Beloved of the Lord, sleep well

10:20 p.m. Today's project was to teach our summer Bible study on II Samuel 17, where David narrowly escapes the army of his traitorous son Absalom, who has seized the throne. As with every week's gathering, we enjoy rich gleanings from the Word of God, and lively discussion. As much as I anticipated sheer enjoyment of our study time,  a major commemoration preoccupied my mind when I arose several hours earlier.

This day, July 11th, would have been my late husband Steve's and my 32nd wedding anniversary. He died 6 months ago in his bed in the assisted living residence where he had lived comfortably and well since September 2012. Despite our grief, my children and grandchildren and I have moved forward, experiencing accomplishments, trials, as well as the mental and emotional adjustments that must be made when the father and husband of the family is just--gone.

Behold, I will do a new thing we are reminded in Isaiah 43:19, and God has made that abundantly clear. Two of my kids, their spouses and little ones are living here now; a new grandson was born on June 9, then took ill with spinal meningitis within two weeks. Desmond is home now, after 2 weeks in the NICU, completely healthy and normal, thanks to the prayers of hundreds of Christians for his healing..

I have set up a trust for  all of Steve's and my estate. The yards and property are now being landscaped and properly fenced; my business is growing rapidly as God is literally bringing the women who want to join me in the effort to become a Sales Unit with me as Director. I'm pictured below with one of my team members.

Steve won't enjoy the earthly rewards, such as travel and career cars, that my business will provide. He was always so supportive, and would be my loudest cheerleader if he were here and in his right mind. But, his sojourn on this earth ended, reminding me of Hebrews 11:8-10:

By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to the place which he would receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he dwelt in the land of promise as in a foreign country, dwelling in tents with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise; for he waited for the city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God.

Steve is now living the promise of eternal life, having gone to be with the Lord Jesus he loves. And while God is anointing my work and ministry, answering prayers, and being the central presence in my life, I have so much to look forward to when my time comes to leave--prayerfully with all other Christians in the Rapture --(I Thessalonians 4:13-18), if God wills it during my lifetime.

God blessed me with a lovely dream the other night! Steve and I were younger, enjoying our time together, including a visit to Harvest Christian Fellowship where we attended for 22 years. All was bright, beautifully decorated, and the worship and fellowship were sweet. What a peace I always wake up with when I dream of Steve! I am living proof that when we honor what God honors, faithful marriage, He has a reward for us:

 ...the peace of God that surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7 

Additionally, God gave me this verse when I awoke after the sweet dream, Psalm 127:2b:

For so He gives His beloved sleep.

Thank You, Lord Jesus!!

Essentials for ministry

8:53 p.m. Today's project was to enjoy sweet fellowship. Midday, I picked up a friend's daughter from the Amtrak train station in Riverside. Emily wanted to surprise her mom by arriving all the way from Germany, where she and her husband are stationed, to help her recuperate from surgery. You should have seen  Emily's parents' faces when they opened the door! Priceless! It's not often that I have the privilege of blessing Debi, who's been there for me so devotedly throughout Steve's illness and since I became a widow this year. As Proverbs 17:17 says,

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

After a few hours at home with my kids, and taking care of a few chores in the yard, I headed off to Perris with a head of iceberg lettuce and my Bible to join Karen Morales and several good friends at her home for her bi-monthly "Ladies Only Fellowship," featuring taco salad and multiple desserts. Upon entering, Karen has us each write the address of a Bible verse on a square of paper, fold it, no name, and drop it into a  jar. Later in the evening, we pick a different one than we brought, look it up, read it to the group, and spontaneously explain what it means to you. It's always fascinating to see which scripture the Holy Spirit has for each of us, because He knows the need of each woman there! One need was met early on: laughter! Proverbs 15:15b (NIV) says,

...the cheerful heart has a continual feast.

I couldn't stay for the entire evening because Kathy Potts, who leads one of the monthly widows' groups I attend, had invited me to the Christian bikers' clubs' monthly outreach event at the Farmer Boys restaurant not far from my house. The clubs host the event, and open it to bikers from everywhere as an evangelistic outreach.

