Two weddings, 4 birthdays, and a baby

2:54 p.m. Today's project is to attend the "Meet Baby Desmond" event at his Grandpa and Grandma Love's home. Much of his paternal family hasn't met him yet. As I've written about ( "Battling for Life in the NICU" June 28, 2013 ) Desmond's harrowing two-week stint at Riverside Community Hospital with Viral Spinal Meningitis at 2 weeks of age put a definite crimp in the meet-and-greet events that naturally follow a baby's birth.How we all praise God that our littlest one was healed and is unscathed! My scripture portion for today included Ephesians 3:20, my faith song for his life, with praise...

To Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly above all we could ask or think.

On Sunday, most of our family--Kruckenberg side--attended the wedding of our niece Kindra to Giancarlo Gladish (directly above) an elegant affair at the San Diego Museum of Art, followed by a reception dinner in a restaurant on Coronado Island.   Thursday, my daughter Heidi and I attended the very intimate, Christ-centered wedding of my sister's daughter Destiny to Daniel Fingleton, on a cliff in La Jolla, overlooking the Pacific ocean on a gorgeous day, with a marvelous catered dinner, attended by her children from her first marriage, Garrett and Ashley. It very much reminded me of Steve's and my wedding, because my oldest son Sean was 5 years old at the time, and because a strong Gospel message was preached at Harvest on July 11, 1981.  The wonderfully fun part of this wedding was getting to visit with the many Fingleton relatives who flew in from Ireland to be with the newlyweds! Psalm 133:1 was very much exemplified:

Behold how good and how pleasant it is, for the brethren to dwell together in unity!

On to the other manifestation of God's creative goodness in our lives, birthdays! While Jesus was a prominent wedding guest in the Gospel of John Chapter 2, we have no evidence of His celebrating His birthday as we do. (Of course, the angelic hosts over Bethlehem staged an eternally unforgettable, not-to- be-repeated, celebration of Jesus' birth, enough said)!

This week, the birthdays in my family come one after another in rapid succession: first up was my dad turned 86 August 13th, on which day I took him a Jack in the Box breakfast platter, followed by chocolate Bundt cake and Neapolitan ice cream. On the 14th, our son Kriss enjoyed a day off with his family and was the recipient of an authentic licensed Angels cap, Jarritos sodas, Mothers frosted animal cookies from me, and an incredibly detailed baseball cake from his wife Marisela. They also went to an Angels game last night. 

Yesterday the 16th was my 62nd birthday, on which I was presented with a fabulous tiramisu/chocolate eclair dessert by Marisela, Starbucks card from my son Sean and his wife Pam, and a hand-decorated card from my clever 17-1/2 month old grandson Clark. My daughter Heidi took me to lunch, and Heather and little Desmond joined us, too. Tomorrow's my "baby" Steven's 25th birthday, which he and his friends celebrated with a skydive today. He lived to tell, so that's what matters! 

My sister-in-law Sharon celebrates her birthday on the 20th, and we will all gather here at my house for our "August Birthdays" party next Sunday the 25th. This party started out as a joke, because family members from cooler San Diego and Orange County were invited to roasting Riverside in August for food, fun and air conditioning cranked high! It hasn't stopped with the exception of weddings held that month or close to it where we all saw one another and partied in a different venue.So this house has been a beehive of activity with workmen getting the yards and house in order. Provisions from the obligatory Costco expedition have restocked the freezers and the fridge. Summer dessert prep stars next week! . 

Guess you can tell that I thrive on celebrations!

We believers have so much to celebrate in Christ that words utterly fail to describe. Sweet friendships that only He could have put together, such as I have with our daughter's mother-in-law. Kathleen's birthday card had a note celebrating the fact that our kids met, and now we are friends. I treasure our church's widows' group, whose leader asked me to share what's happened in my life in the last month, after 2nd service tomorrow. I have a community widows' group that meets tomorrow also, and is a huge source of encouragement, tears and laughter included. We truly comfort one another with the comfort that Christ has given us, as II Corinthians 1:3-4 exhorts us to do. 

