Check it out

1:40 p.m. Today's project --and the week's project--was to check into the ideas that the Holy Spirit called my attention to.

It started on Wednesday when I spotted an ad for a Christian concert being held by a nationwide chain of bookstores. Thinking that they might be interested in carrying my Bible study Galatians: An Exploration of Faith & Freedom, I called their headquarters and received emailed instructions for submitting products in my inbox within the hour. So I will work on that over the weekend! Thank You, Lord!

This morning, still smarting after the loss of some of our monthly rent check due to roof repair after a hailstorm at our house in Cheyenne, Wyoming, an idea popped into my head: we have homeowners insurance--why not check into reimbursement for those repairs?! The property management company documents their repair expenses for us per incident, so supplying proof is no problem.

I finished my devotions and contacted our State Farm agent in Cheyenne, and had a wonderful conversation with the office manager there. She recounted arriving in Cheyenne from the Imperial Valley here in Southern California a few years ago, and having to run out and buy her kids jeans because there was a snowstorm in progress--in April!

She did advise me that adjusters need to see the damage before repairs are undertaken, so they can see what the damage really amounted to, which I received as a word to the wise for future. Beverly has already sent me the office information and instructions for future claims. So gracious is our God! Psalm 145:18 says,

The LORD is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth.

Lately, the Lord has sent ladies over to my home with time to enjoy a facial. Pretty nice sales have resulted, and new customers are excited about the Mary Kay product line. Who knows? I may see new team members as a result. This afternoon, I have two facials coming up in my dining room. I will also have an opportunity to invite them to the Harvest Crusade!Praise You, Jesus!

Today, another opportunity came to my attention. Knowing that Steve and I have been advertising for a renter for our refurbished spare bedrooom, my hairdresser told me about a University of California Riverside program that she has participated in over the years. It's called "Homestay," for foreign students to live with local families and learn the American lifestyle and culture. All that is required is a separate bedroom with bed and desk, and their own bathroom, exactly what we are offering. Irene tells me it's very pleasant. They eat with you, and you just take them to school at 9 a.m. in the morning and pick them up at 4 p.m. On Saturdays and Sundays they take field trips, and again, just need to be picked up and dropped off. They were at lunch when I called, and I am awaiting a return phone call.

The Lord can bring concepts to us at any time, such as when we are serving our spouse, or when we are worshiping Him in our quiet devotional time. It is then up to us to follow up, make the contact, or carry out whatever instructions He gives us. Even if much hard work is involved, such as readying our spare bedroom, we'll be blessed in our efforts.

I read a quote on our son Steven's wall, I think credited to Ann Landers: "Since opportunity is often disguised as hard work, many people miss it."

Only God himself knows what He has in mind for each of His children, so I'll close in faith with Jeremiah 29:11:

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Don't be an "amateur providence." Part II

9:45 p.m. Today's project was to teach I Samuel 23 to our faithful group of women who meet each Thursday morning for Bible study. We had quite a discussion as moms: how do we trust the Lord with our grown children, rather than trying to be amateur providences, opening all the doors for our kids, making their way as smooth and painless as possible, pushing them forward.

I shared about my experience with the Lord concerning our youngest son Steven (post of August 10), where the Lord made it impossible for me to help my son in even the smallest way, because HE had a plan to help Steven get to a job interview, and ultimately, get a job, yesterday.

We're moms, what can we say?! We pour our lives into our children, pray for and with them, and help them through their education and in shaping their life goals. We obey Deuteronomy 6: 5-7:

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.

We lead our children to the Lord Jesus Christ for salvation!

Sometimes we overstep our bounds in our zeal for the wellbeing of our children. And when our consciences are tendered by the Holy Spirit, we repent, confess and start afresh as the Lord leads. He loves our children more than we do!

Jesus was confronted (Matthew 20:20-23) by one of the pushiest stage mothers of all time, the mother of disciples James and John. Pay attention to this dialogue:

Then the mother of Zebedees' sons came to Him with her sons, kneeling down and asking something from Him.

And He said to her, "What do you wish?"

She said to Him, "Grant that these two sons of mine may sit, one on Your right hand and the other on the left, in Your kingdom."

