A mom who matters

5:31 p.m. Today's project was to watch four pre-recorded episodes of "Say Yes to the Dress," a show that chronicles brides-to-be gown shopping in a New York bridal salon. Heidi and I had watched two of them already, and caught a quick promo spot for a contest offering a bride and one guest a trip to the New York salon and I believe, a free dress. We didn't have time to get the details, so she made me promise to watch the later episodes. But after she left to hang out with Pavel at his family's house, I found a '50s musical that Steve and I both enjoyed, so I didn't watch the later episodes, which were tivo'ed anyway. My wedding vows said that I am to prefer Steve above all others, so I wasn't going to make him sit through four "dress" episodes!

This morning started with the two of us praying together for the weekend's 5th & 6th grade retreat, the age group that she and Pavel teach on Wednesday and Sunday. Heidi will be giving her testimony, and I jokingly hope she'll go easy on good ol' mom and dad! The two of them left for best friend Shea's graduation ceremony at Cal Baptist, while I went to hair and pedicure appointments. Steve and I later met up with them at Shea's party. Great fellowship and food, very nicely done by Shea's mom and mother-in-law. I even had the opportunity to witness a bit to Shea's mom! "Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not," II Timothy 4:2 (New Living Translation) says! Prayerfully, some seeds were planted.

Back at home, Steve and our neighbor took down the broken fence section, and I set about to watch the programs. They showed everything from a bride rebelling against wearing the gwon three generations of her family had worn, to lesbian "brides" each wanting white gowns, and family bickering of epic proportions. After wasting a couple of hours, I never did see the contest mentioned except as part of another show-thanks a lot!! (I did see a very glamorous Mary Kay commercial, though!)

I think the saddest figure in all of the episodes was the mother of the bride who found herself left in the background while the large, rowdy group of future in-laws dominated the entire appointment. The mother shared in a moment apart from the group that she had hoped to have the special time alone with her daughter, but was bowled over in favor of a "girls' weekend." Mom had virtually no input, but kept quiet, very hurt, and the bride didn't seem to notice in all of the in-law's loud carrying on. So regrettable.

It seems that there is to be a balance between letting your adult daughter choose her own gown with some input from her mom, maid of honor, and a sister if she has one; and an all-out dominance by parents who demand the final say because they are paying! I don't think that "he who has the gold makes the rules" is appropriate here! We had a blessed gown search for my younger daughter Heather back in 2008. From purchasing bridesmaid dresses at the LA wholesale district, to finding her gown, our search group consisted of Heather, best friend and maid of honor Meghan, Heidi and myself. We saw styles we liked on her, but Heather had her vision, and we were very harmonious and 100% delighted with her choice of gown. Romans 12:10 says, NLT, "Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring one another." v. 16 says, "Live in harmony with each other...and don't think you know it all!" and verse 18 says, "Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone."

Those verses will go a long way as Heidi and I begin dress shopping in June!

As much as I want to be a "mom that matters," I want my life and actions in every aspect of my life to please God even more. We are approaching a season of high emotions and high expenditures. May we come through Heidi's once-in-a-lifetime event closer as a mother and daughter, and closer to the Lord!