1:28 p.m. Today's project was to wrap up another morning of errands (including another bank run) with nice deli sandwiches from Vons, hot meatball for me, a layered turkey and fixin's for Steve. I called him ahead to let him know I was bringing lunch, so he could come in from working on the RV's batteries, wash his hands and be ready. He wouldn't need to make his usual sandwich, either. It has been taking longer and longer for Steve to transition from activity to activity lately, so I give him plenty of advance notice.
When I arrived 5 or 6 minutes later, Steve was nowhere to be found, front or backyard, and my loud voice calling him got no response! I ran upstairs and found him all dressed up to go out, which would not be happening until his optometrist appointment 2 - 1/2 hours later(and which I had not mentioned at all).
The sandwiches had been forgotten. I put the few other groceries away, prayed for the food, and asked Steve what was going on, with worry and frustration in my voice. [I am praying and working on being more mellow during these events!] He had no clue as to his changing clothes--the 3rd clothing change of the day by 12:00--and he thought I called to tell him to get ready to go out, instead of getting ready to eat.
There doesn't appear to me at this time to be a more effective way to convey information to Steve than in the calm, clear, factual tones I use. God knows the best way to reach Steve in the stage his mind is in, since He knows all of our thoughts before we even think them (Psalm 139), no matter how convoluted a person's brainwaves may be! I will be waiting on the voice of the Lord to correct and redirect me in this area, as He does for my actions too many times a day to count, praise His Name! Glad God never runs out of patience!!
I have read of a concern with communicating with a person with Alzheimer's: interaction will become more limited, and less conversational. Because of the bad wiring of the recipient of information (the Alzheimer's person), and the potential feeling of pointlessness on the speaker's part, the Alzheimer's person gets too discouraged to try. It's just easier, sadly, for both parties, to stop the frustrating struggle...that happens all too often.
Right now, Steve is holding fairly good surface-level social conversations wherever we go, and he receives plenty of encouragement. [At a much more advanced stage, four years ahead, on the other hand, Steve's brother rarely speaks]. It's the needful and important conversation at home, critical for both of our safety and well being, that is tougher for Steve to process, because assent and action are required, if, for instance, we need to get ready to go somewhere, or eat a meal. And that is where I come in, as Steve's life partner and helper. Love and the Lord's guidance are sorely needed every moment! How I need God to keep me faithful and able!!
A very important thought came up yesterday as Patty and I talked about our family's current state of affairs, and that was regarding MY safety! I hadn't begun praying about this until I cut my finger on glass a week and a half ago. Steve became flustered looking for the place we keep the bandaids, not following which cabinet I was pointing to. When he finally found them, he fumbled about and couldn't open the wrapping! I was bleeding pretty freely...praise God my oldest son Sean came in at that moment and speedily put the bandaid on tightly, stopping the bleeding!
I'm generally healthy, but any one of us can fall, have a stroke or heart attack, or even faint. Patty asked, "What if Steve doesn't even think to call 911?" We agreed that I need one of those Freedom Alert systems to hang around my neck, because I would have no help at home at all, plus a panicked person to reassure if I'm even conscious to do so. On the other hand, I know CPR and emergency procedures from my teacher training, so Steve would have some chance of being helped if the emergency happened to him.
I did consider that God could keep me from having an emergency, or send someone in the nick of time if I did; my God is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we could ask or think." (Ephesians 3:20) However, God is also able to give warnings to the wise, and and when warned, the prudent take action. Proverbs 22:3 says, "A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself, but the simple pass on and are punished."
The only place I plan to hide myself is in the loving arms of my all-knowing, infinitely caring Father , because as Colossians 3:3 expresses it, "my life is hidden with Christ in God."
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