My children and their spouses provide emotional and practical assistance, Christian fellowship, daily interaction and good ideas. As for the grand kids, what more entertainment, love, and pure acceptance could a person ask for?  .

When I get a little lonely on the inside, wishing I had an "automatic date" for social occasions, fully attentive to me as my husband was; or when I become nervous about growing my business, God reminds me through the wise words of Pastor Alistair Begg, "You take care of God's things, and He'll take care of your things!" Therefore I thank God for the Bible study He has called me to teach, and the research and writing that go into it each week. And I am looking forward to teaching 4th grade in Children's Church on Sundays starting in October!  

Perhaps my Heavenly Father, through the Spirit,  has already given me a theme for tomorrow's sharing: Celebration of Jesus!  

Psalm 45:1-2, 6-7 says,

My heart is overflowing with a good theme;
I recite my composition concerning the King;
my tongue is the pen of a ready writer.
You are fairer than the sons of men;
Grace is poured upon Your lips;
Therefore God has blessed You forever.
                 ...
Your throne, O God, is forever and ever;
A scepter of righteousness is the scepter of Your kingdom.
You love righteousness and hate wickedness;
Therefore God, Your God, has anointed you
With the oil of gladness more than Your companions.

May we be anointed with the oil of gladness, Father God, just like Your son Jesus, in whom we have placed our eternal hopes!

Well remembered: be a Barzillai

7:01 p.m. Today's project was to get back into home life, after my wonderful and rewarding Mary Kay Seminar in Dallas, with church in the morning, and a lovely baby shower in the afternoon. The honoree is the daughter of my prayer partner Monica. The fellowship and entire atmosphere was just full of the Lord. Additionally,  since it took me a while to find the house, I toured Riverside's "green belt" along the Gage Canal, lined with citrus groves, nurseries, horse properties, estates and small farms on my way.

Most of the attendees were old friends from women's ministry and home Bible study groups based at Harvest Christian Fellowship, our church of 22 years. There was much re-acquainting to do, since our family had changed to Calvary Chapel Moreno Valley 10 years ago so my late husband Steve could make more friends in a smaller fellowship. I consider both my "home church!"

As we were filing our luncheon plates, one guest asked me, after ascertaining that she not only knew me from Harvest, but from my school board tenure, whether a newly-elected member had filled my seat, and I said, "No, because I chose not to run for a fourth term back in 2005, because all of my children had graduated. Let new parents step in, was my thinking."

Later I went shopping with my daughter-in-law, at Von's and Trader Joe's. We only had one mishap, when a bottle of organic lemonade fell out of a hole in a bag and broke and spilled on the driveway..

Funny how the topic of school board came up again as I was rinsing down that spill of lemonade. A long-time neighbor came walking by, so I told how odd it was, and she agreed, that a Von's plastic bag would break.  She then said, "You're not still on the school broad, right?" I said no, much the same as I'd said earlier. Lorraine said, "I didn't think I'd seen any of your signs lately. The current group isn't doing much--you are missed!" I laughed and refrained from commenting on the group's actions, saying, "I don't think they have enough budget to do anything!" I've had no problem whatsoever stepping down so that younger parents can step up to office!

During the week, even while in the frenzied, glamour-packed events in Dallas, I'd been pondering my Bible study's last lesson on II Samuel Chapter 19 (I took my written lesson with me, though I didn't have time to work on it much). We had learned about Barzillai, a wealthy older man who supplied exiled King David and his people with provisions when David was escaping his treasonous son Absalom in an earlier chapter. When invited to come live at court with the restored king, Barzillai turned down the offer, saying in verses 34-37 that he no longer had a taste for life in Jerusalem, was too old at 80 to enjoy it, and wanted to return to his home to die and be buried with his fathers. But he requested that his son Chimham go in his place.

