8:14 p.m. Today's project was to attend Sunday morning church service.
This has been my weekly way of life for the past 32 years, but for 31 of those years, I've attended with my husband Steve. We always held hands from vehicle to sanctuary, as well as we could with babies and little children through the years, but our default position when walking anywhere together has been, and still is, hand-in-hand.
Attending separate church services is a real shock also. We began as friends at a Home Bible Study out of Calvary Chapel Riverside (Harvest Christian Fellowship) in 1980, and were married there a year and a half later. We continued at Harvest as a family for the next 22 years. Steve was the kind of father who made sure we never missed church except for illness. Even when we went on vacation, we'd find a Calvary Chapel at our destination if possible! For extended illnesses, like chicken pox, he'd even stay home, alternating with me to care for the sick child. Infant care was my bailiwick of course, because I'd nurse each baby for at least a year.
Today, it was a different world. While I sat with Heidi and Pavel at Calvary Chapel Moreno Valley, Steve enjoyed a morning service and a worship team at Raincross. I imagine it would have been reminiscent of the Bible study where we met, and several ones we've attended since--a relatively small group, comfortable.
Communion Sunday--where was my partner, the one whose cup I had to drain almost empty to prevent him spilling it? And whose cup I had to hold along with my own, while also passing the tray? The observance certainly went more smoothly for me, being able to worship fully, focused on God, and then tears did slip down. How grateful I am to know Christ, to be born again! The seraphim in Isaiah 6:3 express the realization of why God is to be worshiped:
Holy, holy, holy, is the LORD of
hosts;
The whole earth is full of His
glory!
As I reflected on my totally changed life while singing, I thought,"Should I be lifting my hands in joy, loving to sing, even smiling? My Steve is in a care home, and I'm a virtual widow!" But the Lord showed me, and I prayed back to Him, "My life has totally changed, and me with it, but God, You have not changed one iota from last Sunday to today! And I will praise You openly and excitedly, with all my heart today, because,
YOU ARE GOD.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Saturday, September 8, 2012
What if you're not a detail person? Day 3
5:41 p.m. Today's project was to take my husband Steve to Raincross to live. If ever there was a need to trust God, go forward only as He led, and lean on the prayers of scores of believers, this was it. This morning, I woke up before 5 a.m. I could have lain in bed and waited to see if I'd go back to sleep, but I got up, put on my robe and slippers, and read the September 8 devotional selection from Charles Spurgeon's Morning & Evening. The topic verse was Hosea 14:8 (KJV):
From me is thy fruit found.
Spurgeon talks about our fruit--what I describe as the beneficial effects our faith has upon others in this life-- being found "by virtue of our union with Christ," as grapes owe their existence to the plant's root. He continues:
The fruit owes much to the root--that is essential to fruitfulness--but it owes very much also to external providences. How much we owe to God's grace-providence! in which He provides us constantly with quickening, teaching, consolation, strength, or whatever else we want [lack]. To this we owe our all of usefulness or virtue.
Our fruit comes from God as to wise husbandry. The gardener's sharp knife promotes the fruitfulness of the tree...So it is, Christian, with that pruning which the Lord gives to thee.
I've been humorously writing about being a "vision" person, rather than a detail specialist, but today every detail had to fall into place in order to make for a smooth transition for Steve. Before the caregiver Elias went to awaken Steve, I reviewed the day's plan with him. At 9:00, he was to take Steve out, for food and any other activity, and not return until 10:30. That would allow my daughter Heidi and her husband Pavel, my son-in-law Nick and his father John, who brought a truck, to load the bed, its frame, a night stand, rocker and lamp without Steve seeing the unusual activity. I gave Elias some cash, and the day began!
God continued to show me that HIS power would deliver all that needed to be accomplished today, because the verse I posted on Facebook, which came up next in order, was Psalm 44:3, which recounts the way the Israelites conquered Canaan:
For they did not gain possession
of the land by their own sword,
Nor did their own arm save
them;
But it was Your right hand, Your
arm, and the light of Your
countenance,
Because You favored them.
Today God gave amazing favor! Elias and Steve had a great morning, eating out and then walking in Andulka Park. We got all of the furniture moved and Steve's room arranged and decorated with family pictures and mementos. Then came the final test of all of the plans and leading which began with the Spirit and was accomplished through prayer and labor. As I drove Steve and Elias to Raincross, I was thinking like a former musician: this was a command performance which had to go right! After rehearsals and much practice, there was nothing more I could do but take Steve to that front door--there was no room for error in this sensitive moment for both of us. The suspense and tension I felt were building for the simple reason that I had no idea how Steve would react--that was the wild card.
God's favor was the only thing that could have caused Steve to walk happily into Raincross' foyer, sit comfortably, shake hands and follow the director calmly and easily, and then take his seat for lunch. I was amazed at how he smiled at everything while eating the large lunch Elias fed him. In the middle of the ice cream and cake, having made sure LaChristola (activities director for the memory section) was there as prearranged, I stood up and said, "Steve, I need to take Elias back to get his car at our house, and I'll see you later." We kissed briefly, and home I went in perfect peace! I signed Elias' time sheet, took care of some things in the yards and the house, and sat down to journal my thankfulness.