But Jesus answered and said, "You do not know what you ask. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?"

They said to Him, "We are."

So He said to them, "You will indeed drink my cup, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with; but to sit on My right hand and on My left is not Mine to give, but it is for those for whom it is prepared by My Father.

Most of us wouldn't have that kind of nerve! But Jesus stated calmly, with truth and a challenge: "You do not know what you ask." I suppose that we feel much wiser because we have the Bible in our hands, we KNOW who Jesus is, and are looking back to a mother in an unprecendented situation.

Embarassing as it is to admit, a tiny part of our mom-heart can identify with her--we may not want high positions and recognition for ourselves, but we sure have that desire for our children!

As in every endeavor in life, Christian mothers need to pray, listen to the Holy Spirit, immerse ourselves in the Bible, and let God lead us in our attitudes, words and actions concerning our children. We won't stop being Mom, but we can allow the Holy Spirit to make us a blessing, a quiet support, and let our children follow God and conduct their lives for Him without our "help!"

Don't be an "amateur providence." Part I

6:10 p.m. Today's project was to step back and NOT help our youngst son, struggling as many young people are today, applying everywhere, getting repeated interviews, but no job. He texted me that he had a job interview today, so his dad and I had been praying. Last night, he asked if I could put some gas money in his credit union account so he could drive across town for the 12:00 p.m. appointment. I said yes, because I know he's beyond being on a tight budget--he's on a no-budget! Steven's been surviving by the grace of God, staying active in ministry, working as a trainer whenever he can, and receiving sporadic payments from his bodybuilding sponsor.

This morning at 4:00 a.m., I woke up and soon realized that I was not going to drift back to sleep. Steve and his C-pap were humming away, so I went into Heidi's old room with my cell phone (which I use for an alarm) and began thinking about and praying for Steven. Then the Lord spoke to me about my promise of funds for Steven and told me to check my bank balances.

To my dismay and conviction, being between fixed income payments, I did not have the funds in any of my accounts to help my son! I got on my knees tearfully praying for forgiveness for "rescuing" my son from the worst of his difficulties time and again, when he has clearly decided that the Lord wants him in Fresno, and therefore should live with the struggles that is calling for! (More than once I've strongly suggested that he move home, especially when he can't make his rent).

Can't be sure where I first read the term "amateur providence," but as a mom, I've played that role more than once over the last 3 decades. Problem is, we can no longer afford it! By God's grace, four of our adult kids are working and self-supporting, as was Steven before the economy hit bottom and he lost his private training clients. I am so grateful that I have my business and now the sales of my book to supplement my pensions and Steve's Social Security disability payments. The Lord has kept us going on so many levels, as Psalm 121:3b-4 says,

He who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, He who keeps Israel

Shall neither slumber nor sleep.

Yet I wasn't trusting the same Lord I've committed my life to, to take care of my son!

I went back to bed, but Steve's spasms, though mild, would jerk me back awake, and I ended up in the other bedroom. At 7:00, I went back to my room to wake Steve up to put the dogs out and take his meds, and then we snoozed until 7:30, when my cell phone alarm went off again.

It was time to text Steven-I wanted him to have plenty of time to find transportation. I simply told him I didn't have the funds to help him, and could he take a bus? He answered that he didn't have bus money, so I just left it at that. Steve and I prayed on the spot.

Downstairs, I read Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest, the selection for today, "The Sacrament of the Saint." The headline verse is I Peter 4:19:

Let them that suffer according to the will of God, commit their souls to Him in well-doing.

(i.e., Commit their souls to God, not their mother!) Here are some quotes from the devotion:

No healthy saint ever chooses suffering; he chooses God's will, as Jesus did, whether it means suffering or not. No saint dare interfere with the discipline of suffering in another saint.

The saint who satisfies the heart of Jesus will make other saints strong and mature for God. The people who do us good are never those who sympathize with us, they always hinder, because sympathy enervates...If we accept the sympathy of a saint, the reflex feeling is--Well, God is dealing hardly with me. That is why Jesus said self-pity was of the devil (See Matt. 16:23).

Looks like this saint has been hindering her son's maturity in Christ from time to time!

