Neuro day

1:34 p.m. Today's project was to take Steve to his neurologist, Dr. Rai, for the last time. On April 1st, he'll be on Medicare, and I had to select not only a new primary care provider, but a new neurologist.

This 6 month check-up was an opportunity to report any changes in Steve's status, habits, abilities and weight. He's lost some pounds since we were there last, unlike yours truly who slipped over to the scale while we awaited the doctor! Yikes--must get serious. Since we are both seeing our primary care physician next week, that's a good way to judge whther I actually get serious about changing my eating habits.

When we first met Dr. Rai a few years ago, he and I did not hit it off, to put it mildly. I was in the beginning of coping with Steve's Alzheimer's symptoms, repeated job loss, and application for permanent Social Security disability. All of this became a frighteningly full-time job with no clue as to how to handle it. I needed compassion and concern, along with constructive advice on the disease and its likely progress. Instead, I received a rather cold, if technically competent, response. He seemed to minimize Steve's dire family history and my concerns, and refused to sign a paper asking him about Steve's symptoms for our legal case against Social Security. We ended up with him silently walking out of the exam room as I expressed tearful outrage at his harsh manner.

In future appointments, he listened more and attempted to be somewhat more personable; I maintained my composure a lot better, and our conversations became more professional. He prescribed the sleep apnea tests and the C-pap machine that keeps Steve actually breathing all night without interruption now. He could very well have saved Steve from dying in his sleep!

I am finding myself in tears right now because we can't go back to Dr. Rai's office again. Steve is now on Medicare, and the local Medicare network does not have Dr. Rai on its list of providers. I selected someone I'd heard of in the same part of town. Even sadder is giving up our primary care physician, Dr. Guzman for Steve, same reason. I have known of the doctor I selected, and have no doubt Steve will have excellent care, but it's just disappointing. We've been seeing Dr. Guzman for almost 20 years and have become friends. I'm glad I don't have to switch, at least until I'm forced to go on Medicare at age 62. (That's when private plans shoo you out the door).

Rules!!

God has called us as believers to be orderly, obedient participants in society as a good witness to the world. "Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven," Jesus said in Matthew 5:16.

While there's no emotional component to stopping at a red light, giving up doctors who know a medically and mentally fragile person like Steve is hard to cope with. Change is part of life, which I well know after 5 decades of living, but this will be very difficult and confusing. Perhaps in future times, more providers will be added to the CareMore group, and we'll take back up with Drs. Rai and Guzman. Or maybe not.

Isaiah 43:18-19 says quite a bit about letting the past go:

Do not remember the former things,

Nor consider the things of old.

Behold, I will do a new thing,

Now it shall spring forth;

Shall you not know it?

I will even make a road in the wilderness

And rivers in the desert.

In You, I can go forward. Looking at You, I can rejoice!