Sunday, October 30, 2011
But somehow, the clocks were reading an hour earlier than my cellphone and computer, hmmm. Okay, Steve and I would either be on time for the 9:45 service, or get there an hour early and find something to do across the freeway at the Super Walmart.
It was quite odd, after a very rough morning that included toast being thrown onto the floor and other sad incidents, to find the clock in the car set on the correct time. I hadn't changed it, and even though the Jeep is pretty up-to-date, its clock doesn't change itself. So I tuned away from our Christian music station to LA's KNX News Radio to get the final verdict on the correct time. "9:40," the announcer said. "We're good," I said to an unfazed Steve, who was just enjoying staring out the windshield as usual. I have to admire his unfailing trust in my judgment!
Wish I could trust the Lord as much, or at least consistently! So often, the Holy Spirit has to tap me on the shoulder and remind me, "I'm in this for You! You aren't the one doing this. This is My work!" I love to quote to myself (and should quote it more often) what God told the people through Moses during the wilderness journey:
The LORD your God, who goes before you, He will fight for you, Deuteronomy 1:30a.
I was still a bit puzzled until Pastor Mark gave the congregation the reminder to set our clocks back one hour NEXT SUNDAY! Oh well, looks like I have some clocks to take down and put back up next week.
Church was difficult today, and that's putting it mildly. Singing went fine, but Steve was completely out of it during the sermon. Like every week, I put his NKJV Chuck Smith Bible open to the right page, on his lap, and then find the passage in my New Living Translation which I enjoy following along in. Normally, Steve keeps his Bible on his own lap, but as his head kept falling down in sleep, his knees would spread out and the open Bible would head toward the floor! Sadly, we were sitting on the aisle not very far back, so I can only hope Pastor John couldn't see our constant shifting around. So now both heavy Bibles were on my lap while Steve clasped his hands together for his nap. This was so stressful and very distracting from a great message. Praise the Lord that He has gifted me with good concentration!
As Steve fell more heavily asleep, he began leaning over on me, and he is too heavy for me to support in addition to the Bibles. So I quietly rubbed his arm, and when that didn't work, lightly poked him with a pen in his forearm so he would wake up without jerking. My neck and back were very grateful when it was time to stand up for final worship.
Today's experience helped finalize my decision to ask Pastor to come over and minister to Steve because his condition is worsening so rapidly. But what sealed it was our walk back to the Jeep, during which Steve kept pulling away from my hand and would have walked into both a pillar and a wall if I hadn't stopped and tugged him over toward me. I stopped us and talked to him about safe walking, and asked whether or not he wanted to hold my hand and walk closely together (like we've done for our 30 years of marriage). He moved the Bibles he was carrying from the hand away from me, to the hand nearest me, so I guess he wanted to try it on his own. He began to wander off the curb. So I took his hand again, and we made it to the car. I unlocked it and opened his door to show him where to get in without calling out or drawing attention to him. We were parked with a planter to the right that was between us and the driveway.
Steve walked past the open passenger door and the planter, and directly into the "in" driveway! It's only the Lord's grace that kept a car from turning into the driveway at that point.
So now, in addition to getting Steve's blood panel done next week, and seeing the neurologist sooner than we might have, I have to figure out what kind of help I need on Sunday morning and whom to ask, or accept the fact that Steve may not be able to attend church at some point if I cannot manage him any longer by myself. I did email our pastor and he will be looking at coming over to visit with Steve, one-on-one, to encourage him while he can still comprehend the conversation.
But just as the Lord tells me on so many other matters, He is going before me, and already has Steve's and my future laid out on the Royal Road to heaven!
It had been a real strain to get to the park by 8:30a.m., and as a team captain, I should have been there by 8:00. We had a bit of an episode with our lab Jada, who started barking from her crate in the garage about 2:30 , then I let her out. Back upstairs to bed. She started up again, so I gave her some water. Then, unbelievably, the was at it again, so I woke Steve up, which was very difficult, and sent him downstairs--he's her great hero, so it was the only card I had left to play! He got her quieted down, but then could not find his way back to bed. Seems the night light had been left off. Needless to say, I changed my cell phone alarm from 5:30 to 6:00. Thankfully, we picked up another couple of hours of sleep.
