3:58 p.m. Today's project is to cool off, get a grip, settle down, and get in agreement with God! After a wonderful morning of Bible study, in which we ended up challenging one another to make a covenant with God, of freedom from bondage, we enjoyed fellowship in the potluck format we Christians do so well.
I sat with a sister for a few moments of ministry in the sanctuary, and then joined the group in the foyer. What an impressive spread of all kinds of entrees, salads and desserts! There were blessings of a spiritual nature as well. The ladies were very receptive to our leader's announcement of the next Heart to Home session "Produce, Preserve and Provide God's way," that will begin next week with my class on organic gardening. Then we will have Canning ABC's, and the third week will feature household savings. Thank you, Lord, that the ladies want to attend! I have so agonized in prayer over this series!
One matter on my heart is Thursday morning Bible study (in I Samuel) that I will be leading again this spring and summer. When I was still teaching school, we'd begin in late June. The last two years, we've begun in May, as soon as the study at church is completed. But this year we ended early, and my core group of gals is ready to start when I am. They are committed to the study of the Bible, and so supportive. Theresa and Malinda said, "we're ready to start when you are!" Love it! So April might just be our date, and our teacher members who won't be free until June can jump in then...they'll be getting the lessons by email so they can stay caught up. My women remind me of the Bereans mentioned in Acts 17 :11(NLT) :
The people of Berea were more open-minded than those in Thessalonica, and they listened eagerly to Paul's message. They searched the Scriptures day after day to see if Paul and Silas were teaching the truth.
That's what we do each Thursday at 10:00-11:30 a.m. --search the Scriptures together as I teach the truth, as led by the Spirit of Truth!
But there is one lack I've felt, as compared to teaching my women's home study in the 80's: no childcare. Many young moms and grandmas watching their kids' kids for the summer have expressed a desire to attend, but can't. Our hostess Debbie is quite receptive to having the kids in a bonus room upstairs, no problem. But who would be willing to take on the responsibility? One mom is praying about it and agreeable to taking turns with someone, so as not to miss the study every week. So the Lord put another gal on my heart, Angela, and I found her after the Bible study. When I began talking about helping out with kids, she said, "Amber and I will both do it," gesturing to her friend nearby. Wowee!! "Yes," Amber said, "So we'll have a Bible study with the little ones, too?" Gulping with shock, I said, "Oh yes, that's fantastic! I was just praying for babysitters!"
We talked a little more, I assured them that they'd be able to keep up with the lessons by email, and I wandered about on a cloud, reeling from God's goodness! Enjoy Ephesians 3:20 with me:
For He is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask or think!!
I was definitely blessed out of my socks!! We finished up at church, and on the drive home, my neighbor and I talked over the challenge to write up a two-sentence covenant with God, place it in an envelope and give to a spiritual leader in your life to read, seal and keep for you to be accountable. I was definite about whom to share my covenant with, a long-time mentor who is now in her 80's and lives in Washington State. But I was still rolling ideas around as to the choice of topic (out of so many possibilities, sadly). She, on the other hand, had no problem knowing what she would write. She's developed many ways to allow God to be with her, and her trust and wisdom have really progressed.
The Lord showed me something, though, after I got home, said goodbye to the caregiver, and Steve and I began doing a little light housework. He was going to get a small dustbuster vacuum he likes (that has almost no power) but I suggested that he just whip out the Swiffer and mop instead of kneeling all around the floor vacuuming up one bit of debris at a time. So I went out to the garden while he did that, and when I came in he asked where the little vac was. I told him he'd left it out in the garage charging last night.
Meanwhile, he got the regular vacuum while I washed up flower vases and Windexed our living room glass table. He again wanted to know where the little vac was, and we went out to the garage to look. It wasn't where he 'd put it last night, but there was something else there--a broken Swiffer mop! I asked him with some irritation when he planned to tell me he'd broken it, but I just figured I'd use a coupon and get another one at some point. His Alzheimers' is causing him to act like a child trying to hide an accident from "Mommy." Heretofore, we've been perfectly fine confessing damage we've caused, realizing, as adults do, that accidents happen.
After a while, he came to me with a furious face loudly accusing, "You're taking away all the things that are important to me!" "What? I (unfortunately) yelled. He went on,"The little vacuum! Where'd you put it?" I told him, "Like I JUST said, you left it before bedtime last night on the charger near the freezer! Now please go back to the garage and find out where you moved it!"
I am not proud of losing it, and confess it as sin. But I am still more concerned with Steve's periodic disease-caused irrationality. We may need more caretaker hours, because the above-mentioned scenes happened while I was doing paperwork for his new Medicare provider, trying to fax his Power of Attorney to them, so they can deal directly with me from now on. This stuff has to get done, and on time. He calmed down, apologized for the false accusation, and we have had a peaceful afternoon. There was a problem changing his shirt after walking the dogs, but we managed past the frustration point to take care of it.
While I have more decisions to make as I sail the uncharted waters of new stages of my husband's Alzheimers, I know that I need to covenant with God to pray first instead of reacting around the house and letting Satan steal my joy and many blessings out from under me! If I give all of my home, marriage, family and health issues over to God, I can stop being "large and in charge," and learn the difference between being the responsible party and the boss! I'm a loud and lousy boss--that's a fact. I want to fully enjoy the years Steve and I have left, like we usually do, by exercising some Holy Spirit self control.
When I sat down this afternoon to blog, I felt an immediate sense of calm and purpose, fueled by some Wasabi almonds and fresh lemonade. Now that I've confessed to God and to you, better write my sentences!!
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