This evening, I called Raincross and Steve is doing fine, had a good dinner, is socializing and walking around quite a bit. I told the caregiver that even though Steve goes to bed very early here, let him stay up and enjoy an evening activity with everyone else.
I'll visit him tomorrow after church, which will be the first time to go to church without my husband in over 31 years, with rare exceptions. That will be emotional, so I'll sit with Heidi and Pavel tomorrow. But God will be there, giving me His joy in the midst of this trial, of that I am certain. II Timothy 1:12:
...for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day
From me is thy fruit found.
Spurgeon talks about our fruit--what I describe as the beneficial effects our faith has upon others in this life-- being found "by virtue of our union with Christ," as grapes owe their existence to the plant's root. He continues:
The fruit owes much to the root--that is essential to fruitfulness--but it owes very much also to external providences. How much we owe to God's grace-providence! in which He provides us constantly with quickening, teaching, consolation, strength, or whatever else we want [lack]. To this we owe our all of usefulness or virtue.
Our fruit comes from God as to wise husbandry. The gardener's sharp knife promotes the fruitfulness of the tree...So it is, Christian, with that pruning which the Lord gives to thee.
I've been humorously writing about being a "vision" person, rather than a detail specialist, but today every detail had to fall into place in order to make for a smooth transition for Steve. Before the caregiver Elias went to awaken Steve, I reviewed the day's plan with him. At 9:00, he was to take Steve out, for food and any other activity, and not return until 10:30. That would allow my daughter Heidi and her husband Pavel, my son-in-law Nick and his father John, who brought a truck, to load the bed, its frame, a night stand, rocker and lamp without Steve seeing the unusual activity. I gave Elias some cash, and the day began!
God continued to show me that HIS power would deliver all that needed to be accomplished today, because the verse I posted on Facebook, which came up next in order, was Psalm 44:3, which recounts the way the Israelites conquered Canaan:
For they did not gain possession
of the land by their own sword,
Nor did their own arm save
them;
But it was Your right hand, Your
arm, and the light of Your
countenance,
Because You favored them.
Today God gave amazing favor! Elias and Steve had a great morning, eating out and then walking in Andulka Park. We got all of the furniture moved and Steve's room arranged and decorated with family pictures and mementos. Then came the final test of all of the plans and leading which began with the Spirit and was accomplished through prayer and labor. As I drove Steve and Elias to Raincross, I was thinking like a former musician: this was a command performance which had to go right! After rehearsals and much practice, there was nothing more I could do but take Steve to that front door--there was no room for error in this sensitive moment for both of us. The suspense and tension I felt were building for the simple reason that I had no idea how Steve would react--that was the wild card.
God's favor was the only thing that could have caused Steve to walk happily into Raincross' foyer, sit comfortably, shake hands and follow the director calmly and easily, and then take his seat for lunch. I was amazed at how he smiled at everything while eating the large lunch Elias fed him. In the middle of the ice cream and cake, having made sure LaChristola (activities director for the memory section) was there as prearranged, I stood up and said, "Steve, I need to take Elias back to get his car at our house, and I'll see you later." We kissed briefly, and home I went in perfect peace! I signed Elias' time sheet, took care of some things in the yards and the house, and sat down to journal my thankfulness.
This evening, I called Raincross and Steve is doing fine, had a good dinner, is socializing and walking around quite a bit. I told the caregiver that even though Steve goes to bed very early here, let him stay up and enjoy an evening activity with everyone else.
I'll visit him tomorrow after church, which will be the first time to go to church without my husband in over 31 years, with rare exceptions. That will be emotional, so I'll sit with Heidi and Pavel tomorrow. But God will be there, giving me His joy in the midst of this trial, of that I am certain. II Timothy 1:12:
...for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day
Friday, September 7, 2012
What if you're not a detail person? Day 2
9:57 p.m. Today's project was to pick up the list of things to bring on Saturday when we move Steve to Raincross. Nothing like an official list to turn my vision from macro to micro in a big hurry!
The Lord has been so gracious to provide 6 hours a day at Care Connexxus for Steve when I can get work done, for home or business, while he's taken care of. Hard to believe I had to call my friend Megan who works there and tell her tomorrow is his last day. We had a nice talk, and tomorrow I'll notify Special Trans that their bus no longer will be stopping here to pick up Steve. The people who minister to me and to other families of disabled folks by caring for our loved ones are a special breed--my love to them all! The joyful way they greet and say goodbye to Steve each day tells me that they love their charges and do the best job they can to keep them safe, happy, clean, fed, and occupied.
While looking in my office at the box of pictures I'm collecting for Steve's room, including a virtual album of our travels, a formal portrait taken on our cruise to Alaska, and a small album of miscellaneous family pictures, I noticed a collage frame that I almost gave away. The director had told me that families are allowed to use a hammer and nails to put up pictures in residents' rooms to lend a familiar feel. In just a few minutes, selecting pictures from the album and off the piano, this frame was filled. Happily, and all credit to the Lord the Holy Spirit, it contains pictures of all of my kids and grand kids, and spouses. There's even a friend and his son, too, on a camping trip to the Grand Canyon that Steve and Sean took in their small private jet. Steve will like it. Now that's the type of detail work I enjoy--fast and free!
