When God told me to begin gathering material for a book on our life-shattering experience with Alzheimer's from a Christian perspective, He also gave me a way to devote a few hours a week to writing it. I have been researching my journal entries of the last 5 years and making notes on those that specifically refer to Steve's incremental mental, emotional, spiritual and professional ups and downs as the disease began creeping in. God allowed me to discover Care Connexxus, an adult daycare center where Steve could take a bus back and forth, while enjoying social activities with others and a nutritious hot lunch during his 8:30-2:00 visit. At first he didn't want to go because he thought it was a residential program, but now he looks forward to hopping the bus and tells me, as best he can, some things he does. Steve especially enjoys balloon volleyball!
In those 6 hours, I can dig into my journals in a completely quiet house, giving the notations my complete attention for the morning. On the weeks of Thanksgiving and Christmas I set the project aside, but have compiled close to two hundred entries, all numbered so I can go back to them in an orderly fashion when it comes time to write. The day Steve goes on the bus is Wednesday, when there's a Bible study at the center, so that has been the day for my writing.
After discussing some costs with my long term care insurance company, and hearing how much less expensive it is for Steve to spend a day at Care Connexxus than to be at home with a caregiver, I decided to exercise some stewardship and add Fridays too. He's been fine and eager to get on the bus as always.
But here's where I got sidetracked the last three weeks! I would think, " Now I have two days available. The day doesn't matter, it's the writing that does, so I can do it on Fridays, too." Well, you know what happens when you put off any commitment--something else inevitably pops up to take that time slot! I'd get home in time to do some of the notations, but I'd be pretty distracted as the day's happenings occupied my mind.
So the very different interpretation of Malachi 3:8's question
Will a man rob God?
that the Holy Spirit spoke to me specifically, has nothing to do with tithes and offerings as the actual context means. (In fact the Lord has been blessing my business and I've loved tithing on my profits each week). I was robbing God of my promised time to meditate and allow Him to format the book He wants written. Scary and convicting!
This afternoon, Steve was settled in the family room watching "TheWaltons" and having his afternoon snack, so I went into my office and made a score of notations before getting his dinner ready. 2008 was a real year of transition from Steve working to his inevitably permanent unemployability. Repeatedly, however, and still to this day, I ask the Lord for healing, for a miracle, just like I did in the journals.
God will make a way for everything He calls me to do, in the time He wants it done. His concern is less a time slot than a heart-slot!
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