Barzillai was gracious in letting another take his place of honor at the king's table, in the king's service.Why? Because he had served honorably, and distinguished himself, and was ready to step aside for another.

I wrote this  lesson almost 30 years ago. Little did I think that Barzillai would be my role model in righteous behavior! No one ever thinks they'll be over 35 one day. Yet here I am, at 62, a widow retired from public service and employment, but still active in Bible teaching ministry; a business owner enjoying my grown kids, their spouses, and my grand kids. Not to mention that when my fingerprints come back from the Moreno Valley Police Department (and Summer Bible study concludes for 2013) I'll be assigned a classroom to teach during 3rd service Children's Church. I cannot wait!!

My I share with you the verses regarding Barzillai that are part of this week's Bible study?

Proverbs 16:31:
The silver-haired head is a crown of glory, if it is found in the way of righteousness.

Philippians 4:11,12:
Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
How well I know those extremes as a widow!

I Timothy 5:9,10:
Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number (congregation), and not unless she has been the wife of one man, well reported for good works: if she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints' feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed every good work.

Titus 2:2-5:
...that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things--that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

And finally, we have the Apostle Paul's valedictory, II Timothy 4:6-8. May we, fellow believers, be able to say this when God calls us home:

For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 

Finally, there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only, but to all who have loved His appearing.

A week of weeks

9:02 p.m. Today's project was to run my little rental car, a Yaris, out past Cal State San Bernardino to help a new consultant conduct two very lucrative Mary Kay parties for her business associates, friends, and family. Her success and the success of my whole team will propel us from Director-in Qualification to Directorship in the next two months. The Lord has literally turned the lights green at this time to make the move upward!

My schedule has been very full and hectic, but at 62, God has given me such strength and energy, even with a bad case of tennis elbow that has limited my writing, except for that which I do for the Bible study I teach on Thursdays. (That's a non-negotiable)! Psalm 92:10b describes my attitude and general being right now:

You have anointed me with fresh oil.

After Bible study on Thursday afternoon, I finally got a cortisone shot in my afflicted right elbow, and it's normal again after two months of suffering that was spreading pain to my left arm, too. However, good news came from orthopedist Dr. Rodriguez, that the x-rays showed no arthritis in either elbow. I was delighted to see that Exam Room 1 was decorated with plaques and pictures with Bible verses, too!

Now, why am I driving a rental car? Thursday afternoon on my way to my meeting through San Timoteo Canyon, I began feeling some hesitation when the Jeep's automatic transmission would shift, especially going up the small hills and down in the curves. But I went on to enjoy the meeting. That evening, while there was still a dusky light, the Jeep got into real trouble, barely making it up the last grade. Oh, how I prayed that I'd at least make it out of the Canyon and onto Redlands Boulevard, where I could stop and easily be assisted by Auto Club! I decided against the freeway route home, so stopping and starting, huffing and puffing on the Jeep's part, I made it to a big intersection, about 4 cars back from the light at Nason & Cottonwood. So, the Jeep would go no further, it was dark, I prayed and remembered to put on the emergency flashers. I contacted AAA, called my mechanic and texted every praying person and family member who came to mind and waited! I refused to think of myself as a victim of a potential crime! Psalm 91:1-2 says,

He who dwells in the secret 
  place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of 
  the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, "He is my
  refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust."

I had a minimum of 30 minutes to wait, and God was faithful. People just pulled up behind me as the light turned red, then as the light turned green, they noticed my emergency flashers. I don't think more than one or two drivers honked their horns, even before I fumblingly thought to start the flashers. And because the neighborhoods all face away from the signal, no naughty kids came out to bug me.  Was I ever glad the Lord didn't allow me to bring any guests to the meeting that afternoon! Texts came in continually with encouragement, and my daughter Heidi called to find out what was happening to me. One girlfriend, Michelle Tindall texted, "I love you, Dana!!! You scared me! You get home! That's an order!!! Lol"

A very nice tow truck driver hooked the Jeep up, and off we went to my house. On the way we talked about the way that even PG-13 movies have gotten so bad, and he's such a conscientious dad that he actually is going to see a movie first to approve it! This opened a door for witnessing, so I told him about the special youth events our church is having on Thursdays, and he was quite interested, because his kids are teenagers. As I rode along in the huge truck with my Jeep behind me, I kept thinking of what a pastor said on the radio earlier in the week: "You take care of God's things, and He'll take care of yours."

