Much-needed time

10:12 p.m. Today's project was to enjoy the annual August Party gathering which turned out to be the biggest one we've had. My nephew Brady and his girlfriend Jessica arrived two hours early, and enjoyed the privilege of uninterrrupted time to talk sports with our youngest son Steven, down from Fresno for the weekend. They also got first dibs on the grapefruit lemonade and tomatillo salsa! My dad arrived not too long after. Meanwhile, I finished my final cleaning of the downstairs, and went up to our room to shower and change.

By 2:00, most of our family had arrived from Orange and San Diego counties. Amazingly, when Heidi and Pavel arrived at 2:30 after teaching 5th & 6th grade class for third service, everyone was here and the jumphouse was in full squealing mode with about 5 youngsters aboard. Steven regaled everyone in the kitchen with his ministry and coaching stories, and good talk and eats kept everyone occupied.

One very special guest came in, to whom I gave a very long hug--in fact we clung to one another. It was my sister-in-law Michaele, whose husband Larry, Steve's brother, is in residential care with advanced Alzheimer's. "I have missed you so much!" I cried out. She had ridden with her son Chad, his wife and little ones. This is one person who knows what I'm going through all too well.

We went out to the garden with my daughter Heather to visit, and very quickly began comparing notes about the stages our husbands are in. They both have the disease, but Larry is 3 years ahead of Steve and is unable even to attend church because Michaele can no longer fully manage his movements. My Steve, on the other hand, is all too active in the sense of constantly finding something to do, which is good and keeps him active and fit. But he takes off on projects that make no sense and also cause minor destruction to our property when I'm out of the house for a time, or even just downstairs. We even can quote one another's exasperated remarks when confusion causes unpleasant or costly difficulties. It sure is good to have a sister in the battle with me. I'd forgotten how good it feels to be with someone who's "been there." All of my friends and those with whom I minister have much comfort and love to offer, but they have no idea of the confusion and frustration I experience daily with an Alzheimers' mate.

"Early onset" Alzheimers does not make for the same life experience as the typical very elderly victim has. To be stopped in the prime of life with dementia and physical breakdown caused by a faulty brain is just devastating--there is no other word I can use for the sense of failure Steve feels for being unable to work, unable to carry out more than one instruction at a time, not knowing what day it is, or what we are planning for next few minutes, hour, day or week. Imagine no longer driving! or losing the ability to speak clearly, write, or in Steve's case, hear because of the slowness of processing sounds in his brain. At 53, not 93.

Michaele and my dicussions in the garden and in the kitchen where we prepared the fried green tomatoes, just-picked corn on the cob and set out the go-withs for the hamburgers, hot dogs and hotlinks, exemplified II Corinthians 1:3-4:

Blessed be the God and Father or our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we are comforted by God.

Later in the evening, we who were still in the house remarked how happy Michaele was keeping busy with me in the kitchen, just cooking her heart out for the crowd. "The kitchen is where she's happiest," I said. "Andthink about it: she no longer has a husband to cook for at home."

She and I will need to spend more time together!