Later, Steven texted me, "I'll make it. I'll be fine." I thanked him for alleviating my worry and told him to read the amazing Oswald Chambers devotion for today.

Later still, Steven texted , "Just got a full time job at an organic food store as a produce clerk."

Think I'll commemorate August 10, 2011 as the day I retired from being a hindrance to my son's spiritual growth!

Grieving now and later

7:32 p.m. Today's project was to attend the last of my 12 week Alzheimer/dementia caregiver support class. Next week, on my birthday, we will be feastiing on box lunches from Jason's Deli, and neck and shoulder massages from the students at a local therapy school who need the hours and experience. We will also be enjoying the fellowship and support we all have benefitted from as our group has grown close to one another.

Today's topic was one that facilitator Darlene was dreading going through, but one that is necessary for all of us to be aware of and realistic about: grieving. The powerpoint presentation was entitled "Grieving--a Natural Reaction to Loss." ( exerpted from Working through Grief, 2005, Channing Bete, Inc.)

One thing that impressed me was that grief can follow many kinds of loss:

• death of a loved one


• separation or divorce


• miscarriage


• injury or disability


• loss of a job, property or pet


• children leaving home

Common reactions to loss are: shock/disbelief--unable to believe that your loved one is gone; anger or resentment--feeling like a great injustice has been done; guilt-- not having done more to prevent death, or not being there to say goodbye, or being relieved that the loved one died, as in a long and painful illness; fear or anxiety--feeling unable to handle new responsibilities; deep sadness--lonely, like there's a hole in the center of your life; physical problems--weight loss/gain, extreme fatigue, trouble sleeping, being more prone to colds and other illnesses.

One thing that I feel Steve and I both are experiencing is called Anticipatory Grief, a feeling of loss before a death occurs. He mentioned tonight that he fears a long, drawn out death, just lying in a bed. (Probably thinking of his brother Larry who became paralyzed and bedriddden for some months before he died, even though Steve has no physical problems and his Alzheimer's is taking a different pathway through the brain). As for me, I feel grief for the loss of the person who was so energetic and a problem solver, as quick with the quips as he was with thousands of tools. I do occasionally think of what his death will mean to me and to the kids, but am admonished by this quote from Jesus, Matthew 6:34 :

Take no thought for the morrow, for the morrow will take thought for the things of itself.

That is not easy to do, but when has being a disciple of the Lord been an easy road to walk?

Other than making prudent legal and financial arrangements, I let God be God, and live each day as close to Him as Ican!

In our class this morning there were some tears, but we all appreciated knowing that we are experiencing normal feelings of loss, and normal reactions to those feelings. But we did receive counsel to look for signs of genuine depression, a treatable condition, such as feelings of despair, hopelessness or worthlessness, and seek counsel and medical help as needed. I would add for believers, speaking with a counseling pastor, trained in applying the Word of God to the issues of life. And don't cut people out of your life, even if you cannot be "out and about" as much as usual because of a loved one's (or your) condition, or new responsibilities that accompany your bereavement. God will make a way!

Even though the path is dark at times, and we don't know what to do, keep Psalm 119:105 close to your heart and in your mind:

Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

And eventually, as healing comes, and mourning gradually subsides, remember another favorite verse of mine, Psalm 97:11:

Light is sown for the righteous, and gladness for the upright in heart.

Getting the right start

7:11 p.m. Today's project was to get my research and notes started for Thursday's Bible study on I Samuel 23. Today was pretty relaxed compared to last weekend, for example, when we got up at 5:00 and 5:30 a.m. Friday and Saturday.

Mondays generally are stay-at-home days, for making or cancelling medical appointments, paying bills, and filling my business planner with new ladies to see and pamper with facials. Steve also handles projects at home, like today, dusting and scrubbing window sills and painting the room-for rent. (I was very involved in keeping the project clean and orderly, but he finished the job!). He also filed down the hardened foam gap-filler that was sticking out of the hole it filled--now it's flush with the wall!

While he proceeded with his work, I jotted my notes for the chapter in which fugitive David rescues the Judean city of Keilah from the Philistines, only to have those ingrates report his whereabouts to his pursuer King Saul! Sometimes it seems that "Good guys finish last!" Since the people of Keilah were more afraid of Saul than David, David became expendable.