Psalm 127:2 says, "The LORD gives His beloved sleep," and so He did. After our devotions and a good breakfast we were on our way by 7:45. Another grace from the Lord was that I had run into our Care Pathways coordinator Darlene at the Somerford Place carnival yesterday, so Steve and I were able to have our team t-shirts on already, which would save us time on arrival at the park.
Thousands of people attended along with sponsoring businesses such as Ralphs, Genworth, (our long term insurance carrier) and several of the in-home care agencies, residence homes, health care providers, and of course, the Alzheimer Association with several informational booths and opportunities for advocacy. Many large family groups were walking with pictures of a beloved parent or grandparent on their shirts. There was a real atmosphere of love, kindness, and shared sorrow, along with determination to see a difference made through advancements in medicine and treatments.
Once we registered and found our Care Pathways team table, we took seats in front of the stage where good rock music oldies from groups like the Eagles was playing, provided by 99.1 FM. Refreshments were plentiful and free, so I took Steve through the line to get water, cracker packs and scones. The Don Francisco coffee booth was very popular.
We thought the walking would happen right away, and that awards would come later as it got hot. But there was a ceremony, which began with the Star Spangled banner sung by a very talented local singer. Two "Laker Girls" were there signing pictures, and sadly, didn't even rise for the National Anthem until almost the end, probably because someone told them to. How embarrassing! Otherwise, besides sitting in the sun awaiting the signal to begin walking, things went along smoothly.
In the picture, you see some of us wearing flowers in differing colors: blue for Alzheimer's sufferer, yellow for caregiver, and purple if you'd lost someone. I realized while filling out flowers for Steve and me, that we fit several categories. If we think too deeply about these losses, we would be tempted to tears. We've lost his father Lorenz and his brother Larry. Steve has the disease, and I am a caregiver.
If we were to dwell on these losses, as well as the personal loss of freedom and normalcy for the two of us, we would be tempted to be depressed. And when I think of my children and our niece and nephews, It could cause utter despair. But we have the Lord, and have learned to grasp the moments, hours and days of happiness and togetherness that the Lord still allows. I encourage my children to live their lives to the fullest, serve Jesus actively and with their whole hearts. And not to be afraid to have their own children because the disease is inherited, true, but there's no telling which generation may get it or be skipped. In other words, they are not to live in fear! They've all gotten married but the youngest one, to spouses who are well aware of their father-in-law's condition. All of them plan to have children sooner or later.
They have taken to heart II Timothy 1:7,
God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
I posted my 3-generational reason for in choosing to walk today on Facebook:
"I am doing the Alzheimer's walk in memory of Lorenz and Larry, and with hope for my children."
Friday, October 28, 2011
The original plan for today called for an appointment for Steve at our Medicare provider Care-More, then my hair appointment at 10:00. Neither appointment took place, because I had the wrong Friday in mind--costing us an half hour of sleep unnecessarily, drat!--and because last evening, I realized that getting my hair done the day before an early morning, damp air Alzheimer's walk on Saturday was a dumb idea! So I rescheduled both items for Monday, with a facial for a new customer sandwiched in between.
Did that quiet down my day? Hardly! Devotions and Bible study laid a firm ground on which to walk, thankfully. As I Timothy 6:19 says, Christians should be:
...storing up for themselves a good foundation for the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.
Speaking of walking, since I needed to borrow a "normal to dry" moisturizer from one of my consultants who lives a couple blocks down, I had Steve saddle up Jada, and off we went. Our street is hilly, so that uphill climb at the end did me good. Maybe that was a little warm-up for tomorrow's Walk to End Alzheimer's. That's 2 miles around a regional park--review due tomorrow!
We ran over to Ralphs for a roll of paper towels, and got ready for our 11:15 visitors, Linda and Lisa, who not only whipped up a delicious Chinese chicken salad for the four of us, but helped me complete my necklaces from the Heart to Home class we had a couple Tuesdays ago. What sweet sisters! Steve kept busy mowing the lawns until he thought something broke, but we were about finished by that time any way.
