Turn, turn, turn

8:36 p.m. Today's project was to get back home in good time, with no traffic, and enjoy a relaxing evening with Steve and Heidi. I'll go to Bible study in the morning after a good night's rest!

I had a wonderful visit with Steven, our youngest, and feel very encouraged about his living up in Fresno. He is really doing it the old-fashioned way--working two jobs, going to school full-time, eating, sleeping, and studying, with a social life to be found with his roommates at the apartment. Best of all, he fellowships at church on Sundays for about 5 hours (!) and again for the high school ministry on Tuesday nights. And he's still a character!

The ostensible purpose for my solo trip was to seek the Lord's will for my son, work on financial aid for his college tuition, and most important, to make sure he is in a right-on, Bible teaching church. Even though he has shown tremendous growth in the Word and spiritual discernment this last couple of years, I wanted to see for myself. The People's Church is a wonderful fellowship, with community outreach to the poor and missions around the world. The church service was definitely youth oriented, but grounded in the Word and led by the Spirit. When I hit the road at 9:25 a.m. this morning, I was actually reluctant to leave, so overjoyed was I with the rightness of Steven's situation! The Lord is more than able to guide, direct, and provide for Steven's needs; His will be done!

I admit to another reason for going by myself: a change of scenery, and a need to take a break from the constant arranging of activities for Steve with his Alzheimer's-caused diminishing mental abilities. I just felt the need to spend time having calm, logical conversations, not having to repeat myself or give instructions, and to enjoy the hilarity of young people that I find so enlivening. It also would have been confusing and difficult on Sunday at a huge new church for Steve, moving quickly from one activity and group of people to the next, getting acquainted with Steven's ministry friends. Also, I foresaw a challenge for Steve to stay awake and engaged through the very long morning, 9 :00 to 1:00 p.m.!

It's not that I need more freeedom, because I come and go, doing whatever is needed for our home, business or ministry back here in Riverside. Steve is nowhere near the point of being unable to stay home alone. I just go out for short periods of time, and take him with me whenever possible, so he gets out during the daytime. The panic and anxiety he manifests are manageable for the time being, and God has given me a supernatural calm to keep a pleasant but challenging atmosphere here at home. How I thank Him, because that is definitely not my natural personality! I'm a high-energy, goal-oriented, project-focused, always-busy lady with not a lot of patience, so God is doing a work that only He can do!

One thing I have found out, other than that I enjoy driving long distances, is that the car is the perfect, private place to pray, ponder, and plan, just mulling things over with God, without the need to keep another person, no matter how beloved, engaged in conversation. I can also let any tears that have been storing up for weeks flow freely, and not even bother to wipe my face!

When the tears are all out, it's back to normal, and I enjoy a perfectly nice rest of my drive, whether listening to an audio novel on my iPOD, praise music, or talk radio--it's all good once again! I reach my destination refreshed, energized, full of plans and fun, glory to God!

At our wedding ceremony on July 11, 1981, we had the song "Turn, Turn, Turn" by Peter, Paul and Mary played, with words from Ecclesiastes Chapter 3 which mean so immeasurably more to me now than on that day:

"To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven...
A time to weep,
And a time to laugh...
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance. "

Steve and I are blessed to have done all of these things and so much more--and our story has not yet been all told! I want to know how it ends--stick with me.