A different sort of wifely role

11:54 a.m. Today's project was to wake up later than the last two days, with no morning commitments. Even though it's just Thursday, it seems like it had become a long week by Wednesday! After coping with Steve's inability to continue in men's Bible study because his speech is too limited now for participation in small group discussion and he can no longer write, I literally broke down and had to go upstairs to bed for 30 minutes yesterday afternoon, not enough to make up for the previous sleepless night, but enough space to get alone with God and to keep from discouraging Steve.

Alzheimer's victims are fascinating to live with in a way, because they live totally in the moment, much like a very small child does. (Except that the child remembers and learns, of course). Steve is almost unaware of even the minutes that just passed, but goes willingly into the current effort, whether for fun or work, and is still fairly thorough in what he does. My role is to look ahead, plan to alleviate his confusion, and help him to stay in the Word for as long as he is able to read, and to pray for and with him. I also make sure to put a fun outing or event into each week that we can enjoy together like a regular retired couple. Even saying or writing "retired" seems funny--he's only 55, I'm 59, and we are both still very physically active. If Alzheimer's hadn't struck, we'd still be in the workforce! I love Deuteronomy 33:25b, where Jacob blesses his son Asher: "As your days, so shall your strength be." Steve is certainly fit, walking the dogs 2-1/2 miles a day, and keeping up our landscaping wonderfully; I'm not perfectly fit, but I keep a full schedule with lots of walking sprinkled though the week. (And good blood pressure numbers!)

Last night we watched a Turner Classic Movie called "One Foot in Heaven," a black & white drama from 1941. The pre-movie credits cited several Christian pastors and heads of denominational organizations as consultants, amazingly, and the gospel, including one-on-one witnessing, is prominently shown! (Imagine that in Hollywood today!) Frederic March and Martha Scott are a pastor and his wife who go through decades together following his call by Jesus Christ at a revival. They both came from prominent Canadian families, and he had been training to be a doctor. When he asked her in front of her appalled high-toned parents if she would go with him, she quoted Ruth 1:16:

Entreat me not to leave you,

Or to turn back from following after you;

For wherever you go, I will go;

And wherever you lodge, I will lodge;

Your people shall be my people,

And your God, my God.

The wife certainly makes good on her word, sacrificing greatly with their children as they move multiple times around the country. They start out with a dirt-poor parsonage in Iowa, and end up in a contentious but wealthy suburban congregation. But at the end of the movie, after a long-fought-for magnificent church is built and the whole town turns out to sing "The Church's One Foundation is Jesus Christ her Lord," the pastor decides he will respond to the Methodist bishop's request that he pastor once again in a very poor country church.

At first his wife objects, as his heart is ailing, and the family is finally ensconced in a settled church and well-furnished parsonage. Then she says, "We'll go. I'll be glad to go with you, Will!" The movie ends with them quoting the passage from Ruth.

The message was entirely scriptural: the Christian wife is to follow her husband's vision, "for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health." We are to be contented with the lifestyle our husband provides, raise his children in the fear of the Lord, and be a witness and blessing to other families.

Steve provided wonderfully for us over the last 29 years, so I would be very wicked to complain at this point, selfish and ungrateful. He has a vision for his daily tasks and initiative that is from the Lord to shoulder his current responsibilities well. On larger issues, like finances and the direction we must take for now and the future, I have to lead out of necessity. It's a new kind of wifely role for me.

But could I do anything less?