How did we find him?

1:54 p.m. Today's project was to meet with Robin, head of women's ministry at our church, and connect with one another around ways to best serve the needs we encounter. Our talk coalesced around the formation of a helps ministry. This would be different than the ministry already overseen by our pastors that meets food, shelter and safety needs while evangelizing and/or exhorting the needy in biblical principles. (Although we would certainly defer to and coordinate with the pastoral staff).

We are praying about me being available on call, and forming a team of godly, reliable women who would visit, encourage, assist and uplift hurting women who have no other support, are isolated, perhaps ill, but need someone to show them the love of Christ and a sister's heart of compassion and friendship. I would be honored to help provide that caring touch that Jesus Himself so exemplified. "As He is, so are we in this world," I John 4:17 says. We can love others because we are in Him, having boldness, not fear, as believers.

I am keeping this new opportunity to serve in prayer, and an exciting prayer it is at my stage in life where I have the time, and Steve, although benefitting from our companionship, does not require supervision. God's timing is always correct; His "gifts and calling are without repentance." (Romans 11:29) How grateful I am that God has chosen me to be saved and sanctified by the blood of the Lamb, and that He would consider me fit to serve Him in any way at all!

Steve is in a very good place, relatively speaking, with his Alzheimer's, able to be independent with some added structure, reminders, and detailed directions from me, functioning almost like a regular retiree. We were actually skipping crazily yesterday down a walkway at California Adventure, so his physical coordination is fairly good, also attested by his two mile walk with the dogs each day.

Not so with Larry, Steve's older brother who, at age 57, has lost his ability to speak in sentences and requires assistance in the home for his basic needs. When we visited yesterday, we met Antoine, the home healthcare assistant who is present three days a week, to relieve Sharon, the oldest sibling, and Mike, our brother-in-law. We wondered if he'd know us, but his eyes did light up, even though he never spoke our names. I showed Larry our Christmas photos, but he soon lost interest, probably because I had to turn the pages for him and was describing people and places he no longer recognized. Cousins Charlene and Stephanie were there, adding to Larry's enjoyable time.

I would be kidding myself if I thought that Larry is always as cheerful and alert as he was at seeing his beloved little brother Steve and being in the midst of talkative, exuberant family members. There wouldn't be a need for professional care if that were the case. He has undoubted acquired compensatory skills to mask confusion and to appear involved in conversation. I know that Steve definitely works hard to be a part of household and church activities, asking questions and trying to focus on others' words and actions. In social settings, Steve will generally emulate the actions and mood, or "vibe" of others present, to the point that strangers wouldn't realize he has a problem. I give him so much credit--what a struggle it must be!

One very blessed thing I have noticed about Steve from the earliest days of our courtship, is that he never forgets the lyrics to a praise song! Now, I love to sing, but even with years of choir training, and serving on worship teams, I'll have lyrics slip my mind while I'm worshiping. But not Steve! Thirty years after we met, he is still confidently praising His Lord! Steve must have thousands of songs at his disposal--every word at the ready. As for new songs? He picks them up quickly and memorizes them within a few hearings. And he sings in tune! Many were the times we sang to our kids and taught them the hymns of the churches we grew up in, along with the praise songs that Calvary Chapels use.

Alzheimers is said to shorten life expectancy, and maybe it will affect Steve in that way. But heaven will welcome this well-equipped choir member with open arms!

Happy to help

9:36 a.m. Today's project was to hop out of bed early (6:30) so I could follow Heidi to the Mazda dealer across town. She has taken the day off to get her car serviced. $76! That's why I buy American: Moss Motors only charges me $19.95--$21.95 for an oil change, tuneup, wiper blade change, and wash for the Jeep! Granted, that's with coupons for "valued customers," but $76 is Mazda's "special" price, too! Oh well, adults can make their own decisions as long as they pay for them. I just welcome the opportunities that have arisen for helping both of my daughters, along with expanded opportunities for women's ministry and writing! I will be also be assisting Heidi in a more important way--praying for her as she writes her devotional for Saturday morning at the Young Adults' retreat.