Next came some boring stuff. But if it weren't for boring detail work, no advancements in health, safety and even comfort would ever have been made, so with Steve's health, safety and comfort foremost in my mind, I carried on! Do not lose the vision, no matter what!
After washing the spare bed's sheets and comforter, I searched the disorderly linen closet for full sheet sets, because Raincross requires extra sets for incontinence. I only found one sheet torn in half, probably for a paint drop cloth, or to cover seedlings on cold spring nights. Time to go online and see what Kohls had going on. I knew I'd need at least one extra set. Kohls always seem to have sales, and today was no exception. Thanks be to God, I was able to purchase a rust and cream-patterned microfiber full sheet set for 15.00 instead of the original $47.99. Their customer service even held three colors for me to choose from, so my shopping went even faster. And it wouldn't be me if I hadn't left the young lady who helped me an eyeshadow sample adhered to my business card!
Before I knew it, a caregiver arrived and it was time for me to give him instructions for Steve's dinner, change my clothes and head off to do a double facial. The two ladies didn't have the ability to purchase anything, but they thoroughly enjoyed the new skincare line. No money was made, but as I did with the free gift for the cashier at Kohls, I kept this verse in mind, Ecclesiastes 11:1:
Cast your bread upon the waters, for you will find it after many days.
Our Thursday night meeting was full of encouragement, and I received recognition for becoming a new Team Leader. As my Christian director Laurie said to me, in light of the sadness and loneliness I'm facing, "Let Mary Kay be your happy place." She also reminded me of the fact that our unit is a ministry for me, a place where I can mentor so many younger women. That has been my calling in womens' ministry at church for decades. Perhaps God's vision is much bigger.
Just let me get through tomorrow, Lord, then walk each day as You have planned for Steve and me.
I know that God uses little tasks and myriad competing demands on my time to train me, to give me appreciation for the way that each "piece of the puzzle" fits to make the large picture, just as the Apostle Paul describes the way each part of the body, both physically and in the church, make it possible for the whole body to function (I Corinthians 12:14-31). As I write this, members of the Body of Christ from various locations are coming together to help me move Steve, and to mend the sections of fence that somehow toppled over this afternoon. Conversely, the Lord put on my heart to organize meals for a member of our Thursday morning Bible study who has just returned from the hospital. And that's God's plan--sometimes we help, other times we are helped!
Amid all of it, God's vision for His people, and for me in particular, is not at all abated by distractions, tough chores, missteps, or even attacks from the enemy. God's instruction to Habakkuk, in Chapter 2, verses 2-3, which I quote often, comforts me:
Write the vision
And make it plain on tablets,
That he may run who reads it.
For the vision is yet for an
appointed time;
But in the end it will speak, and it
will not lie.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry.
Thank You, Lord!
The Lord has been so gracious to provide 6 hours a day at Care Connexxus for Steve when I can get work done, for home or business, while he's taken care of. Hard to believe I had to call my friend Megan who works there and tell her tomorrow is his last day. We had a nice talk, and tomorrow I'll notify Special Trans that their bus no longer will be stopping here to pick up Steve. The people who minister to me and to other families of disabled folks by caring for our loved ones are a special breed--my love to them all! The joyful way they greet and say goodbye to Steve each day tells me that they love their charges and do the best job they can to keep them safe, happy, clean, fed, and occupied.
While looking in my office at the box of pictures I'm collecting for Steve's room, including a virtual album of our travels, a formal portrait taken on our cruise to Alaska, and a small album of miscellaneous family pictures, I noticed a collage frame that I almost gave away. The director had told me that families are allowed to use a hammer and nails to put up pictures in residents' rooms to lend a familiar feel. In just a few minutes, selecting pictures from the album and off the piano, this frame was filled. Happily, and all credit to the Lord the Holy Spirit, it contains pictures of all of my kids and grand kids, and spouses. There's even a friend and his son, too, on a camping trip to the Grand Canyon that Steve and Sean took in their small private jet. Steve will like it. Now that's the type of detail work I enjoy--fast and free!
Next came some boring stuff. But if it weren't for boring detail work, no advancements in health, safety and even comfort would ever have been made, so with Steve's health, safety and comfort foremost in my mind, I carried on! Do not lose the vision, no matter what!
After washing the spare bed's sheets and comforter, I searched the disorderly linen closet for full sheet sets, because Raincross requires extra sets for incontinence. I only found one sheet torn in half, probably for a paint drop cloth, or to cover seedlings on cold spring nights. Time to go online and see what Kohls had going on. I knew I'd need at least one extra set. Kohls always seem to have sales, and today was no exception. Thanks be to God, I was able to purchase a rust and cream-patterned microfiber full sheet set for 15.00 instead of the original $47.99. Their customer service even held three colors for me to choose from, so my shopping went even faster. And it wouldn't be me if I hadn't left the young lady who helped me an eyeshadow sample adhered to my business card!