Kathy's adopted teenage son Daniel, once in a band, was the featured drum soloist for the evening, playing even the most complicated rock beats to popular Christian tunes.Nothing unusual about a talented young man entertaining a crowd--my son Kriss plays his drums still, after a stellar career in high school marching band, and drumming for his own bands. But you'll see Daniel's uniqueness below.

Daniel was born without arms! His adopted parents and older siblings taught him to do life without arms, much as Nick Vujicic, who has neither arms nor legs, was taught to make his way in life. He became head of an international evangelical ministry, "Life without Limits," with a 5 minute devotional heard on radio stations throughout the world. I have seen Nick at the Harvest Crusade, using his testimony to give a stirring challenge to thousands to drop their sin and excuses, come forward and be born again. 

Daniel played for two hours, with only small breaks to drink water. His mom Kathy told me, "His abs are like steel from leaning back and holding his legs up that long!" And Daniel plays well. He's been contacted by bands  looking for drummers to play the clubs in LA. But that's not his kind of scene, his mom remarked.In fact, the tip jar he had in front of his drum set had a believer's purpose--to help raise money to attend a youth retreat later this month.

So, what are the essentials for evangelism? Nice clothes? You should have seen the bikers in their gaudy black vests, graying braided hair and tattoos! Hear Jesus' comment about the expectations the Jews of His day had for the forerunner of the Messiah, Matthew 11:8-9:

But what did you go out to see? A man clothed in soft garments? Indeed, those who wear soft clothing are in kings' palaces. But what did you go out to see? A prophet? Yes, I say to you, and more than a prophet.

Mark 1:6 tells us that John the Baptist wore camel's hair shirts, a leather belt, and ate locusts and wild honey! Yet his ministry became so famous, so truthful and so convicting that all of Judea, including Pharisees and Roman soldiers, came to the Jordan River to be baptized by him. Ultimately, John was beheaded by King Herod for telling too much truth!

Does a Christian need to spare no expense or time to minister grace and encouragement to a fellow believer? I don't think I spent more that an hour from leaving to returning home, taking Emily to see her parents, and traveled perhaps 10 miles round trip. My "works" were hardly noticeable compared with God's plan to bless Debi so abundantly today! Karen blessed a roomful of women today, in a simple but tidy house, with mutually shared, everyday food. That's true koinonia!

Let's look at Romans 10:14-15 for the requirements to be used by God to save souls:

  How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed?and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher?

  And how shall they preach, unless they be sent? as it is written, How beautiful are the feet of them who preach the gospel and bring glad tidings of good things!

I don't see anything mandatory there about arms, legs, hands, lovely clothing, mansions, or long distance travel, do you?

Let us do what is at hand and do it faithfully. This is not only the best way to reach others, but our simple daily efforts, performed prayerfully, are well pleasing to God.

     

   

Envy?

5:25 p.m. Today's project was to own up to twinges of jealousy I've felt in the last month or two.

Normally, the Lord has gifted me with the ability to be genuinely happy for others, and I am, because He has saved me to eternal life, blessed me with an incredible family, loyal longtime friends, productive work and Spirit-led ministry. Best of all the gifts of this life, Jesus gave me 31 years of love from a godly husband, my Steve, who passed away January 1 of this year. Our 32nd wedding anniversary is coming up in eleven days.

As a suddenly single person, I've not spent much time--except at first--envying couples in the prime of life, because even though Steve was unwell for the last year and a half of his life, we enjoyed lots of fun together from the time I retired in 2009. The Holy Spirit wordlessly comforted me by reminding me that I had much more to be grateful for, in all honesty, than to be sad about. That is why He is called the Comforter by Jesus in this promise in John 14:25-27:

These things I have spoken to you while being present with you. But the Comforter, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name,  He will teach you all things, and bring to remembrance all things I have said to you. Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Practical matters of settling Steve's estate, Social Security and life insurance; and addressing neglected areas of our property have consumed these 6 months, along with my children and grandchildren living with me here in the house. My oldest son's family, and my older daughter and son-in-law live in neighboring cities. I've formed active daily routines and worked my Mary Kay business successfully, without anxiety about daily provision, safety, or having to do all of the household chores myself. Major repairs have been undertaken by my sons and sons-in-law, for which I thank the Lord.And even the dogs have a new pal in my 15-month-old grandson Clark! Our adorable 3 week-old grandson Desmond is battling back from meningitis and is improving daily, may God be praised!

