Banking sadness

3:49 Today's project was to focus on and enjoy a wonderful worship service and fellowship with good friends.

Yet last night, my heart was inconsolably broken over something that hasn't even happened! After watching a Christian-oriented show on GMC (Gospel Music Channel) to soothe my nerves, I posed this question on Facebook:

"Is being sad in advance of something you think might happen an idiotic waste of time, or are you preparing your mind to grasp an eventuality?"

My son Kriss wrote:

"It's natural. It's emotional 'brainstorming.'

My friend Gloria wrote:

"Could we call it, 'In Preparation of Grief?' "

Both made valid points--our minds do like to "get out in front" of potential tragedies, a quality which makes parents babyproof their homes and municipalities pass building codes. But we all know that tragedies still happen and hit us with blunt force when they do. So does concentrating on what we'll do when a personally sorrowful moment comes make it any less sorrowful? Should we "bank" sadness for the future, because certain eventualites are pretty likely, such as the deterioration of Steve's mind caused by Alzheimer's? He is in midstage now, and there have been distinct difficulties that just appeared this year. Other than making prudent financial, legal and care arrangements, am I serving myself well, or honoring God, by creating mental scenarios and focusing on the impending sadness his increasing confusion and eventual physical disabilities will bring? In Matthew 6:34, Jesus said,

Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. And in verse 27, He asked,

Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

I'll add, "Dana, can you reverse the course of an incurable disease by worrying?" By keeping up with research, and utilizing the findings, meds and natural supplements as I currently do for Steve's benefit, I can definitely help maintain his cognitive function for now. But no, I cannot reverse his disease--no person can, as of April 10, 2011!

So if reversing Alzheimer's is the goal, worrying is definitely an idiotic waste of time! However, praying for Steve, for myself, caring for one another, and calling upon family and friends for assistance actually are effective actions. Prayer is the ultimate resource I have--keeping access to my Heavenly Father as my first action, my first resort, the only path to peace and healing of my soul and spirit!

In church this morning, we sang a wonderful praise song about God's almighty power and trusting in Him that spoke powerfully to me. It lifted my eyes to Him, my source, my Redeemer. One of my all-time favorite worship songs quotes Psalm 123:1-2:

Unto You I lift up my eyes,

O You who dwell in the heavens.

Another favorite comes from Psalm 121:1-2 :

I will lift up my eyes to the hills--

From whence comes my help?

My help comes from the LORD,

Who made heaven and earth.

The One Who made heaven and earth can make a way--a joyful way--for me!