Before I knew it, a caregiver arrived and it was time for me to give him instructions for Steve's dinner, change my clothes and head off to do a double facial. The two ladies didn't have the ability to purchase anything, but they thoroughly enjoyed the new skincare line. No money was made, but as I did with the free gift for the cashier at Kohls, I kept this verse in mind, Ecclesiastes 11:1:
Cast your bread upon the waters, for you will find it after many days.
Our Thursday night meeting was full of encouragement, and I received recognition for becoming a new Team Leader. As my Christian director Laurie said to me, in light of the sadness and loneliness I'm facing, "Let Mary Kay be your happy place." She also reminded me of the fact that our unit is a ministry for me, a place where I can mentor so many younger women. That has been my calling in womens' ministry at church for decades. Perhaps God's vision is much bigger.
Just let me get through tomorrow, Lord, then walk each day as You have planned for Steve and me.
I know that God uses little tasks and myriad competing demands on my time to train me, to give me appreciation for the way that each "piece of the puzzle" fits to make the large picture, just as the Apostle Paul describes the way each part of the body, both physically and in the church, make it possible for the whole body to function (I Corinthians 12:14-31). As I write this, members of the Body of Christ from various locations are coming together to help me move Steve, and to mend the sections of fence that somehow toppled over this afternoon. Conversely, the Lord put on my heart to organize meals for a member of our Thursday morning Bible study who has just returned from the hospital. And that's God's plan--sometimes we help, other times we are helped!
Amid all of it, God's vision for His people, and for me in particular, is not at all abated by distractions, tough chores, missteps, or even attacks from the enemy. God's instruction to Habakkuk, in Chapter 2, verses 2-3, which I quote often, comforts me:
Write the vision
And make it plain on tablets,
That he may run who reads it.
For the vision is yet for an
appointed time;
But in the end it will speak, and it
will not lie.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry.
Thank You, Lord!
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
What if you're not a detail person? Day 1
2:46 p.m. Today's project was to finish paper details with Raincross for Steve's entrance on Saturday. I knew I needed to bring his long term care insurance policy and completed doctor forms. Then I heard from the memory care director that I needed to bring a white folder full of more forms. Added to my part in the assessment that our insurance company will perform at the facility with Steve on Monday, there is a distinct possibility that there's a hand cramp in my future!
When I arrived at Raincross, there was a Big Band-era singer performing for the residents in the lobby while the staff passed out root beer floats, even offering a choice of sugar-free ice cream or sugar-free root beer! Or any combination thereof. Of course, this was the assisted living section, where residents come and go as they please. My destination was the office of the director of the memory care program, "Connections for Living," Ruthie. We had stacks to go through, and I brought all of my papers-- power of attorney, Steve's doctor report, TB test results, a personal profile and a signed and witnessed end--of--life form. I would have zoned out completely with all of the numerical details, but this is about my husband's health and safety for the rest of his life, so I was attentive! (And the legal forms are required by the State of California).
Romans 13:1 tells us our duty as citizens is to follow the law and requirements of local civil authorities.
Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God.
The next part is going to be more challenging. A discussion began of items I'd need to provide for Steve's room, so I asked to go over there. I'd planned to bring a queen-sized bed from a spare bedroom; the rocking chair he put together before we were married, that I rocked our babies in--the one no one uses now; toiletries, towels and washcloths, diapers, a huge old TV and stand, the radio he had as a bachelor; a night stand and some family and couple photos. Since there is laundry and linen service, I won't need to bring every item of clothing Steve owns. In fact, the resident packet emphasizes seasonal items.
For you shall not go out with
haste,
Nor go by flight;
For the LORD will go before you,
And the God of Israel will be your
rear guard.
When I went to Kmart for the mattress enclosure, there was the Full size, with the same measurements as online. And at home, it fit perfectly. The bed linens that will travel separately to Raincross are being laundered, and the foam pad will be placed on top for Steve's comfort.
I even found a bag of Steve's "extra underwear" at the Goodwill for $11 less than it would have cost at a grocer's or a pharmacy!
Believer, when you have had a word from the Lord, even in times of uncertainty that you're doing the right thing, watch how Jesus goes before you to mow down the obstacles, and comes behind you to shore up your confidence while He destroys the works of the devil that would devour and diminish your good work.
What a wonderful God we serve!
Tomorrow: What if you're not a detail person? Day 2
When I arrived at Raincross, there was a Big Band-era singer performing for the residents in the lobby while the staff passed out root beer floats, even offering a choice of sugar-free ice cream or sugar-free root beer! Or any combination thereof. Of course, this was the assisted living section, where residents come and go as they please. My destination was the office of the director of the memory care program, "Connections for Living," Ruthie. We had stacks to go through, and I brought all of my papers-- power of attorney, Steve's doctor report, TB test results, a personal profile and a signed and witnessed end--of--life form. I would have zoned out completely with all of the numerical details, but this is about my husband's health and safety for the rest of his life, so I was attentive! (And the legal forms are required by the State of California).
Romans 13:1 tells us our duty as citizens is to follow the law and requirements of local civil authorities.
Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God.
The next part is going to be more challenging. A discussion began of items I'd need to provide for Steve's room, so I asked to go over there. I'd planned to bring a queen-sized bed from a spare bedroom; the rocking chair he put together before we were married, that I rocked our babies in--the one no one uses now; toiletries, towels and washcloths, diapers, a huge old TV and stand, the radio he had as a bachelor; a night stand and some family and couple photos. Since there is laundry and linen service, I won't need to bring every item of clothing Steve owns. In fact, the resident packet emphasizes seasonal items.
When the director and I entered the room, I saw two chifferobes, roommate Bill's bed and large TV, two extra chairs that would be removed, and a space that might be too small for a queen bed. So my plan had to undergo a small change. No TV is needed, and there might not be room for the rocking chair on Steve's side of the room. When Ruthie and I went back to the office, I mentioned the measurement I'd taken of the bed I'm bringing: 55' x 78". So an assistant googled bed measurements, and found that a FULL bed is 54" x75", so hurray and thank you, Lord, the bed isn't as large as I'd thought. The extra inches, I figured out, were due to the layer of foam padding I'd added. The correct measurement was important for another item I'd need for the bed: a vinyl zip-around mattress enclosure. Without knowing the correct kind of bed I had to work with, I would have been frantic otherwise--my blood pressure rises when I'm confronted with too many details. I tend to think that presenting and putting the the overall vision in place should be enough! Don't you love the Lord's calming, assuring promise to His people--and much needed for me-- in Isaiah 52:12?For you shall not go out with
haste,
Nor go by flight;
For the LORD will go before you,
And the God of Israel will be your
rear guard.
When I went to Kmart for the mattress enclosure, there was the Full size, with the same measurements as online. And at home, it fit perfectly. The bed linens that will travel separately to Raincross are being laundered, and the foam pad will be placed on top for Steve's comfort.
I even found a bag of Steve's "extra underwear" at the Goodwill for $11 less than it would have cost at a grocer's or a pharmacy!
Believer, when you have had a word from the Lord, even in times of uncertainty that you're doing the right thing, watch how Jesus goes before you to mow down the obstacles, and comes behind you to shore up your confidence while He destroys the works of the devil that would devour and diminish your good work.
What a wonderful God we serve!
Tomorrow: What if you're not a detail person? Day 2
Monday, September 3, 2012
"Miss, could you give me a job?"
8:30 p.m. Today's project was to sit down at the Starbucks at Vons grocery store with my Lime Refresher, which I got a deal on, and make booking phone calls to my Mary Kay customers. I'm about $800 short of the amount I'll need to move Steve into Raincross. So I'm very focused on seeing what the Lord will do, whether by my business efforts, or by any other means He sees fit to provide by this Saturday! All other paperwork and doctor's forms are signed and in order, and moving details are getting straightened out. God has been very faithful over the last 32 years, so I've no reason to doubt Him now!
This morning, since it was Labor Day and the daycare was closed and special trans buses were not picking up, I took advantage of a day with Steve to take him to visit my dad. They won't be seeing one another for a while. Steve and I had fun with the wheelchair Villa de Anza loaned us that was missing the footrests. So Steve pedaled his way down the long halls Fred Flintstone style, prompting me to ask him, "Hey, isn't there a speed limit here?!"
When we got home, I began working on one aspect of being at home alone after Saturday, and that is my need to hire a walker for Jada, our Lab, seen above with her poor "baby." (The video is hilarious). I began my recruitment efforts by emailing two of our pastors, who handle practical help for the body at Calvary Chapel, and also have connections with young people who might want a simple job. Jada's very friendly and fun, but when she gets to walk/pull/running, her arthritic "mom," would not be able to hold onto the leash. Even Steve's morning caregivers have to exert some pretty good pressure to keep her in check. And they're grown men!
After a visit to my friend Debi in a local hospital, I settled in at my table at Vons and made dozens of calls, enjoying myself as I always do once I get on a roll. A young man came over with a cart of what looked like clothes and sat down, and I continued my calls after glancing over at him. He then said to me from his nearby table, "Excuse me, Miss." I looked up.
"Excuse me, Miss," he repeated.
"Yes, hi!" I said, picking up my phone to tell him the time, which is what I figured he wanted.
"Miss, could you give me a job?" What did I hear him say? I must have looked and sounded businesslike, because I was conducting business, so that made some sense. Of course he'd have no way of knowing that my business world is exclusively pink. But God excludes nobody! Because, as He said in Isaiah 55:8-9,
"For My thoughts are not your
thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,"
says the LORD.
"For as the heavens are higher
than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your
ways,
And my thoughts than your
thoughts."
Knowing that the Lord often tests us by the people He puts in our paths, I had a thought, and said, "Actually, I am looking for someone to walk my big dog now that I'm moving my husband to a care center. Tell me about yourself--are you from around here? What do you do? " He said,
"I haven't had a job for 5 years."
"I understand, because my son and a son-in-law have been looking for work for a long time, too. Times are hard. What kinds of work did you used to do?"
"Construction, retail sales, many things."
