May not see a sign

3:45 p.m. Today's project was to head off to Anaheim Hills for what I optimistically was calling a Mary Kay "party." I say "optimistically" because the hostess said it might just be her, and possibly her mother, in attendance. I told her that was fine, and we'd have fun with her facial anyway.

In the morning, I was feeling rather down, even though Steve had a good start to his day and got on the bus in a cheerful mood. It was just me having doubts about the rate of growth of my team, and foolishly comparing myself to others who have experienced their own ups and downs. Actually,       II Corinthians 10:12 warns us about comparing ourselves to others and wise counsel it is!! I am thrilled by my fellow consultants' successes, and try to assist in any way I can, because I know experientially that God will do His supremely individual work in my life, in His timing. It just would have been nice to see a little evidence and have some confidence that I was going to have an excellent day...

After I finished my scripture readings and prayer journalling, I logged onto my Gmail account, mostly deleting less critical items, while my scrambled eggs reheated.  I came across the daily online devotion by Mike MacIntosh of Horizon Christian Fellowship in San Diego, formerly Calvary Chapel of San Diego, a massive church that does outreach worldwide. When Steve could still focus his eyes and be seated at the computer, he used to read these messages and the supporting scriptures, which would give me the opportunity to have my own quiet time. Then caregivers had to read it to him while he sat. (One of our caregivers prayed with me to receive Christ after being in God's word daily, NOT coincidentally)! But now, they read to him out of a devotional book while he eats,  because changing seats from the computer to the kitchen table makes for one  too many confusing actions to undertake.

The title of today's message was "God will be your answer." That caught my attention right away! The scripture was Mark 8:11-12:

Then the Pharisees came out and began to dispute with Him, seeking from Him a sign from heaven, testing Him. But He sighed deeply in His spirit, and said, "Why does this generation seek a sign? Assuredly, I say to you, no sign shall be given to this generation."

MacIntosh goes on to suggest ways that we perhaps make Jesus sigh with hurt over us, such as being hard-hearted and insensitive. I would add to that list, when we are unbelieving. This is not the unbelief of the Pharisees then or the unbelievers today who adamantly oppose Jesus' claim to be the Son of God. This is the unbelief that Christians like you and me can slip into. We truly do expect God to do what He has promised--such as His promise that He is in this business for me. But when all the lights aren't green, we get a little quavery, if that's a word. And when doors we just knew were going to open, shut in our faces instead, we panic for a while until we pray and get our Holy Ghost equilibrium back. When we make God our answer, He is then free to work miraculously in our personal lives and business affairs!

I arrived at my hostess's home, a very lovely one, in good spirits because she'd told me that in addition to her, she would have her mom and a friend there. All three ladies, Romanians, are very strong Christians, so the fellowship was sweet. The hostess said she especially liked knowing of Mary Kay Ash's Christian testimony and the Golden Rule that the company was formed on, which is still corporate policy today. The company's motto, "God first, family second, and career third," also resonated with the ladies. The party was very successful, and a follow-up session is planned.

Father, I pray you would grant me a fresh filling of Your Spirit, that I may trust you more and more! In Jesus' name, Amen.