But we know from I Peter 5:8, that 

our adversary, the devil, walks about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.

And if the devil can cause me to focus on what I don't have rather than on the wonderful things I do have, I will be devoured by envy and bitterness. I would be indulging myself in sad, shocking and ungodly attitudes, not to be named among us as believers!So I do what James recommends in 4:7:

Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

But temptations are always with us in this earthly life, just different temptations beset different people!

Lately, I realize that the temptation to envy now hits me when I see very elderly couples like the Smiths whom I spent time with yesterday, delivering product to the wife Nancy. They bantered, bickered, teased and praised each other with loud, even boisterous voices, much to my delight. The husband whipped out of his wallet honeymoon  pictures of his wife in her 40's style bathing suit, and a picture of himself as a skinny kid in uniform just before the start of World War II. The wife kept saying that he was deaf, but he totally heard everything we said--or if he didn't he just kept on with his line of chatter.I hadn't laughed out loud to that degree since our grandson came down with meningitis last Monday.The Smiths really lifted my spirits.

God bless the elderly couple I saw inching along last Thursday afternoon in the Stater's parking lot in Mentone, holding hands, or probably holding each other up, holding on for dear life. Steve and I held hands whenever we walked together anywhere, from our dating days onward. I felt a twinge of sadness for what would never happen for me again with Steve in this life, but the Holy Spirit reminded me that he is healthy and whole, and the happiest he's ever been, living in heaven now.  And I am happy now, too, in the life He has designed for me. I pray a blessing on those couples I see for setting such a wonderful example to their families and the world at large. That's "Love for a Lifetime," as Dr. James Dobson put it. 

Whenever I am at a momentary loss as to how to think or pray, I rely on the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, to keep my mind and heart in the place of gratitude where God wants me. I'll close with Romans 8:26-28:

...the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings that cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God. 

   And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, and who are the called according to His purpose.

Battling for life in the NICU

8:19 p.m. Today's project is to finally sit down, prompted by the March of Dimes keepsake journal, "Baby," and reflect on the Lord's work in saving my newborn grandson Desmond's life from spinal meningitis.

At 1:10 a.m Monday morning, Heather and Nick called his mom Kathleen to ask what to do about two-week-old Desmond's 102 degree temperature. "Take him to the hospital!" she replied. At 1:45, I awoke to use my bathroom, and sleepily marveled behind my closed door that all the lights were still on upstairs in the rooms next to me, but figured the baby was up nursing, and went back to sleep. I had set a 4 a.m. wake-up alarm so I could drive my other daughter Heidi and her husband Pavel to LAX for their 2nd anniversary flight to Maui, so staying up was not an option.

At 4 o'clock, I went into the hall and peeked into the rooms and the parents and baby were gone. "Maybe they spent the night at Nick's parents' house," I thought. 4 a.m. was no  time to be calling anyone, so I hustled about and got out of the door and on my way to Redlands to pick up Heidi and Pavel. We traveled lightheartedly to the airport, I deposited them, and went on my way home with just a "pit stop" in Bellflower.

Little did I know that Desmond was fighting for his life!

I was most of the way home when a text message from Nick came in about 9:30 a.m., detailing Desmond's near-fatal fever, the painful tests, such as a spinal tap, which their little one had to endure without pain medication, and the prognosis: bacterial spinal meningitis,14 days' minimum in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit--in isolation!. Future complications include deafness and brain damage! However, since they brought the baby in so quickly, he had the best chance for survival. Thank you, Lord!!