My mechanic came over yesterday morning to check things out. So I got the heap--or Jeep--towed out to a highly recommended transmission shop, and I believe I'll see it sometime after I return from our Mary Kay Seminar in Dallas next week. There is no room for worry--God's got me busy with finishing the backyard fence, stocking the pantries and fridge before I leave on a 6:05 a.m. flight on Tuesday, helping my consultants with their orders, and spending time with my grandsons! And I love that the Mary Kay Seminar ends on Saturday at noon--plenty of time to get back home for church from wherever in the US consultants call home!!

Let me close with Psalm 91:14-16, God speaking:

"Because he has set his love upon
  Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he
 has known My name.
He shall call upon Me, and I will
  answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation."

Mighty Widows

7:55 p.m. Today's project was to attend the two widows' support groups I joined shortly after my husband Steve passed away in January. Interestingly enough, both groups meet on the 3rd Sunday of the month.

Calvary Chapel's "Widows' Might" is named after the widow in Luke 21:3, who came to give her offering at the temple. In that day, there was no taxpayer-financed safety net, so unless a widow had sons and or other family to support her, she could become destitute indeed. On this occasion, the wealthy gave large sums into the treasury, but Jesus commended this poor widow for giving two mites (lepta, very small copper coins):

Truly I say to you that this poor widow has put in more than all; for all these out of their abundance have put in offerings for God, but she out of her poverty put in all the livelihood that she had.

At the Widows' Might, after enjoying a beautiful worship time, our leader Roberta focuses us on a scriptural theme or a Psalm, as she shared her learning from Psalm 37-8 today.

Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him; do not fret because of him who prospers in the way, because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass. Cease from anger and forsake wrath; do not fret--it only causes harm. 

Some months, we have a Bible study taught by one of the group. We share prayer requests, our own testimonies of the way the Lord is upholding us through the Word,  His faithfulness through very hard trials, and even the amazing way He may be using us, the majority ladies in their 80's, to witness and reach out to others. As we close in a circle of prayer, we are assured by the Lord that He is with and among us, even if the world might see us as occupying a very disadvantageous position! I don't generally join the others for lunch, because I need to go home, rest a bit, and today, for example, deal with a plumbing problem, before heading out to another wonderful widows/bereavement group, "Mending Hearts: Building a Network of Support."

Mending Hearts meets in the home of Kathy Potts, a widow of five years, and adopted mom of handicapped teens. Most of the ladies, of all ages and stages of loss, attend Palm Canyon Church. I first joined the group on February 10 for a lavish Valentines Day luncheon, only a month after losing Steve. We do very specific sharing and ministry to one another, building strong bonds of love, and end with a potluck meal. On February 24, we put together "Care Packages" in large bins meant to last a crisis-stricken family for a week, until they can get their bearings after a tragedy or loss.

March's topic was "Alphabet Soup" of pertinent healing scriptures and frank discussion. "The Power of Empathy," in April, led to an emotional discussion of the way Jesus empathizes--"Jesus wept," John 11:35--as one of us, with our hurts and sorrows. Hebrews 4:15 says,

For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.  

We shared the empathy we have received and given in our journey of loss. May's topic, "Please Don't Say That!" says it all.What we don't want is quick quips or false hopes. We need to recognize that "we live in a fallen world, and it often falls on us." We want what Jesus told us in John 16:33:

I have told you these things that in Me you might have peace. In this world you will have tribulation. But be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world.