"Let me have your name and number. I'll tell you honestly that I emailed my pastors earlier to ask if they had a high schooler or a young adult who might be able to do the job, but if they don't, why don't you go up to Harvest Christian Fellowship and ask for some work over there? The pastors will usually find something you can work on. "
He gave me his name and a "reliable message number." I respectfully put the info into my phone contact list, and may call him, if I don't find someone whose family I know from church. If the Lord leads, and a meeting can be arranged with a third party present in a public place, I may have found a dog walker.
And maybe he will find Christ!
When we got home, I began working on one aspect of being at home alone after Saturday, and that is my need to hire a walker for Jada, our Lab, seen above with her poor "baby." (The video is hilarious). I began my recruitment efforts by emailing two of our pastors, who handle practical help for the body at Calvary Chapel, and also have connections with young people who might want a simple job. Jada's very friendly and fun, but when she gets to walk/pull/running, her arthritic "mom," would not be able to hold onto the leash. Even Steve's morning caregivers have to exert some pretty good pressure to keep her in check. And they're grown men!
After a visit to my friend Debi in a local hospital, I settled in at my table at Vons and made dozens of calls, enjoying myself as I always do once I get on a roll. A young man came over with a cart of what looked like clothes and sat down, and I continued my calls after glancing over at him. He then said to me from his nearby table, "Excuse me, Miss." I looked up.
"Excuse me, Miss," he repeated.
"Yes, hi!" I said, picking up my phone to tell him the time, which is what I figured he wanted.
"Miss, could you give me a job?" What did I hear him say? I must have looked and sounded businesslike, because I was conducting business, so that made some sense. Of course he'd have no way of knowing that my business world is exclusively pink. But God excludes nobody! Because, as He said in Isaiah 55:8-9,
"For My thoughts are not your
thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,"
says the LORD.
"For as the heavens are higher
than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your
ways,
And my thoughts than your
thoughts."
Knowing that the Lord often tests us by the people He puts in our paths, I had a thought, and said, "Actually, I am looking for someone to walk my big dog now that I'm moving my husband to a care center. Tell me about yourself--are you from around here? What do you do? " He said,
"I haven't had a job for 5 years."
"I understand, because my son and a son-in-law have been looking for work for a long time, too. Times are hard. What kinds of work did you used to do?"
"Construction, retail sales, many things."
"Let me have your name and number. I'll tell you honestly that I emailed my pastors earlier to ask if they had a high schooler or a young adult who might be able to do the job, but if they don't, why don't you go up to Harvest Christian Fellowship and ask for some work over there? The pastors will usually find something you can work on. "
He gave me his name and a "reliable message number." I respectfully put the info into my phone contact list, and may call him, if I don't find someone whose family I know from church. If the Lord leads, and a meeting can be arranged with a third party present in a public place, I may have found a dog walker.
And maybe he will find Christ!
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Last call
9:33 p.m. Today's project was to attend our church service this morning. Steve did well getting himself into the Jeep, so much better than yesterday afternoon after our day at the beach, that I told him, "Looks like you're a morning person!" That's one more thing we've always had in common--we're both early risers and very energetic. And while I didn't appreciate this when they were toddlers, so are our kids!
It's interesting to me how many references there are to "rising up early" in scripture. Abraham, Jacob, Moses, Joshua, Gideon, Samuel, David, Job, Hezekiah, Jesus Himself, and Mary Magdalene going to His tomb--all rose early either to meet with the Lord in prayer, or to carry out His commandments. King Darius, after a sleepless night, rose early see whether Daniel had survived in the lions' den. There is something quiet, cool, still and anticipatory about the early morning, when believers take that time to greet the Lord and spend the time with Him as much as their work or school day allows. We may be seeking Him to praise Him, seeking to receive guidance, interceding for loved ones, or confessing sin to Him before we can feel comfortable proceeding with our day. For me most days, it's all of the above!! Proverbs 8:17 (KJV) says,
Those who seek me early shall find me.
We attended the 9:45 second service today. When the girls and their husbands came over later, somehow they were talking about attending 1st service for years at Harvest. I told them that with their dad getting up at 3 or 4 each weekday and sometimes Saturdays to commute, we needed one day to get some rest. So we did change to 2nd service. Heidi exclaimed, "With all of us kids, how did we make it to first service? How did we do it?" I felt like ribbing her and saying, "Pardon me, but who's this 'WE?' " But it's a good question: how did Steve and I do it? It was the Lord enabling us to consistently provide that solid grounding in God's Word, prayer and worship, it was and is, all Him!
Church attendance has been a major commitment all of Steve's life, because he was raised with a solid church-going background as Lutheran. I, on the other hand, was instrumental in getting my sister and mom to our old Methodist church; and then led all my immediate family members to the Lord when I became born again in 1980.
Today was Steve's last day to attend our Sunday morning service. He'll be moving into Raincross on Saturday, where they do have church services for the residents. The friendly hugs and greetings he received from his men's Bible study friends were so touching and encouraging to him, that he didn't want to let go of their hands so we could enter the sanctuary. Same with the ushers and everyone else we know. Yet, even though he was singing along with the praise songs, he was bent down uncomprehending during the sermon and prayers, as far as I could tell, though the Holy Spirit was undoubtedly still ministering to his heart in a way I wouldn't understand.