We didn't see much of Heather as she and Nick came home to rest Monday afternoon, but he told me later that evening that the two of them had endured 2 and a half hours not seeing Desmond, but hearing him scream from lifesaving medical procedures. Nick and Heather were requesting total privacy at that time. I went over to Nick's parents house just to be together, commiserate, and talk about how we could help. Information was quietly going out to the families.My friend Linda Martinez' prayer chain had been set in motion for Desmond's complete healing.. As I tweeted earlier this week, "Praise God that He has not left us alone in our tribulations! Jesus said, in Hebrews 13:5,

I will never leave you nor forsake you."

It was one of the most difficult things I've ever done, to look at my daughter Heather, a new mom with her baby away from her for the first time in his life, standing at the kitchen counter quietly eating the poached egg and sausage Nick had fixed for her breakfast. You could cut both of our pain and sorrow with a knife. She asked me if I wanted to come see the baby, and of course I said "yes." I went upstairs and cried a little, because the loud sobbing I felt like doing would have upset my daughter and son-in-law. I was devastated, just devastated, horrified and frightened. As Nick's mom and I said, we've both had our full share of childhood mishaps and injuries, but nothing ever happened with our newborns.

Only God could intervene for Desmond, and He did! When I went to see him in the NICU, the visit began with a 3-minute surgical scrub and the donning of a gown.My old Bible study friend Ginger Fero, now a charge nurse, gave me a hug and reassured me that she had placed him in the NICU immediately (not in pediatric ICU) for his further protection. She arranged for the finest neonatal specialist to attend Desmond, knowing who Heather was right away (family resemblance). Christian doctors and nurses are attending him around the clock. And I was delighted to see that his color was regular newborn pink, and the stiffness in his little neck from the disease was loosening. He was nursing and eliminating, moving about as a baby should.On Tuesday, we still didn't know what the repercussions for the future might be, but people were praying.

As Nick asked for prayer on Facebook, a friend from their church set up "Meal Train," one of the websites that help friends organize meal deliveries to hurting families, those in crises of any kind. Nick and Heather's lunches and dinners are delivered to his parents' home, which is much closer to the hospital than mine. That way, Desmond's parents can head back to the hospital conveniently. In what happens to be the most critical week of my Mary Kay business year, the Lord allots time for me to spend an hour each day with Heather and Desmond, and have the privilege of seeing him progress daily.

Desmond hears, responds, looks me straight in the eye, coos, and does all of the normal newborn movements.He nurses vigorously. He turns his head and is even lifting it up to look around. And because of having formula during the night and as a daytime supplement to breastfeeding, he's even filling out, and looks cuter than ever! How hundreds of believers are praising God today!

As a believing nurse explained today, "All the prayers are working, most of us in here are Christians. So keep the prayers coming!" She went through the daily improvement Desmond has shown, and told us of the amazing skill of the doctor who found a way to get the IV into his umbilical cord area, not easy 2 weeks after birth, falling off of the cord, and the closing up of the area. As she left, it occurred to me that prayers not only helped Desmond and his family, but help the nurses and doctors too--giving them wisdom for enacting each part of their role, and not making costly mistakes--the stakes are high for the preemies and babies with life-threatening illnesses! David wrote in Psalm 144:1, 2a

Blessed be the LORD my Rock, 

Who trains my hands for war,

And my fingers for battle--

My lovingkindness and my

  fortress,

My high tower and my deliverer,

My shield and the one in whom I take refuge

It is with godly, God-honoring confidence that I thank the Lord Jesus, Desmond's Deliverer!

Being kept in peace

8:59 p.m. Today's project is to reflect on the way that God has kept me in His perfect Peace while I've been in the eyes of several hurricanes of busyness the past two weeks. Isaiah 26:3 (KJV) says,

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee.

