8:14 p.m. Today's project was to attend Sunday morning church service.
This has been my weekly way of life for the past 32 years, but for 31 of those years, I've attended with my husband Steve. We always held hands from vehicle to sanctuary, as well as we could with babies and little children through the years, but our default position when walking anywhere together has been, and still is, hand-in-hand.
Attending separate church services is a real shock also. We began as friends at a Home Bible Study out of Calvary Chapel Riverside (Harvest Christian Fellowship) in 1980, and were married there a year and a half later. We continued at Harvest as a family for the next 22 years. Steve was the kind of father who made sure we never missed church except for illness. Even when we went on vacation, we'd find a Calvary Chapel at our destination if possible! For extended illnesses, like chicken pox, he'd even stay home, alternating with me to care for the sick child. Infant care was my bailiwick of course, because I'd nurse each baby for at least a year.
Today, it was a different world. While I sat with Heidi and Pavel at Calvary Chapel Moreno Valley, Steve enjoyed a morning service and a worship team at Raincross. I imagine it would have been reminiscent of the Bible study where we met, and several ones we've attended since--a relatively small group, comfortable.
Communion Sunday--where was my partner, the one whose cup I had to drain almost empty to prevent him spilling it? And whose cup I had to hold along with my own, while also passing the tray? The observance certainly went more smoothly for me, being able to worship fully, focused on God, and then tears did slip down. How grateful I am to know Christ, to be born again! The seraphim in Isaiah 6:3 express the realization of why God is to be worshiped:
Holy, holy, holy, is the LORD of
hosts;
The whole earth is full of His
glory!
As I reflected on my totally changed life while singing, I thought,"Should I be lifting my hands in joy, loving to sing, even smiling? My Steve is in a care home, and I'm a virtual widow!" But the Lord showed me, and I prayed back to Him, "My life has totally changed, and me with it, but God, You have not changed one iota from last Sunday to today! And I will praise You openly and excitedly, with all my heart today, because,
YOU ARE GOD.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
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When can you visit Steve? Do they not want you to go there until he gets adjusted?
ReplyDeletePraying, dear one.
Hi Carol, I visit him every day for about 30 minutes, and am finding him to be cheerful and busy in the activity or meal of the moment. He's been asking to see our dog, and they do allow pet visits.
ReplyDeleteXOXOXO