I had to hastily arrange caregiving for Steve after he had major struggles yesterday, so I cancelled plans to take him to my dad's while I worked the Mary Kay booth. Daddy, at 84, is just not capable of watching or tending to Steve while he's experiencing breakdowns and personal difficulties. Brightstar was good about scheduling one of their CNAs, who actually arrived at 2:30, half an hour early, so I could get her and Steve started on their "official" walk with Jada, and I could quickly change for my event, get gas, and go in horrible traffic to Redlands.
Our booth was a magnetic dart game, with moms filling out entries for a free facial and to win a basket of products. Their kids got a candy and three tries at a bullseye. Cara and I each received 5 leads in two hours, and by 6:15 had packed up all of our supplies, then took them to our sales director's home. Then as darkness was falling, I had to take Alessandro, the road that leads into San Timiteo Canyon, and made quite a few turns on the way to finding it among the unlit streets of the nicest part of Redlands. I put in a call to Pavel, figuring that Heidi would be driving in the evening, but by the time she called me back, I was already in the Canyon.
Praise the Lord for answering my nervous prayers! I arrived at church 10 minutes early for the 7:00 meeting, for good reason. I was to meet a new customer who was to attend the Spanish Bible study at the same time. The Lord is so good. Earlier this week, when we were setting up a time for me to deliver her foundation, it was revealed that we go to the same church. God is so good. So it was perfectly natural for us to have a big hug upon parting, one happy customer and one happy pink lady!
The decision to go to Israel is one Steve and I had prayed about our entire marriage, but kids and more kids, work, drivers' licenses, cars, and higher education for said 5 kids poured forth, and before you know it, 30 years have gone by, and Steve wouldn't be able to travel now, let alone in a couple of years. I regret that, but at least we have taken many beautiful trips together around this country, including twice to Hawaii, and an Alaskan cruise, something Steve had always desired to do. Heidi and Pavel are planning to go as well. March 2013 is the date. And May 2012 is the final payment on the total of $3950--what?!
I am a person who needs a really big goal to work for, not just prizes and extra monthly income from my business, although on the way to meeting my goal, those will be earned, too! Thus I made a sale and made plans to book two other ladies, and after the meeting my friend Deena told me she's coming to the party I'm holding next Friday. I can earn the money--God is in this business for me! He is bringing phone calls for new orders and re-orders, adding team members this quarter, and will bless my hard work. As I pulled out of the parking lot after kissing Heidi good night, I was actually a bit shaky as I affirmed to a couple of friends that I can earn the money, above and beyond household expenses. I also received wise encouragement from my Sales Director Laurie, who didn't demand that my big goal be a Mary Kay ranking, though that will come too. She wisely realizes that my type of person has to have a spiritual goal to keep me motivated to work my business consistently.
Also, having a big, busy goal will fend off depression and dread that could take over as my husband rapidly loses so many of his abilities. God is here for me in ways I know I need, and ways that will become apparent as I walk forward, following Him .
Well, walking will be a theme for tomorrow, so I'll sign off to get some rest before our 5:30 wake-up call!!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
2:50 p.m. Today's project was to seek the assistance of either Steve's long term care insurance or his Care More Medicare plan for acquiring a wheelchair.
Am I being hasty? Or pronouncing doom on my husband's ability to walk? Not at all. The Lord has shown me to move forward for safety's sake, in the wake of the falling episodes Steve has had in the last two days. I am awaiting word from his neurologist as to what could be causing the falls, and from his primary care physician for a written request for the equipment.
I realized from studying Proverbs 8:12,
I, wisdom, dwell with prudence, and find out knowledge and discretion,
that I need to apply wisdom, prudence, knowledge and discretion! There is no reason to delay when the Lord's Holy Spirit is guiding, teaching and leading. Also, considering the bureaucracies in both private and public insurance sectors, one needs to be wise in allowing them to sort through their regulations, policies, and layers of administration, to make services available.
Much as we need service and support, I met a young mom who needs much more. She has never gone on public assistance, but her children have never had a Christmas tree or any gifts, except one year through a school program. She's new to the area, and has just one year left toward attaining her nursing degree. I began sharing with her about the difficulty our own church has had meeting food donation needs because so many are out of work now, but they still help as many as they can. People who used to give, are now asking. She and I talked about the Lord, I shared about tough times my kids have gone through on their own, and the ministries they are involved in. She was amazed that my youngest son and his girlfriend go street witessing in the worst parts of Fresno. We even got onto the falsehoods of the Mormons and Jehovah witnesses that come to her door in a low income area regularly.