With Summer Bible Study beginning three Thursdays ago, just days before our little Baby Desmond was born, it's been an exhilarating and challenging month. Nothing do I love better than new babies in the family! And I treasure answering God's 33-year call on my life by delving into God's word in preparation for teaching the ladies and disseminating their written lessons. Now we are in the group's 8th year--the fourth year of the Books of Samuel, taking half a book each summer. Becoming absorbed with David's adventure of knowing, obeying and trusting God, while learning about what is in our own hearts, never gets old. We studied Colossians, 2 years of Ephesians, and Galatians previously. I believe the Lord is leading me back to the New Testament for 2014, should He tarry!

I jokingly said to my son-in-law and daughter (Desmond's parents) a few days ago, "I'm looking forward to a week where I don't lose a day (of study)!" Last week, Wednesday was lost due to a drive to LAX and an afternoon of migraine illness; this week, Monday was a travel day back from Chicago, where my youngest son Steven and I had a wonderful time with his national bodybuilding competition, worshiping at the fledgling Real Church plant, and touring that amazing town.

But the Anchor of my soul, Jesus, has been in the midst, easing every step of the way, and allowing our family's lives to mesh, move, and be met at every turn by His loving Presence. The momentum of my Mary Kay business is speeding up also. What a joy it is to help meet women's needs for high quality products and the opportunity to have rewarding businesses of their own!

One development that has not been positive is the difficulties my 86-year-old dad has been struggling with lately. He does not remember which day or time I tell him I'm coming to do his weekly shopping, so becomes irate when I call to say I'm on my way. "It's people like you," he'll say, "that can't be trusted to show up when they say they will!" I just tell him the day and time we had agreed upon, and calmly say, "I'll be there between 12:30 and 1 p.m." Sometime he has he energy to come  with me, and then prefers to sit in the car. Other times, he'll painstakingly walk into the tobacco shop to get his chew. Until recently, his house has been at his standard of cleanliness. But about three weeks ago,  I noticed black water coming up the kitchen sink drain. I purchased two kinds of strong drain cleaners, but have returned each week to see the ooze now up to the brim of the deep sink, and a skin forming over the top. (And the bottles unopened, not even taken out of the bag).Repeated urgings to call his septic man or plumber have gone unheeded; if a plumber he didn't call showed up at the door, Daddy wouldn't let him in most likely. So please join our family and friends in prayer--as of last Friday, he did have plans to call a plumber, but got sick, little wonder.  Again, I need to trust the Lord, act prudently and respectfully, and not project dread into the future! Always remember, and don't repeat, Job's sad statement and outlook,Chapter 3:25:

The thing which I greatly feared has come upon me, and that which I was afraid of has come unto me.

A great help in staying calm and trusting God, and above all, LETTING GO of responsibility for the future of my family and the world around me, has been my Jesus Calling devotional. Using scriptures, the author and former missionary Sarah Young is able to project Jesus' tenderness and loving care for His children. This book helps me realize that the petty perfections I assign myself do not reflect His outlook towards me at all! I am able to really internalize the words of Jeremiah 31:3, 

I have loved you with an everlasting love.

Using Psalm 5:11, "Let all that put their trust in Thee rejoice;" Ephesians 3:20, "He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we are able to ask or think;" Jude 24," To Him who is able to keep you from falling;" and Joshua 1:5b, "I will not fail you nor forsake you," here is a portion of June 19th's message:

"I am with you continually, so don't be intimidated by fear. Though it stalks you, it cannot harm you, as long as you cling to My hand. Keep your eyes on Me, enjoying Peace in My Presence." 

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee.

 

The value of half an hour

3:48 p.m. Today's project was to leave my house at 4 a.m., for a 6:50 flight to Chicago, where I am now sharing a hotel room with my youngest son Steven preparatory to his competition in the Jr. Nationals bodybuilding competition. He's tanned, rested and ready, or at least only has one more professional tanning session to go, later this afternoon. I feel quite energetic, because it's not even 2:00 in California! We'll see how and when the lack of sleep catches up with me!

