7:15 p.m. Today's project was to stay quietly at home on this cool, cloudy day, except to take a medical sample over to the diagnostic lab in our doctor's Day Street building.( Along with our doctor, we are still hunting down the cause of Steve's weight loss).
This area is aptly named Edgemont, because it has a Riverside zip code, 92507, but for the life of me, has always seemed to be in Moreno Valley. Steve and I also went upstairs to request Dr. Guzman's written comments on a Physicians's Statement for Genworth longterm care insurance. We are inching toward putting in a claim for home healthcare services for Steve. I think it may be unsafe for Steve to stay home alone, even for a few hours, by early next year. I am seeking the Lord's guidance and His timing. As we complete each step, I have a peace about the pace in which the process is unfolding. It started last summer when I found the company I plan to use; then opened a claim with the company in September; and then we sat down as a family with a home health nurse for a lengthy interview on Steve's condition on October 5th. To hasten this matter is unseemly to me; I cannot tell when the day will come for Steve to need assistance.
The vast majority of verses in my Strong's Concordance containing the word "haste" actually are exhortations to make haste, such as asking the Lord to hasten His help, or commanding someone to go with haste. In Jeremiah 9:18, God tells "skillful wailing women" to "make haste and take up a wailing" for the plundering of Jerusalem in judgment. On the opposite end of the spectrum of human emotions, Luke 2:16 tells us that the shepherds "came with haste, and found Mary and Joseph, and the Babe lying in a manger."
Neither joy or devastation are appropriate emotions for this time of decision; I want to exercise my faith in God by listening to His voice and moving prudently step by step. I don't necessarily hear a still, small voice, but there are definite times when I am led to move the ball down the field another yard. And there are just as definitely times when I am perfectly still, taking no further actions at all.
Simply, I have a peace. There's no other way I can describe it. Hear Isaiah 28:16:
Thus says the LORD God, "Behold I lay in Zion a stone for a foundation, a tried stone, a precious cornerstone, a sure foundation; he who believes shall not make haste."
II Peter 2:4-6 tells us Christ is that "chief cornerstone," the key to the entire building's stability. Jesus is my cornerstone, my source, my strength, my ability to be stable in the storm. I trust Him implicitly.
Here is a promise from Isaiah 52:12 which is as precious to me as it was to God's people at the time it was written:
For you shall not go out with haste,
Nor go by flight;
For the LORD will go before you,
And the God of Israel will be your rearguard.
Lord, may we always move according to Your will, Your timing, and at Your holy pace!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
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