Burnout

4:48 p.m. Today's project was to attend the last class of the Alzheimer/dementia caregivers' support group presented by the Riverside County Office of Aging. This was the first series undertaken and it was a great success in my opinion.







I definitely did not want to miss this class, because the topic was "Caregiver Burnout: Learn Signs, Symptoms and Prevention Techniques." While I generally feel at peace and joyful as a believer, there are definitely an increasing number of stressful incidents with Steve as his cognition and emotions deteriorate. So I need this class as much as the woman who is changing her husband's diapers or the one whose ninety-year-old mother screamed at her, "I want my daughter!" (They share the same home).

"Forewarned is forearmed," my dad used to say, and Proverbs has many adjurations toward prudent planning:

• the prudent man looks well to his going (14:15)


• the prudent are crowned with knowledge (14:18)


• the heart of the prudent gets knowledge (18:15)


• a prudent man foresees the evil (22:3)

One key piece of information we received was the definition of Burnout:

Burnout is a "most of the time"state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged (chronic) stress. Burnout can take place on a job, at home with a family to raise, or as a 24-hour-a-day caregiver to a disabled person. What can cause this condition? Among other things, feeling little or no control; working too much without time to relax/socialize; trying to be too many things to too many people; too many responsibilities/ not enough help; not enough sleep; lack of close, supportive relationships; perfectionistic tendencies (can't delegate); pessimistic view of yourself and the world.

As a mother of five, if I hadn't known the Lord and if I had lacked a strong family, church family and many loyal friends, I could see postpartum depression and burnout happening. Remember Andrea Yates who drowned her 5 children? Burnout is real!

Emotional signs of burnout are: feeling helpless, trapped and defeated, alone, and unmotivated, with decreased satisfaction or sense of accomplishment. We all want to feel that the Lord put us here for a purpose (which He did) and that what we do for others matters (which it does). Here's where you and I come in for an overworked caregiver: make sure to affirm the good job they are doing with their loved one's care. Tell them you are praying for them, and then PRAY!

Proverbs 25:11: A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

Behavioral symptoms of burnout to look for in a friend or family caregiver are: withdrawal from responsibilities; isolating oneself; using food, drugs or alcohol to cope; taking out frustrations on others. The presentation states that a person may be on the road to burnout if:

1. Every day is a bad day


2. Caring about work/home seems like a total waste of energy


3. You're exhausted all the time


4. Most daily tasks seem mind-numbingly dull or overwhelming


5. You feel like nothing you do makes a difference or is noticed by others


6. You feel "all dried up,"


7. You feel that nothing will ever change

For the believer, if you reach this point, it is critical to get help immediately from godly counselors and your pastor. They can assign a "helps team" to visit and alleviate some of your burden at least temporarily, even giving you some respite, until family members can be called to accountability in assisting the main caregiver.

Don't be too proud to ask for help, because "pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall"(Proverbs 16:18). Your life is what we are talking about here! If you die, then who will care for your loved one? Did you know that 51% of caregivers die before their love one with dementia? I was shocked to hear that statistic! And I have made a strong, daily commitment to exercise as a result.

Also, agencies exist, that you have paid for with your taxes, to assist with placement of in-home help, like what I pay for through insurance for Steve a few times a week for Bible study and conducting my Mary Kay business. Riverside County Office of Aging provides respite services that can give you a day or a weekend off to rejuvenate. Or you may need help to find a placement for your loved one if their needs are too far advanced in the medical realm for you to manage alone or even with other family members.

If this post is speaking to you, whether you are an overwhelmed mom or an overwhelmed senior citizen caregiver, live in our community or in another state, please contact me and I will help you! May we be there for one another, nurturing and caring for one another, until the Lord calls us home!