"Peace. With one word Jesus quiets the quest of our soul. We thirst for peace--shalom, wholeness, stillness, rest, healing. Take heart. Hope. Come alive again....If all we do is talk about life's losses, then that too fails to tell the whole story. We need to be able to deal with life's losses in the context of God's healing."

The June 15 meeting (which I missed due to my Chicago trip with son Steven) was a balloon launch in honor of our loved ones who have gone to heaven before us.

Today we discussed, "Don't Let Grief be Contagious." and we discussed this contrast: grief is a wound, not a sickness, and loss isn't contagious. We were asked to color in the emotions that best describe us--today.

I colored in three choices in the "Tangled Ball of Grief," whereas many of the ladies selected several. I first colored "Yearning," because I wish that my "Original Steve" was still with me. But I had to admit "Relief," because of the tormented, anguished, lost, helpless person he became in his last years.Then I had to acknowledge "Loneliness'" because I don't have a certain, intimate, soul mate to do life with any more. That doesn't mean I am not joyful and happy with the life God has designed for me most of the time, it's just a fact. I am now single, not married.

As we talked, some shared their feeling of being lost, others had wise counsel for relating to others who want to know how to talk with you about your loved one. Let them know it's all right to talk about them. One gal found it wonderfully comforting to re-read her sympathy cards, and others concurred. I believe I will do that tonight!

Our lesson ended with Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV):

Do not be anxious for anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Beloved of the Lord, sleep well

10:20 p.m. Today's project was to teach our summer Bible study on II Samuel 17, where David narrowly escapes the army of his traitorous son Absalom, who has seized the throne. As with every week's gathering, we enjoy rich gleanings from the Word of God, and lively discussion. As much as I anticipated sheer enjoyment of our study time,  a major commemoration preoccupied my mind when I arose several hours earlier.

This day, July 11th, would have been my late husband Steve's and my 32nd wedding anniversary. He died 6 months ago in his bed in the assisted living residence where he had lived comfortably and well since September 2012. Despite our grief, my children and grandchildren and I have moved forward, experiencing accomplishments, trials, as well as the mental and emotional adjustments that must be made when the father and husband of the family is just--gone.

Behold, I will do a new thing we are reminded in Isaiah 43:19, and God has made that abundantly clear. Two of my kids, their spouses and little ones are living here now; a new grandson was born on June 9, then took ill with spinal meningitis within two weeks. Desmond is home now, after 2 weeks in the NICU, completely healthy and normal, thanks to the prayers of hundreds of Christians for his healing..

I have set up a trust for  all of Steve's and my estate. The yards and property are now being landscaped and properly fenced; my business is growing rapidly as God is literally bringing the women who want to join me in the effort to become a Sales Unit with me as Director. I'm pictured below with one of my team members.

Steve won't enjoy the earthly rewards, such as travel and career cars, that my business will provide. He was always so supportive, and would be my loudest cheerleader if he were here and in his right mind. But, his sojourn on this earth ended, reminding me of Hebrews 11:8-10:

By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to the place which he would receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he dwelt in the land of promise as in a foreign country, dwelling in tents with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise; for he waited for the city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God.

Steve is now living the promise of eternal life, having gone to be with the Lord Jesus he loves. And while God is anointing my work and ministry, answering prayers, and being the central presence in my life, I have so much to look forward to when my time comes to leave--prayerfully with all other Christians in the Rapture --(I Thessalonians 4:13-18), if God wills it during my lifetime.

God blessed me with a lovely dream the other night! Steve and I were younger, enjoying our time together, including a visit to Harvest Christian Fellowship where we attended for 22 years. All was bright, beautifully decorated, and the worship and fellowship were sweet. What a peace I always wake up with when I dream of Steve! I am living proof that when we honor what God honors, faithful marriage, He has a reward for us:

 ...the peace of God that surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7 

Additionally, God gave me this verse when I awoke after the sweet dream, Psalm 127:2b:

For so He gives His beloved sleep.

