Tell me again why we're doing this?

4:18 p.m. Today's project was for the two of us to get information packets and appointments for our colonoscopies. Steve, at 55, has never had one, and I am due for mine after dutifully going through with one at age 50, and an upper and lower GI five years later. So I'm due. It's a rite of passage for middle age, which apparently is based on our long life expectancy here in the U.S., 50 being considered the middle.

You could put that procedure off for 20 more years as far as I'm concerned, because the last time I had one, I was sick for 5 days. You don't mess with my innards, apparently! They found two benign polyps. So I'm actually glad I had it done, because polyps have been known to turn cancerous. My erratic digestion caused the need for the GI testing four years later, and guess what? There was actually nothing wrong with me! Over the last few years, I've narrowed things down to celiac sprue, an allergy to wheat, barley, and rye. I only know this because whenever I'm on the Atkins diet and drop all wheat and most other carbs, I feel great and function smoothly. In Psalm 139:14 the Psalmist says, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made," and I definitely agree, and I would add, that each one of us is unique down to our very cells.

We constantly hear, "Have X grams of fiber a day!" "Uh, no thanks!" I reply, in total defiance of conventional wisdom. I just hold onto the fact that God knows what keeps me ticking, and what keeps me housebound for days.

Steve and I drove across town to the medical complex near Parkview Hospital, reminiscing about the huge 1-year birthday parties we and our friends would throw for our babies at nearby Hunt Park. Our kids took swimming lessons there, and one of son Steven's soccer teams practiced there. I love driving through Riverside on surface streets, pointing out memorable places to Steve, commenting on everything we see:

"Is the Neptune society still there?"

"I would love to live on that quiet, shady street."

"99 cent tacos! Wow! Never seen that restaurant before."

"No more Grace Baptist School [where I used to teach]. Now Riverside Christian has their middle school there!"

"At least Sears is still open!"

"Look! I thought they closed that DairyQueen! Maybe they just open when the weather warms up..."

Steve enjoyed our drive, and looked at everything, but I know he heard just a portion of my chatter, and didn't remember anything about the locations. Granted, he'd be at work when I shuttled the kids all over town for their activities, but we used to drive up Arlington at least once a week for 14 years on our way to Harvest, and patronized the nearby businesses on the way home. (We lived in La Sierra on the far western end of town for the first 7 years of our marriage, and have been 8 years at Calvary Chapel).

When we arrived at the gastroenterologist's office, we received packets of information, and two separate prescriptions, with two separate dates for procedures as I had requested. My dad offered to drive us back and forth, and I'll take him up on driving me, but there's no way I can allow myself to be at less than my best mental condition when Steve is coming out of anesthesia, even though it will be more of a twilight sleep that people awake from pretty quickly. I have no idea how it will affect his brain...With those issues in mind, I've planned the procedure(s) carefully.

But the worst comes first! You have to drink a gallon of laxative drink, starting at 4 p.m. the day before, following a day of liqiud fasting. And believe me, you stay close to home. The rules are very strict about downing that gallon of liquid, but I hope it will be do-able. I pray Steve will be cooperative, and realize that there's no "wiggle room." I know the Lord will help us to get through! It's important to be declared cancer-free, or get early treatment which colon cancer responds to very well.

Perhaps it's time to "take the beam out of my own eye," as Jesus put it in Luke 6:42, and not project my horrible memories onto Steve, who has no digestive issues of any kind. There's no reason to expect him to have an adverse reaction, so I need to focus on his mental and emotional condition during the prep time and coming out of anesthesia.

May I project confidence for the outcome of Steve's colonoscopy, and for mine as well, knowing that God is in control! And Proverbs 4:25-27a gives me good, sensible and direct advice:

Let your eyes look straight ahead, and your eyelids look right before you. Ponder the path of your feet, and let all your ways be established. Do not turn to the right or to the left...

Thank you, Lord, and amen!