A few hours off

5:37 p.m. Today's project was to get a second estimate for the damage to my Jeep's bumper, grille, and front light cover from my December 5th encounter with a rolling Christmas tree.

Before I left for my 2:30 appointment, we had to get our own Christmas tree out of the house, chop it in pieces, and throw it into our green waste dumpster. After Steve had some difficulties making appropriate decisions about this process on Tuesday night, I had invited my dad over to help out. "Two are better than one," Ecclesiastes 4:9 says, "because they have a good reward for their labor." So as soon as Steve and Daddy got the tree out of the house --after some confusion on Steve's part, including telling my dad he didn't know what he was doing!--I was able to give my attention to drying up water spilled from the tree stand and then launder the towels. The living room sure looks empty!

Heidi was home with a sore back and a cough, so after fixing Steve's lunch, I felt able to go out for a few hours. I wanted to pick up a few things at Vons in the Plaza, whose parking lot was mayhem for some reason; visit my friend and interior decorator Kay Hammar's antiques booth on Elizabeth Street; and then pick up a brain-boosting supplement, Phosphaditylserine (PS) that has seemed to bring Steve out of decline a few times over the past year at Clarke's Nutrition on Market Street. Then I completed the circle, as it were, at City Body and Frame on 14th.

As I drove around our part of town, Central Riverside, I felt utterly relaxed with the cool breeze coming through the vents, savored the discussion on talk radio about renewed respect for the Constitution, and generally praised the Lord for a few hours "off." Until I am by myself , I don't realize the strain I am under even when enjoying a fun outing with Steve. Driving becomes hard because he can often be distracting, spooking at things that are normal, alerting me (falsely) that I'm in the wrong lane, or about to get hit, etc. In the RV, I finally had to ask him to sit in the area behind the passenger seat, because of almost causing a couple of accidents. He misses driving, I know, and I am truly sorry about his disappointment. He sensibly agreed to give up driving last year, but it doesn't seem to have completely sunken in, by the way he fixedly stares out the front window and doesn't make conversation like a normal passenger would do. (As I happily did when he did all the driving. I loved being able to trust that responsibility to my husband!) Our drives have become very tense due to his fearfulness and paranoid delusions.

But safety has to come before sensitivity while steering a 3,000 lb. machine. I finally have learned to just keep on driving and harken back to my 43 years of driving experience, good driving record and sound judgment, no matter what Steve calls out. And the Lord has been faithful to give me nerves of steel behind the wheel!

Psalm 91:1-4 and 14-16 say in the NLT,

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High

will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

This I declare about the LORD:

He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;

He is my God, and I trust Him.

For he will rescue you from every trap

and protect you from deadly disease.

He will cover you with His feathers.

He will shelter you with His wings.

His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

The LORD says, "I will rescue those who love Me.

I will protect those who trust in My name.

When they call on Me, I will answer;

I will be with them in trouble.

I will rescue and honor them.

I will reward them with a long life

and give them My salvation."

That is a lot to trust God for, but my God is able!