Thank You, Lord Jesus!!

Essentials for ministry

8:53 p.m. Today's project was to enjoy sweet fellowship. Midday, I picked up a friend's daughter from the Amtrak train station in Riverside. Emily wanted to surprise her mom by arriving all the way from Germany, where she and her husband are stationed, to help her recuperate from surgery. You should have seen  Emily's parents' faces when they opened the door! Priceless! It's not often that I have the privilege of blessing Debi, who's been there for me so devotedly throughout Steve's illness and since I became a widow this year. As Proverbs 17:17 says,

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

After a few hours at home with my kids, and taking care of a few chores in the yard, I headed off to Perris with a head of iceberg lettuce and my Bible to join Karen Morales and several good friends at her home for her bi-monthly "Ladies Only Fellowship," featuring taco salad and multiple desserts. Upon entering, Karen has us each write the address of a Bible verse on a square of paper, fold it, no name, and drop it into a  jar. Later in the evening, we pick a different one than we brought, look it up, read it to the group, and spontaneously explain what it means to you. It's always fascinating to see which scripture the Holy Spirit has for each of us, because He knows the need of each woman there! One need was met early on: laughter! Proverbs 15:15b (NIV) says,

...the cheerful heart has a continual feast.

I couldn't stay for the entire evening because Kathy Potts, who leads one of the monthly widows' groups I attend, had invited me to the Christian bikers' clubs' monthly outreach event at the Farmer Boys restaurant not far from my house. The clubs host the event, and open it to bikers from everywhere as an evangelistic outreach.

Kathy's adopted teenage son Daniel, once in a band, was the featured drum soloist for the evening, playing even the most complicated rock beats to popular Christian tunes.Nothing unusual about a talented young man entertaining a crowd--my son Kriss plays his drums still, after a stellar career in high school marching band, and drumming for his own bands. But you'll see Daniel's uniqueness below.

Daniel was born without arms! His adopted parents and older siblings taught him to do life without arms, much as Nick Vujicic, who has neither arms nor legs, was taught to make his way in life. He became head of an international evangelical ministry, "Life without Limits," with a 5 minute devotional heard on radio stations throughout the world. I have seen Nick at the Harvest Crusade, using his testimony to give a stirring challenge to thousands to drop their sin and excuses, come forward and be born again. 

Daniel played for two hours, with only small breaks to drink water. His mom Kathy told me, "His abs are like steel from leaning back and holding his legs up that long!" And Daniel plays well. He's been contacted by bands  looking for drummers to play the clubs in LA. But that's not his kind of scene, his mom remarked.In fact, the tip jar he had in front of his drum set had a believer's purpose--to help raise money to attend a youth retreat later this month.

So, what are the essentials for evangelism? Nice clothes? You should have seen the bikers in their gaudy black vests, graying braided hair and tattoos! Hear Jesus' comment about the expectations the Jews of His day had for the forerunner of the Messiah, Matthew 11:8-9:

But what did you go out to see? A man clothed in soft garments? Indeed, those who wear soft clothing are in kings' palaces. But what did you go out to see? A prophet? Yes, I say to you, and more than a prophet.

Mark 1:6 tells us that John the Baptist wore camel's hair shirts, a leather belt, and ate locusts and wild honey! Yet his ministry became so famous, so truthful and so convicting that all of Judea, including Pharisees and Roman soldiers, came to the Jordan River to be baptized by him. Ultimately, John was beheaded by King Herod for telling too much truth!

Does a Christian need to spare no expense or time to minister grace and encouragement to a fellow believer? I don't think I spent more that an hour from leaving to returning home, taking Emily to see her parents, and traveled perhaps 10 miles round trip. My "works" were hardly noticeable compared with God's plan to bless Debi so abundantly today! Karen blessed a roomful of women today, in a simple but tidy house, with mutually shared, everyday food. That's true koinonia!

Let's look at Romans 10:14-15 for the requirements to be used by God to save souls:

  How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed?and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher?