How do I feel about his not coming to service any more? I'll see next Sunday when it becomes a reality. I was weepy today during worship, but "praising in the storm" as the song goes.
Would covet your prayers for this week of "last calls."
It's interesting to me how many references there are to "rising up early" in scripture. Abraham, Jacob, Moses, Joshua, Gideon, Samuel, David, Job, Hezekiah, Jesus Himself, and Mary Magdalene going to His tomb--all rose early either to meet with the Lord in prayer, or to carry out His commandments. King Darius, after a sleepless night, rose early see whether Daniel had survived in the lions' den. There is something quiet, cool, still and anticipatory about the early morning, when believers take that time to greet the Lord and spend the time with Him as much as their work or school day allows. We may be seeking Him to praise Him, seeking to receive guidance, interceding for loved ones, or confessing sin to Him before we can feel comfortable proceeding with our day. For me most days, it's all of the above!! Proverbs 8:17 (KJV) says,
Those who seek me early shall find me.
We attended the 9:45 second service today. When the girls and their husbands came over later, somehow they were talking about attending 1st service for years at Harvest. I told them that with their dad getting up at 3 or 4 each weekday and sometimes Saturdays to commute, we needed one day to get some rest. So we did change to 2nd service. Heidi exclaimed, "With all of us kids, how did we make it to first service? How did we do it?" I felt like ribbing her and saying, "Pardon me, but who's this 'WE?' " But it's a good question: how did Steve and I do it? It was the Lord enabling us to consistently provide that solid grounding in God's Word, prayer and worship, it was and is, all Him!
Church attendance has been a major commitment all of Steve's life, because he was raised with a solid church-going background as Lutheran. I, on the other hand, was instrumental in getting my sister and mom to our old Methodist church; and then led all my immediate family members to the Lord when I became born again in 1980.
Today was Steve's last day to attend our Sunday morning service. He'll be moving into Raincross on Saturday, where they do have church services for the residents. The friendly hugs and greetings he received from his men's Bible study friends were so touching and encouraging to him, that he didn't want to let go of their hands so we could enter the sanctuary. Same with the ushers and everyone else we know. Yet, even though he was singing along with the praise songs, he was bent down uncomprehending during the sermon and prayers, as far as I could tell, though the Holy Spirit was undoubtedly still ministering to his heart in a way I wouldn't understand.
How do I feel about his not coming to service any more? I'll see next Sunday when it becomes a reality. I was weepy today during worship, but "praising in the storm" as the song goes.
Would covet your prayers for this week of "last calls."
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Matthew 6:8 to San Clemente
10:29 p.m. Today's project was to take the Metrolink train to San Clemente, a popular surfing beach in south Orange County. Steve and I received two free round trip tickets for maintaining a Fastrak account, which when using their transponder, allows a driver to use special lanes to bypass traffic jams any time of the day or night. And on the 91 freeway between Riverside and Orange counties, a tie-up could happen at 2:00 in the morning! Putting our kids and some of our extended family on our account has really eased the angst for weddings, graduations, and family parties.
With just a week left in our home for Steve, I decided that today would be perfect for a trip to the beach. On descending the stairs to the kitchen, I discovered that our usual 5:00 a.m. Saturday caregiver hadn't arrived, and had to call him at home at 6 a.m, because the agency mistakenly told him he wouldn't be needed this morning! We had a non-negotiable departure time of 8:30 from our house, to meet a non-negotiable train boarding time of 9:15! With packing our meals, making all arrangements for the dog and house and doing 3 loads of laundry to cope with Steve's nightly accidents added to my morning devotional schedule, this was not a morning to lack help!
God knew that, and Elias, a believer with a true servant's heart, came quickly.
Your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him, Jesus said in Matthew 6:8.
Elias quickly got Steve ready, fed him breakfast and placed him in the car for me, while I finished my morning business, devotional, nutritional, sartorial, and practical. Steve and I arrived at the station in plenty of time, and got a close handicapped space. We slowly walked toward the platform, validated our tickets, and I asked the question that had weighed heavily on my mind, traveling with a virtually helpless husband,"Will we have to change trains at some point?" "No," the agent replied, "You just stay on this train to the San Clemente pier." Matthew 6:8!
The walk to the train platform was up an elevator, across an overhead breezeway bridge, then down an elevator to the boarding area. A few hundred people had gathered, fully ready for the beach, with chairs, boogie boards and even umbrellas. Steve and I were only going to sit in any shady, grassy spot we could find, enjoy the cool breezy weather, watch the surf, watch the people, watch the pelicans flock overhead, and stay off of the uncertain walking area [for Steve] known as "sand." This would be an ultra-relaxed day for us, with no pressure except to take care of Steve's needs before heading back!
The train was very cool and comfortable, and I seated Steve next to a window so he could enjoy the scenery. I do confess to doing a bitty bit of Mary Kay business, but after an excellent finish for my team's production in August, despite major trials with my dad and Steve, it was time for me to relax!