I have always loved Psalm 31:15, "My times are in Your hand." As well as Psalm 90:12, "Teach us to number our days, that we may attain a heart of wisdom." Lately, the Lord has been waking me up 30 minutes before my cell phone alarm was set. And I mean wide awake, ready to get up. And as my morning devotions and tasks have proceeded, I've been so grateful for that extra time. The extra time Wednesday allowed me to leave on time with no stress while taking Steven to LAX for his flight. After spending a horrific afternoon violently ill with a migraine Wednesday, I woke half an hour early Thursday to finish my Bible study on II Samuel 14 for my 10:00 morning teaching. The timing was just right for what The Lord had me write.

By taking an extra half hour with my dad in Redlands before getting my Jeep detailed and cleaned out from my vomiting attack, I had the privilege of fellowshiping with two Christians in the waiting room of the Foamy Car Wash. One is the president and founder of a small Christian seminary, designing a missions course based on the Book of Acts; the other was a Christian attorney who wants to educate future pastors and church leaders. God's timing is like no other--and remember, He exists outside of time!

Earlier that morning, my daughter-in-law had volunteered to locate my missing luggage. In case it wasn't on the premises, I had borrowed a rolling case from the hostess of  Thursday Bible study in Moreno Valley. As I headed out through the Canyon on my way home from Redlands, about to travel through Mo Val, I thought, "Maybe I should see if Marisela found the suitcase." Lo and behold, there was a text from her that she'd found both suitcases, before I could even call! (And could I pick up some diapers for grandboy Clark?) No problem, returned the case, and stopped by Target in the same part of town!

Does God care about our mileage, our daily errands? Yes, He does, especially when taking time to care for an elderly parent, share a good word and scripture with brothers in Christ, and help provide necessities for our families. The wonderful part of being a Christian is knowing that Jesus is with me, whether in sickness or health,  in seasons of busyness and rest. the Holy Spirit makes Himself so powerfully evident as I go through every hour seeking Jesus and trusting Him. Psalm 138:8 assures each believer, each of God's precious children,

The LORD will perfect that which concerns me.

And Psalm 37:18a and 23

The Lord knows the days of the upright...the steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD, and He delights in his way.

Thank  you, Lord that You are thinking of us today, with pure love, and only the best in mind for our growth, sanctification, and preparation for eternal life with You!

Travail Part I

10:21 p.m. Today's project was to visit, hold and rock my newest grandson Desmond Amos Love. After a family record-breaking 23 hours of labor, my daughter Heather delivered this bundle of blessing yesterday afternoon. Today, I welcomed her into the rather large sorority of women who have given birth.

Ever since we got the news yesterday afternoon, I've been on pins and needles to go see the little one, but his dad Nick was guarding the rest his wife needed.We took turns rocking Desmond over at Nick's parents' home because the two story house we live in would be too strenuous for Heather to walk up and downstairs for a day or two. Makes sense--during a two or three day hospital stay, new mothers don't climb stairs!

"Travail," or labor, is used many times in both the Old and New Testaments to describe tumultuous or tortuous processes in the lives of people and nations. Jeremiah 6:24, prophesying  of the people "from the north country", descending upon Jerusalem to destroy it, says (all quotes KJV):

We have heard the report of it; 
Our hands grow feeble. 
Anguish has taken hold of us, 
Pain as of a woman in travail.

Micah prophesied the coming fall of Israel in similar terms, Chapter 4:10:

Be in pain, and travail to bring forth,
O daughter of Zion,
Like a woman with birth pangs.

I Thessalonians 5:2-3 speaks of the end of the age and the Second Coming of Christ:

For you yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord comes as a thief in the night. For when they say, "Peace and safety!" then sudden destruction comes upon them as travail upon a woman with child.

In the verse I clung to during my lengthy deliveries, John 16:21, Jesus compares the agony and the wonderful result of labor to the sorrow that will one day be replaced with joy in the lives of His followers.

A woman, when she is in travail, has sorrow because her hour has come; but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish for joy that a man has been born into the world.

I'll close with His words of astounding comfort to the disciples, verse 22:

Therefore you now have sorrow (at His leaving); but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you.

Welcome, Desmond, and COME LORD JESUS!