Doesn't the way the world treats God's people give you a longing for the next life in eternity with Jesus? Daniel 12:2-3 describes the way our choices will determine our eternity:

And many of those who sleep in

the dust of the earth shall awake,

Some to everlasting life,

Some to shame and everlasting contempt.

Those who are wise shall shine

Like the brightness of the firmament.

And those who turn many to

righteousness

Like the stars forever and ever.

But God brought comfort, encouragement and belief to David as he hid with his 600 men, in the form of his best friend Jonathan, who slipped away to speak with him in the forest of the Wilderness of Ziph. Verse 16 of the chapter says, "Then Jonathan, Saul's son, arose and went to David in the woods and strengthened his hand in God."

"Strengthened his hand in God!" Is there anything better than to have a friend renew your belief in God's care and calling? Just as Jonathan assured David that Saul would not find him, and he would be king one day--even Saul knew it--my friend Pati offered me such great encouragement this afternoon when I was indeed blessed to be able to immerse myself in the word of God, but also stressed by helping Steve do very basic tasks like putting paint on a roller or cutting his meat. I was so very refreshed as we shared about our families' trials and pledged, like David and Jonathan, to pray for one another and support one another.

Pati told me that she thinks about me every day and always keeps me in prayer for our trial with Steve's Alzheimer's. How humbling, how amazing, what a God-thing it is when a sister in the Lord loves me that much! And I am able to love her in Jesus' name as well.

Just know, believer, that Jesus loves you, and has support for you in your discouraging times, perhaps with a quiet word just for you from the Holy Spirit; or with a good audible word or visible act of loving support from a friend!!

Room almost ready to rent

7:09 p.m. Today's project was to enjoy an inspired Sunday church service, which we did, and then arrange to meet with potential renters for my daughter's room at the Starbucks restaurant down the hill in the Canyon Crest Towne Centre.

Steve and I have had two prospects come to the house, interestingly from 2 ends of the age spectrum--a 26 year old grad student, and the other a 61 year-old referral from a 30+ year's friend whose recommendation allowed me to skip the step of meeting in a public place first.

The student was hoping to be really close to the University of California Riverside, so our 2-3 mile distance may have been a deal-breaker. The woman we had over yesterday loved everything about the house, us, the location and price, but struggled with the stairs. Her rheumatoid arthritis was flaring up yesterday, so she'll probably keep looking for something on the ground level. She'll let us know by Wednesday.

I replied by email to a couple of people who looked legit and set up a tentative meeting or two, but the timing was off. Oddly, it didn't bother me at all, even with the need we have to add to our income. Maybe it was the long to-do list I had for the afternoon, like contacting my Heart to Home ministry instructors for our fall start-up; sending a product through Mary Kay's delivery service to a friend; working outside in the garden with Steve; clipping Sunday coupons; removing the valance from the rental bedroom's windows for laundering; checking my inventory and adjusting my product order. The last item was checked off when I made the call to an electrician friend for help with our blacked-out automatic sprinkler system. Several of these tasks involved stints at the computer, so progress was slow as I had to take break after break for my sore back's sake!

Back up in the bedroom, I looked at the utter girlishness of the room, and thought, as I took down the valance, that I might leave just the off-white blinds on the windows for a more neutral feeling. Then I perused the hundred or so snapshots my photographer daughter had stapled to the wall on each side of the closet, and thought, "I'll take those down rather than tell a tenant that the pictures will be removed." Next will be all of the little toys and knickknacks on the shelves. and our pride and joy, the elaborately costumed porcelain dolls! (I have no idea where they will go--maybe my business office? That is a girls' haven for makeup and beauty anyway)!

The reason I haven't been characteristically frantic to rent the room, despite the need for extra income, is that God's timing, as well as the ideal renter, will be perfect and amazing, I am sure.

Psalm 145:15-19 says,

The eyes of all look expectantly to You,
And You give them their food in due season.

You open Your hand
And satisfy the desire of every living thing.

The LORD is righteous in all His ways,
Gracious in all His works.

The LORD is near to all who call upon Him,
To all who call upon Him in truth.

He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him;
He also will hear their cry and save them.