As long as my cellphone stayed charged on the train's wall socket, and Steve just enjoyed staring wordlessly out his window, I alternated between dozing and pointing out places of interest, like streets in his hometown of Orange.
Our day went beautifully, and so did our ride home, except for the fact that Steve kept staring at the back of the seat in front of him, and at the floor. (He'd had his afternoon meds so that wasn't the problem). I thought, "Oh well, he's lost interest in looking out the window," and I dozed off. Suddenly I heard him exclaim, "Those bastards!" while he was fully awake and still staring at the floor! I'm grateful to the Lord that nobody turned around or noticed. I told him, "There is nobody bad on this train; look out the window; and please talk quietly." He said, "Oh sorry," and everything went smoothly as we sped into Riverside. I pointed out to him the neighborhood we lived inwhen we were first married-- even the street, and he paid attention. In a great moment of clarity shortly after a few more miles, Steve looked over at the cemetery on Central Avenue we drive past constantly, and spoke out, "That's where my dad is." Lorenz is actually buried at the National Veterans' Cemetery at the south end of town, as is Ruby his mother. But for Steve to think of a sentence, and have a coherent thought in a timely manner was a very good accomplishment for him. His dementia manifests itself randomly. But bless the Lord for providing that moment. Matthew 6:8!
Despite suddenly serious struggles getting off the train, in and out of the elevators, walking, and then seating himself in the Jeep, Steve persevered, once his head was turned in the right direction and he followed my instructions. But I wasn't going to let those things spoil our day, not with all that our Heavenly Father had provided.
Believer, He knows what you have need of --even before you ask!!
With just a week left in our home for Steve, I decided that today would be perfect for a trip to the beach. On descending the stairs to the kitchen, I discovered that our usual 5:00 a.m. Saturday caregiver hadn't arrived, and had to call him at home at 6 a.m, because the agency mistakenly told him he wouldn't be needed this morning! We had a non-negotiable departure time of 8:30 from our house, to meet a non-negotiable train boarding time of 9:15! With packing our meals, making all arrangements for the dog and house and doing 3 loads of laundry to cope with Steve's nightly accidents added to my morning devotional schedule, this was not a morning to lack help!
God knew that, and Elias, a believer with a true servant's heart, came quickly.
Elias quickly got Steve ready, fed him breakfast and placed him in the car for me, while I finished my morning business, devotional, nutritional, sartorial, and practical. Steve and I arrived at the station in plenty of time, and got a close handicapped space. We slowly walked toward the platform, validated our tickets, and I asked the question that had weighed heavily on my mind, traveling with a virtually helpless husband,"Will we have to change trains at some point?" "No," the agent replied, "You just stay on this train to the San Clemente pier." Matthew 6:8!
The walk to the train platform was up an elevator, across an overhead breezeway bridge, then down an elevator to the boarding area. A few hundred people had gathered, fully ready for the beach, with chairs, boogie boards and even umbrellas. Steve and I were only going to sit in any shady, grassy spot we could find, enjoy the cool breezy weather, watch the surf, watch the people, watch the pelicans flock overhead, and stay off of the uncertain walking area [for Steve] known as "sand." This would be an ultra-relaxed day for us, with no pressure except to take care of Steve's needs before heading back!
The train was very cool and comfortable, and I seated Steve next to a window so he could enjoy the scenery. I do confess to doing a bitty bit of Mary Kay business, but after an excellent finish for my team's production in August, despite major trials with my dad and Steve, it was time for me to relax!
As long as my cellphone stayed charged on the train's wall socket, and Steve just enjoyed staring wordlessly out his window, I alternated between dozing and pointing out places of interest, like streets in his hometown of Orange.
Our day went beautifully, and so did our ride home, except for the fact that Steve kept staring at the back of the seat in front of him, and at the floor. (He'd had his afternoon meds so that wasn't the problem). I thought, "Oh well, he's lost interest in looking out the window," and I dozed off. Suddenly I heard him exclaim, "Those bastards!" while he was fully awake and still staring at the floor! I'm grateful to the Lord that nobody turned around or noticed. I told him, "There is nobody bad on this train; look out the window; and please talk quietly." He said, "Oh sorry," and everything went smoothly as we sped into Riverside. I pointed out to him the neighborhood we lived inwhen we were first married-- even the street, and he paid attention. In a great moment of clarity shortly after a few more miles, Steve looked over at the cemetery on Central Avenue we drive past constantly, and spoke out, "That's where my dad is." Lorenz is actually buried at the National Veterans' Cemetery at the south end of town, as is Ruby his mother. But for Steve to think of a sentence, and have a coherent thought in a timely manner was a very good accomplishment for him. His dementia manifests itself randomly. But bless the Lord for providing that moment. Matthew 6:8!
Despite suddenly serious struggles getting off the train, in and out of the elevators, walking, and then seating himself in the Jeep, Steve persevered, once his head was turned in the right direction and he followed my instructions. But I wasn't going to let those things spoil our day, not with all that our Heavenly Father had provided.
Believer, He knows what you have need of --even before you ask!!
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