  And how shall they preach, unless they be sent? as it is written, How beautiful are the feet of them who preach the gospel and bring glad tidings of good things!

I don't see anything mandatory there about arms, legs, hands, lovely clothing, mansions, or long distance travel, do you?

Let us do what is at hand and do it faithfully. This is not only the best way to reach others, but our simple daily efforts, performed prayerfully, are well pleasing to God.

     

   

Envy?

5:25 p.m. Today's project was to own up to twinges of jealousy I've felt in the last month or two.

Normally, the Lord has gifted me with the ability to be genuinely happy for others, and I am, because He has saved me to eternal life, blessed me with an incredible family, loyal longtime friends, productive work and Spirit-led ministry. Best of all the gifts of this life, Jesus gave me 31 years of love from a godly husband, my Steve, who passed away January 1 of this year. Our 32nd wedding anniversary is coming up in eleven days.

As a suddenly single person, I've not spent much time--except at first--envying couples in the prime of life, because even though Steve was unwell for the last year and a half of his life, we enjoyed lots of fun together from the time I retired in 2009. The Holy Spirit wordlessly comforted me by reminding me that I had much more to be grateful for, in all honesty, than to be sad about. That is why He is called the Comforter by Jesus in this promise in John 14:25-27:

These things I have spoken to you while being present with you. But the Comforter, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name,  He will teach you all things, and bring to remembrance all things I have said to you. Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

Practical matters of settling Steve's estate, Social Security and life insurance; and addressing neglected areas of our property have consumed these 6 months, along with my children and grandchildren living with me here in the house. My oldest son's family, and my older daughter and son-in-law live in neighboring cities. I've formed active daily routines and worked my Mary Kay business successfully, without anxiety about daily provision, safety, or having to do all of the household chores myself. Major repairs have been undertaken by my sons and sons-in-law, for which I thank the Lord.And even the dogs have a new pal in my 15-month-old grandson Clark! Our adorable 3 week-old grandson Desmond is battling back from meningitis and is improving daily, may God be praised!

But we know from I Peter 5:8, that 

our adversary, the devil, walks about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.

And if the devil can cause me to focus on what I don't have rather than on the wonderful things I do have, I will be devoured by envy and bitterness. I would be indulging myself in sad, shocking and ungodly attitudes, not to be named among us as believers!So I do what James recommends in 4:7:

Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

But temptations are always with us in this earthly life, just different temptations beset different people!

Lately, I realize that the temptation to envy now hits me when I see very elderly couples like the Smiths whom I spent time with yesterday, delivering product to the wife Nancy. They bantered, bickered, teased and praised each other with loud, even boisterous voices, much to my delight. The husband whipped out of his wallet honeymoon  pictures of his wife in her 40's style bathing suit, and a picture of himself as a skinny kid in uniform just before the start of World War II. The wife kept saying that he was deaf, but he totally heard everything we said--or if he didn't he just kept on with his line of chatter.I hadn't laughed out loud to that degree since our grandson came down with meningitis last Monday.The Smiths really lifted my spirits.

God bless the elderly couple I saw inching along last Thursday afternoon in the Stater's parking lot in Mentone, holding hands, or probably holding each other up, holding on for dear life. Steve and I held hands whenever we walked together anywhere, from our dating days onward. I felt a twinge of sadness for what would never happen for me again with Steve in this life, but the Holy Spirit reminded me that he is healthy and whole, and the happiest he's ever been, living in heaven now.  And I am happy now, too, in the life He has designed for me. I pray a blessing on those couples I see for setting such a wonderful example to their families and the world at large. That's "Love for a Lifetime," as Dr. James Dobson put it. 

Whenever I am at a momentary loss as to how to think or pray, I rely on the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, to keep my mind and heart in the place of gratitude where God wants me. I'll close with Romans 8:26-28:

...the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings that cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God. 

   And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, and who are the called according to His purpose.