My Maker, my husband

8:36 p.m. Today's project was to visit with Steve at 2:30, after another Mary Kay party in Corona with two adorable nursing mommies of 8- and 10- week old baby boys. The gals really enjoyed their "virtual makeovers" online at my website. One of them quickly grasped the fun and financial opportunity of my business and will be joining my team soon.

When I arrived at Raincross, I saw a "Senior Gift" tree in the lobby, like the Angel Tree idea that Chuck Colson started for children of prisoners. The idea is that you select the name of a child (or in this case a senior citzen) written on a paper bauble, and bring back the gift they requested. On the way out after pondering this, I selected a lady who wants non-skid slippers. Paired with a Mint Foot Cream, that will make a nice gift to bring back before the due date.

This opportunity to give, and to chat with the receptionist Lisa, gave me a few minutes to settle my heart before going back to the secured "Connections Village" memory care section to see Steve. I had some trepidation because of the way he greeted me yesterday from the wheelchair he'd been placed in after losing his balance. When I walked into the activity room yesterday, cheerfully as usual, the caregivers said, "Look who's here! It's your wife!" like they do every time.  He raised up with a hideous scowl on his face, pointed a long bony finger out at me, shouting  "NO! NO! You..." and then trailed off. I'm there every day, so a greeting appropriate for a scary stranger or an enemy, rather than the wife who's there to comfort and cheer him up, was very sad and shocking to me. But the Lord said to His people, the nation of Israel, in Isaiah 54:5, which I also see applying to cases like mine and that of true widows,

For your Maker is your husband,
The LORD of hosts is His name.

I just had to count on Jesus for strength, for a calm and happy demeanor, because I'm being observed (in an innocent manner and for a fleeting moment) by the rest of the residents. So I not only want to calm Steve down, but be a witness to the room full of  afflicted souls. I am sure there are some who do not know Christ. And by building friendship and trust, I hope to have that kind of conversation with some of them before they leave this earth!

During the incident, when I had pulled/pushed/rolled him aside to a table where just to of us sat together, I put my face very close to his and asked, "Steve, why do you make a mean face and shout at me when I come in?" To some it would seem ludicrous to ask, but I feel Steve's not beyond reason. And God the Holy Spirit can certainly spark Steve's senses, including comprehension as needed. He seemed repentant, and finally looked up at me when I told him, "I'm your wife, here to make sure you're all right." Through the whole visit, as I showed Steve the contents of the Operation Christmas Child shoebox full of small gifts and goodies for an impoverished child somewhere on this globe, he just harshly stared with his head turned away. But he did let me kiss him goodby aftr several minutes, because i had to deliver the shoebox to Harvest Christian Felowship, a collection point.

I wonder if he knows me, which is the top question I get from everyone. So far, I believe so. My daughter asked me if I'd still visit if her dad didn't know who I was. "Yes, I would," was my reply. I signed up 32 years ago to serve my husband "Til death do us part." And also, my daughter needs her mom to be a role model for her in lifelong commitment as a wife. Anyone, any age, can find themselves incapacitated. And if our spouse needs 24 hour care, we need to provide that to the best of  our ability, or get help as I have done.

Discouragement may cause me to not be jolly at times when I'm with Steve, or even cause me to hesitate to go see him. But my Christian walk must be consistent, my commitments kept. And love, above all, is what I want to convey to Steve.

I John 3:18 says,

Let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.

And I needed not fear today's visit--Stve was not agitated, but was calm and happy! Thank You, Lord!