the destroyed lawnmower back in the garage. Alzheimer's had struck again--he told me yesterday that he realized that he'd put gas in the oil receptacle and oil in the gas section. That's why the lawnmower spewed smoke and then quit. When I feel better next week, I'll call a low-cost lawn service recommended at church. That is sad, because lawn care was such an enjoyable pastime for Steve, and he did it well.

Later this afternoon, a Christian single dad came by to check out the room we have for rent. We are situated close to his work and not far from Harvest, and the price is right. Oddly, Steve never even heard the dogs bark, the doorbell ring, or knew the gentleman was in the house, even though he was just out on the patio with the dogs and the two of us were talking in the kitchen!

My eyes were opened to something very serious today. I am essentially alone in my home, or like a mom home with an infant, a loved one whose needs are far more urgent than mine. In other words, no one could call 911 if I get hurt, or have any clue how to help if my temporary disability should become lengthy or more serious. Steve cannot get his own food or independently care for the house or grounds. He needs hands-on directions even for dressing and grooming many days. He would not be able to live alone now, so whatever arrangements the kids have to make for me would have to include finding full-time care for their dad here from our agency or placement in a care facility. And paying bills? I guess they could be brought to the hospital and I could direct someone when and how to get them paid. It's probably time to get the girls' names on my accounts...

When the Lord opens our eyes, it's not to frighten us, which none of this does, but to warn us to act wisely and with dispatch to protect our loved ones--and ourselves--from unnecessary debacles. Jesus holds us in His everlasting arms, of that I am sure, more than anything else in this world, and He will never forsake me! Some very difficult and dreadful decisions are ahead for me, but I won't be alone; He is with me.

Lord, open my eyes, to learn from Your law, all that You would guide me to do to glorify you in my days to come! Let me be a witness in this trial and bring many souls into Your kingdom. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Inching and OUCHing forward

6:44 p.m. Today's project was to get out of bed, without falling and walk downstairs normally. I accomplished the first goal, but in excruciating pain. After a night off from the pain, having taken Vicodin every four hours, I was reduced to crawling out to the hallway to wake Steve up to put the dogs out and pray with me! (I'd been in such pain from my hip last night that I didn't want to wake Steve with getting up and down, so I'd slept in the room next door).

The pain that had started in my hip now continued down my leg, even to the tops of my feet! What was happening? How was I supposed to go downstairs and start the coffee, or have my devotions? And did I need to cancel my 10:00 hair appointment and a modest skincare sale at the salon? Would I be able to step over the tub entrance to take a shower?

First thing first--get downstairs, favoring my "good" leg--staggering and hobbling, while reminding Steve that he'd only eaten his banana, but hadn't taken the pile of meds that he does each morning. I asked him whether he'd be able to get out his breakfast things, and he kind of stared at me, not a good sign. So, while I told him to just go ahead and take his shower, I bent down to the lower part of the pantry to fill his bowl with granola, put a huge slice of rye bread in he toaster, set out his margarine with butter knife, and refilled his water. I was doing my best not to scream with pain, when a thought occurred to me: I had my Freedom Alert pendant on for a reason. There was no one at home to deal with an emergency if my condition worsened and I became helpless. Steve just isn't capable any more of grasping the seriousness of another person's situation, or relating, even to my situation. He cannot take the initiative to be helpful, even if it just means taking care of his own needs. He came downstairs in a dirty shirt and torn-up jeans that had to be changed. That realization was not only scary, but sorrowful and lonely, too...

What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee , Psalm 56:3 (KJV), the first verse my kindergarten students in Christian school would memorize, stood me in good stead today. The neighbors all work, my kids are all at work or out of town. Even for the neighbors who are retired, how was I supposed to walk even next door? Better start collecting phone numbers! I don't think you can call 911 for an attack of arthritis. Maybe you can, I don't know.

One thing in my favor today was that a caregiver was coming by 9:30, so I took 3 Advil, started our devotions as normal, and kept praying this was just a case of "traveling arthritis" like my late mother had, a PASSING case, not one that would leave me bedridden!

I gobbled down some egg salad I'd made the other day, praise the Lord, freshened up and got dressed just in time for Amie to come to the door. Bless her heart, she did laundry for me, and kept up with Steve and his chores. By the time I returned, she had made sure he was eating his lunch. With some time to spare while the laundry dried, I gave her a microdermabrasion treatment. She folded the clothes and then was on her way.

Gradually, I reclaimed my day, and saw the chiropractor at 3:00, who declared that the sciatic nerve was the basis of my problem. I hobbled out of Dr. Madison's office with some hope, if not lasting relief. I'll see him again next Wednesday.

More Advil at 7 p.m. Steve and I were able to enjoy wonderful Roxie Rising's worship songs at a coffee shop I'd not seen before, "Sips." Friends and family were there in full support of her attendance at the School of Worship at Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa.

Restful music, focused on Jesus! "My peace I leave with you," He said in John 14:27.

That's a verse I'll claim tonight!

Ouch!

5:23 p.m. Today's project was to teach our Bible study I Samuel Chapter 26 and 27. If that seems like a lot, it's not really, because the chapters are short and flow together. I actually went into Chapter 28:1-2, again, to finish that dark era of David's life when he fought with and for the Philistine King Achish. Ouch--what an extreme fall into backsliding!




From the moment I got up, I've had the worst aches and pains in my left hip and leg, arthritis striking suddenly, making it difficult to stand, sit or even walk without limping. I had friends praying I'd be able to sit long enough to teach the Bible study, and God was gracious to answer. I also managed to have a comfortable visit with my fellow author and cancer victim Pamela Judge, during which we exchanged books.



Later, walking with Steve through CVS, I was limping like a person with one leg shorter than the other, or a hip out of its joint! Moving seems to help, so I took a completed Homestay packet--for housing a foreign exchange student-- over to the University of California Riverside. Quite a little hobble from the parking lot upstairs to the office! On the way home, I managed to make my circuit through Ralphs for groceries, and get dinner started. Even now, I'm standing for longer than I should, while I wait for Steve's caregiver. Poor Amie--she got lost after a traffic re-routing by local police. She just isn't familiar enough with the area to find her way back from a police blockade of Arlington Avenue.

One fun, motivating Mary Kay meeting later, in which I gave the inspirational message on our commitments showing who we are, I'm back, in pain, and praying for a good night's sleep somehow.

Only God will be able to provide that! Over the counter painkillers are certainly not working...

As I pray and lie down for the night, I'll rest in this assurance of God's continued work in His people's lives, Zechariah 3:6:

NOT BY MIGHT, NOR BY POWER, BUT BY MY SPIRIT, SAYS THE LORD OF HOSTS.