The second reason I'm not panicked is that I realize now, after more scrutiny, that the room isn't ready! And maybe neither are we.

We've all heard the phrase "running before the Lord," meaning that Christians need to be prayerful, as we have been, over any step in a new direction, or even an advancement in a ministry or living situation that's well established. Some rush ahead with all sincerity and love for the Lord and His work, only to be told by Him to wait or redirect their fervor; others sit around stultified, dreading to even dip their pinky toe in a wading pool and end up doing little or nothing for the Lord! Where's the balance?

I believe that if we pray about an opportunity, be it career or ministry, diligently prepare and carefully consult the Bible each day, not just on that topic, but in our normal daily devotional portion, speak with those already serving in the ministry God has laid on our heart, and make orderly steps in that direction, the doors will open in His time.

When God called me to run for the Riverside Unified School Board in 1990, I wasn't ready! But after being asked to run by Christian leaders, I made careful, orderly steps to establish name recognition through service in the district schools. By 1992, the next election, support was there, and money, for a wonderfully successful run, the first of three campaigns and 13 years of public service.

Jesus is never in a hurry--but He is always at work!

Readying the room-for-rent is giving me a fresh perspective and sweet memories at the same time, both redolent of the sweet fragrance of my Lord!

A champion indeed!

1:08 p.m. Today's project was to attend the Breakfast of Champions, Mary Kay's monthly recognition breakfast, at the Norco Hills Country Club, with Steve. We were especially gathering to honor Cara Murray, who, at the age of 21, has become a Sales Director of her own "Shining Lights" unit!

I was apprehensive about helping Steve dress in a suit and tie, but by waking up at 5:30 and keeping our general morning routine in a low-key way, all went well. We made good time and only hit some low fog at Corona. It turned out to be a beautiful morning!

Cara first came to our Senior Sales director Laurie's training meeting when she was a senior at Arlington High school, bringing six girls with her. Once she made the decision to become a consultant at a breakfast three years ago, Cara has worked consistently and energetically to facial 30 women a month, and that's the key to her success. she credited setting goals and meeting them, and letting failures lead to success.

I would say, not letting setbacks become stall-outs!

Cara shared Jesus' words in Matthew 7:7-8 with all of us:

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks it shall be opened.

She told us that when her mother (a Mary Kay Consultant in the '90's) died of melanoma when Cara was 16, even though the family was mourning, they rejoiced because her mom went to be with the Savior she loved. But that left a hole in Cara's life, a hole that needed filling with role models, godly examples for her to follow and learn from. She also needed a career after college. She certainly has one now, plus a free car she'll be driving soon! As to Cara's astounding move up the career ladder as a leader of women, hear I Timothy 4:12:

Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.

I could not stop crying during her talk, because the inspiration was so powerful. Others were dabbing their eyes as well. I guess I thought of how my daughters cried when I had breast cancer, although it was tiny and I'm an 8 year survivor, by the grace of God. I wonder what kind of role model I am, or where that role modeling should take place (probably everywhere and every day, from what the above scripture tells me)! Like any believer who is honest with herself, confession of lack in attitude and actions is a regular occurrence. I'm so proud of my own daughters, and of the young women in our unit, building their teams, helping other women create businesses of their own. They have their lives ahead of them, and unless the Lord returns first, they can aspire to a decades-long career in Mary Kay.

With Steve there at my side, looking sharp, handling everything with minimal confusion, I couldn't help but wonder how my "moment of fame" will go when I move further along in my business. Will Steve even be able to attend? Will he be wheelchair bound? He's been so joyfully supportive, so proud of my every advancement and even the tiniest earnings from facials and parties. Will I be able to speak coherently without sobbing if he cannot stand by my side? Who will I have created a better life for? He supported me so well for so long--he deserves to enjoy any success the Lord gives me, as well as to fellowship with other couples in the Mary Kay family. Steve wouldn't care about any jewelry I might win, but he'd have loved the travel and free cars!

Well, there's no sense being maudlin, and this morning was not about me anyway. GO CARA!

I'll trust the Lord to set my goals, walk with me toward them, and provide the unique joy in the journey that only He can--circumstances not withstanding.