I did mention to her that if she inquires in the local welfare office, they should be able to connect her with churches that are helping the poor. In her area, there happens to be a very strong coordination between the County and the churches. There is even a monthly food giveaway with large boxes given to each family in her neighborhood. I believe that program is headed up by a local church. Familiarity with our county's social safety net came from my leading the First 5 program for the Jurupa Unified School District. My meetings included all agencies whose work impacted families of preschoolers. I love the way we believers are placed by the Lord in areas of most need! Joseph said to the brothers who had sold him into slavery, after he had become vice-regent over Egypt and saved the nation and surrounding peoples from 7 years of famine:
But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive. (Genesis 50:20)
But what about those in other lands, especially India, who have no social safety net? Filth, degradation, prostitution and early death are the fates of children born into the Dalit, or Untouchables. Parents sell and abandon their children as a matter of practice. One mother sold her newborn for 10 pounds of rice, while admitting that she would still eventually die of starvation...I read this tragic story, as well as that of the toddler who was nursing from a mother dog in the street, in No Longer a Slumdog by K.P. Yohannon, distributed at our church preparatory to his teaching on November 13th.
My concerns are God's concerns, and certainly the concerns of the impoverished mom I met today are God's concerns, particularly that she come to know Jesus as her Savior. But how much more deserving of prayer and support and salvation are those who have no one! Their children are raped, enslaved, beaten and murdered with no recourse whatsoever. It reminds me of what Lamentations 3:45 calls (in regard to the exiled Israelites) "the offscouring and refuse of the earth."
Not all of us may be called to go to the mission field, but we all are called to learn of the conditions of those Jesus called "the least of these My brothers" (Matthew 25:40), pray and support those who are called to go!
Like Steve and I have discovered, even comfortably established Christians never know how soon they will need the support, prayers and assistance of others. So let us not trust in ourselves, or other human devices--let us pray and look to the Lord!
P.S. There's good news for us just now--our doctor approved a walker for Steve to start with!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
6:22 p.m. Today's project was to begin decisive steps in Steve's daily care at home.
For a few months, I have known that the day would come when I'd need a health aide to be present for Steve even when I'm in the house. The Lord has been revealing to me more strongly each week that the time has come. His running off a week ago Sunday, the death of our dog in a car accident, and his utter helplessness and panic when not guided or supervised in even simple daily activities of living, have finally made me take the step. It's time to listen and obey.
You shall walk after the LORD your God and fear Him, and keep His commandments and obey His voice; you shall serve Him and hold fast to Him. (Deuteronomy 13:4)
I was very perturbed by an incident this morning while Steve was getting ready for the day upstairs and I was downstairs having devotions. I only discovered the damage to our bathroom later when I needed to get myself dressed. With the help of Drano and Lysol bathroom cleaner and a bleach soak in the washing machine, the issues were resolved. But I did call the care agency to ask them to send a caregiver over, even though I had no outside appointments. And I think that along with his visit to the adult daycare center once or twice a week, having a caregiver in the house provides peace of mind for me, and safety for Steve.
For example, today Steve and his caregiver were pulling weeds in the garden, and doing an excellent job, which allowed me to send recruiting emails and make lots of calls. They suddenly came back in, and she said, "He's cut himself!" Steve went straight to the sink and was washing the wound, and I helped him pat the area dry with a clean paper towel, but no blood appeared at that point. So he must have scraped his hand on a piece of gravel and the surface wound only bled at the outset. 4 hours later, still no scab or blood, praise the Lord!
One thing the Lord brought to my attention today was that our long term care policy will pay for 8 hours of housekeeping one day a week. So I sent a copy of that paperwork with the caregiver back to the Brightstar at the scheduler's request. I'll just use one of their people, perhaps on the day when Steve's at Care Connexxus. The sound of mopping and dusting won't distract me from my writing research!
The rest of our day went well, with a visit to our daughter Heather's office and a run to Winco for dog food. Our dinner, more of a filling snack combo, was fun and peaceful, full of love and relaxed companionship. (The simmering chicken soup in the crockpot had an aroma that made it seem like tit was the meal, instead of a demo for tomorow's Heart to Home class)!
