Saturday, October 6, 2012

Being carried

7:57 p.m. Today's project was to get everything ready for my almost-weekly "Muffins & Makeovers" facial and makeover class. My guest, whom I met at a huge children's boutique, had confirmed with me, so perhaps the Lord would be gracious and allow her to purchase a Mary Kay product or two. All sales proceeds these days add to my plane ticket fund for a trip to Charlotte, North Carolina. There's a wonderful annual conference I've qualified for, called "Charlotte Advance," hosted by our National Director Kathy Helou.  

My very busy businesswoman customer relaxed, enjoyed the facial and loved the products, an assortment of which she did purchase. I really thanked the Lord for the rapport Jean and I had established, and for a check to deposit at the bank!  After my tithe, there was enough for the airfare and the small conference fee. Maybe nothing to live off of for the next week, but with a house full of groceries and staying local to save gas, I'd be fine. Like the Apostle Paul in Philippians 4:11,

Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content.

On my way home to and from the bank, I was listening to Pastor Chuck Smith teaching Psalm 23, about the specific ways a shepherd leads sheep to a comfortable place to rest, without thirst, friction with other flock members, irritants or fear. Only then will she lie down. Verse 2:

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

As I pondered my current state, I'm not lacking groceries and personal friction with others of Jesus' sheep is rare. But I would describe the main reason my rest is sparse is physical weariness. With Steve no longer doing little tasks, and the caregivers now gone to employment in other homes, the tons of daily help I received inside and outside on the grounds of our home is gone too. The CNAs  would even walk, bathe and clean up after Jada while Steve looked on or did a small part of the task. So now, with an additional dog, a very lively German shepherd puppy, I am using up lots of extra time keeping their surroundings clean and in order. Add all other tasks inside and out, and this has become a very hard time. And the loneliness of not having my husband at home with me is always hanging over my head..

Pastor Chuck went on to recount the famous poem "Footprints in the Sand," where the single set of footprints belongs to the Lord--while He was carrying a believer through the roughest times of his life. I shed some tears as I drove down Alessandro to prepare for any afternoon facials I might do. The reason? The Lord is carrying me this very moment while I work through and retool my life and schedule. God said to His people in Isaiah 46:4,

Even to your old age, I am He,
And even to gray hairs I will
  carry you!
I have made, and I will bear;
Even I will carry, and will deliver

I am surely in need of carrying now, because I received word that my student renter is moving; therefore I'll be refunding him his pro-rated, paid-ahead rent as agreed. My ticket fund will be halved from withdrawing $213,  and I need to verify my go-or not-go status for Charlotte by tomorrow night.

God hasn't dropped me! What will He do or allow, for me to travel to the conference? No deadline is intimidating to God because He sees every matter we struggle over as already resolved.

I'll travel to Charlotte or I won't. I'm too busy being carried to waste time fretting!

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