The rest of our evening was fun and loving as a married couple's time together should be, especially with a major worry off of my mind...May the Lord continue to lead, and may I listen!
Sunday, October 23, 2011
3:50 p.m. Today's project was to type up my recipe for "Killer Chicken Soup" for Heart to Home on Tuesday. Wendy Simmons, Kay Wardell and I are teaching the class "Welcome Winter with Delicious Soups" in the kitchen at Calvary Chapel Moreno Valley. At the last count before today's sign-ups, we had six ladies coming. We can take up to 12 because Wendy, a professional kitchen manager at University of California Riverside, is going to show them how to prepare her "Hearty Hodgepodge." Kay will bring her "Spaghetti Soup" and her "Tuscan Potato Soup." The two of us will bring our soups prepared and keep them warm to serve in sample portions. They'll taste Chef Wendy's soup too.
Christians value our fellowship meals together, a tradition begun in the Early Church in the Book of Acts. Acts 2:42, 44-46 says of the apostles and the three thousand new believers who responded to Peter's sermon,
They continued steadfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and in the breaking of bread, and in prayers. ... Now all who believed were together, and had all things in common, and sold their possessions and goods and divided them among all, as anyone had need. So continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved.
You'll notice the double emphasis on "breaking bread" together. It's so enjoyable to share a meal with Christ at the center. With family, or with my Christian family, there is a delicious bond!
As a food lover, vegetable gardener, wife and mom, I love to cook and entertain; and as a Bible teacher and retired elementary school teacher, I love to show meaning and methods to others.
The little problem I had with offering my chicken soup recipe is that up until an hour ago, there was no recipe!
After several decades of cooking beginning during my own elementary years with my mother until today, I've gone from absolute following of recipes to the letter--and I still do with some dishes--to ad libbing, substituting and changing recipes to suit our food allergies and preferences. I've personally been eating low-carb style for at least 5 years, and my recipe reflects that. Right now, as Steve and I have only ourselves to worry about, I often throw stuff into a pot or pan and see what emerges. Then I season it nicely, make adjustments and voila! Another dinner invention! For us old hands, that's fine, but I wouldn't suggest that to new brides or young wives! Why be discouraged by the results of an experiment when you can just open one of the many cookbooks you received as wedding gifts and be assured of success?
At Home Fellowship, it was Kay's turn to provide the meal. Her taco pie and 7-layer dip with chips and salsa were amazing. Can't wait to try her soups. Of course, now I need to figure out something acceptable for the group a couple weeks from now!!
On the way to Sprouts organic supermarket, I told Steve how wonderful it was that the Lord led him to take our family to Calvary Chapel for the last eight years of his illness, where he has been able to make more friends in a smaller setting. Those friends are coming alongside us both in prayer, encouragement and practical help, just as scripture teaches us as a church to treat one another. (And as we have done for others in the past).
So we don't just meet around food, or worship, or formal Bible study--we meet to express the heart of Jesus to one another!
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
At first, I considered leaving off the part of the verse about forgiveness, but a great part of this week was about just that subject, above and beyond the shock and grief. Forgiveness was in order this week--forgiving myself for not getting a spring latch to keep the gate shut for lack of money and no one here to install it; forgiving Steve for leaving the gate open and delaying going after the escaped dogs (not his fault, but his disease); forgiving myself for leaving Steve unsupervised in the yard while I showered; forgiving myself for failing in this new requirement for me as caregiver.
Steve has moved on, I guess, perhaps already forgetting that we had two dogs. I'm not sure whether to mention Bailey to him or not, because he'll then have to remember how she died. Jada is getting better, although she especially seems to need to know that one or both of us is home. Steve's presence at home all day today was good for her.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Next for the day was to get back to Jada, whom I'd crated for the 2 hours I was gone, to keep her from howling outside the whole time. I let her out, and then took a quick rest downstairs in the family room, positioning myself on the love seat so she could see me. So she stared at me from the other side of the sliding glass patio. Then up again to get dressed in "Mary Kay attire" (white blouse, black skirt, and my red jacket) for Laurie's Cadillac delivery. I once again put Jada in her crate in the garage and went to pick up Steve to join me at the dealership, which is right down the street from Care Connexxus. He came out in a good mood.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
Sunday, October 16, 2011
2:29 p.m. Today's project was to spend a nice afternoon together having lunch, clipping Sunday coupons, sprucing up the house a bit, and then going to our new Home Fellowship.
We enjoyed a wonderful mid-morning service at church, and I saw and talked with so many friends, who also made sure to say hi to Steve. His men's Bible study friends greeted him with hugs as well. Before and after church I had lots of excited conversations about our Heart to Home ministry and the next two classes, "3-in-1 necklace," which I'll be taking; and "Welcome Winter with Delicious Soups" for which I am one of the three instructors. (our last cooking class is picutured to the left). I also had a good visit with Candy, one of my Mary Kay consultants, and with Nidia, who hopes to get signed up this month.
We sat behind Heidi and Pavel, and were able to give them 2 homegrown green Bell peppers, and collect two DVDs that belong to her sister Heather after the service. Debi and Bob Snyder found their green peppers in a bag with a note on the hood of their blue Jaguar--a small thank you for Bob's taking Steve out to a movie on Friday night.
Psalm 122 says, and I concur:
I was glad when they said to me,
"Let us go into the house of the Lord."
There is something so strengthening about singing praises to Jesus, listening to the teaching of the Word of the Father, and receiving understanding by the power of His Holy Spirit! How we need that strength, because you can be sure that as we descend from the mountaintop of His glorious presence, evil, sickness, confusion and despair await us in our everyday lives!How do people cope without Jesus?
At Winco, the discount grocery, Steve became rebellious about walking side-by-side with me and the cart, dragging along several feet behind. When I stopped to wait for him to cover the large gap between us, he demanded, "So, you're doing this again?!" I reminded him, as I have done many, many times, that if I just kept walking at my normal pace, I might round a corner and he'd get lost. So he settled back down, we went on with our shopping, and met up with plenty of acquaintances before we left with our groceries.
Lunch was going well until Steve did some vacuuming, and then broke the Oreck, as far as I can tell, because it was suddenly taken apart. We cannot afford another vacuum cleaneror even to get replacement parts or a repair done. The last hour or so, he's been emptying the bag and cleaning up around the garage, but not putting the appliance back together. I didn't witness him taking it apart, so I don't know how one would reconnect it! That vacuum has run faithfully with no coddling for about 20 years, so I am praying Steve will find it in his brain to put it back together. That seems to be all that's needed, because the vacuum was working! Prayer and more prayer is needed, friends! Prayer for me to use good judgment as to what Steve should be allowed to do as his disease progresses...
Next on the radar is my youngest son Steven in Fresno, who has been violently ill since yesterday when he left work early. He can't afford his work's insurance, but I told him if he goes to a County Hospital, they are obligated to treat him, and can arrange for emergency Medi-Cal (or is it called Healthy Families)? Public welfare isn't our family's way, but since we pay taxes to the State of California, we should use what we've paid for as a last resort, which this is!
Back at the ranch, only the Lord knows how things will turn out with the vacuum. I texted my oldest son, who is very mechanical, to please try to come over and help his dad one morning next week. How grateful I am that God has created my kids with so many talents, talents that I surely don't have!
Time to check on Steve, and make sure we are ready for our home Fellowship, a time so sorely needed for encouragement, loving concern, and assistance in keeping our focus on Jesus, not our difficulties! It urns out, that Steve just took off walking around the neighborhood without saying a thing to me, or taking the dogs! He figured out that the back door hasn't got an alarm beep on it, so in the five minutes since I last checked on his progress with the vacuum cleaner, he disappeared! He walked into the front yard just as I stepped out the door, preparing to call 911!
While I am relieved and happy that he is all right and safe, we are now entering a very bad stage of his disease, and I'll need counsel--and probably mechanical arrangements-- as to preventing this kind of incident from recurring. NO ONE can watch another human being 24 hours a day, as I've just discovered. And NO ONE can keep a mentally unstable person calm and stable--only the Lord can change a person's mind and heart whether they are functional or dysfunctional. The Lord has a solution, of this I am sure! But the ultimate solution is that our lives here on earth are just a passing shadow as 2 Corinthians 4:17 reminds me:
For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
Thank You, Lord!!