We had pretty smooth traffic going west on the 91, a surprise to me at 8 a.m. Traffic coming east was slow, though. Pavel, Heidi's boyfriend, was commenting last night that on his way to work from La Sierra to San Bernardino, he does hit traffic, and I remembered my much shorter drive from home in the 7:00-7:30 hour to the radiation facility at Waterman and Highland six years ago as busy, but not bumper-to-bumper. If busy traffic means jobs, then I'm all for it! The Lord knows our Inland Empire has been among the hardest hit by this deep recession, with so many jobs having been dependent on the construction industry. We would all do well to thank the Lord for income, and pray for, help, and encourage those who are in the process of losing everything! We might even be led to "take a portion" of food, clothing, or offer babysitting time to jobseekers, much as the Jews did in this week's lesson on Esther 9:19.

I am definitely grateful for the ability to be at home with Steve, which I believe is totally by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, and made possible by God's provision of several sources of income. I see a lessening of depression over his Alzheimer's, and a willingness to take the initiative with tasks at home, beyond the written suggestions I provide each day. Even though he has always been one to love fellowship, Steve had shied away from Tuesday night's Men's Study because of embarassment at falling asleep. He has now rejoined, so we have wonderful Tuesday nights together, with me at Piecemakers down the hall from the men's study.

Steve is most excited about our Disneyland passes, and is planning for us to go later today--inclement weather not withstanding! I think we'll leave about 2:00 and see how the weather is in the O.C. at that time.

We do have a more serious errand down there, which is to visit Larry, Steve's older brother, now, at 57, in the full debilitaing throes of Alzheimer's. Larry now resembles a very frail elderly man, and needs constant care. Steve's oldest sister Sharon will be there, for her "shift" that begins at 3:30 while Larry's wife Michaele works. Will Larry recognize us? We don't get together that often, because the raucous August party we throw here annually would just be too much for him (I could have given the littlekids' banging on my piano a miss myself!) and Steve got sick the day of his family's post-Christmas get-together.

Other siblings take turns with Larry, as they all live in Orange. Sometimes I wonder if we should assist, but I'm not sure whaat effect this would have on Steve, and I'll observe and measure that today. My stated determination is to keep Steve upbeat and optimistic in the Lord, looking forward to the adventures of each day we have together. I also am seeing subtle improvements in his communication and memory, thanks to some supplements a dear sister from my Bible study heard about a short while ago, and a few cholesterol/heart medications Steve's doctor has put him on, in a kind of experiment. Now that I'm seeing some results, I'll take the list down to Michaele--no sense recommending extremely expensive health food store supplements if there's nothing but hype and disappointment to be gained.

Perhaps, as King David prayed for his sick baby son in II Samuel "Who can tell whether the Lord will be gracious to me, that the child may live? " Perhaps the Lord will intervene miraculously for Steve!

Otherwise, we will both face the inevitable, with courage only possible for believers in Christ--true courage, not worldly bravado, courage born of knowing a gracious God who always acts in his children's best interests with eternal purposes in mind.

Bound and done!

5:21 p.m. Today's project was to meet my dear friend DeAnna over at Joanna's fabric and craft store off of Day Street, to purchase quilt binding for my "two hour quilt" that's taken four years!

The trip was contingent on my final recovery from the migraine that had plagued me all day yesterday, ending in vomiting, sorry to have to mention. I had missed Bible study last night and today, so getting past the nausea and dizziness was top priority. I also was due at a meeting at church to help formulate a new ministry for moms, and I did not want to miss discussing and giving my input! "Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors is safety," scripture says, and we will follow the Word in the Women's Ministry at Calvary Chapel Moreno Valley!

I just love my friends I've made over the thirty years I've been in the Lord! Each one is so unique, from physical appearance, age, shape, family background and current circumstances. My girlfriends, in particular, come alongside me and help me in areas of lack, such as sewing (!) and I come alongside them with my talents of biblical encouragement and teaching the Word.

DeAnna taught the two-hour quilt class the second year of Heart to Home. Having previously taught classes for the Singer Company in Redlands. She is able to troubleshoot and take apart any machine, and quilts beautifully. DeAnna makes quilts for her own grandchildren, the children and grandchildren of friends, and today she mentioned quietly that she'll be making a lap quilt for a young lady who serves them sweetly at their family's favorite restaurant! She is truly all heart.

After a few years of daily babysitting her grandsons, she and Kenny were able to take a 7-day trip with our RV crowd to Shaver Lake in August and then a much-deserved month of travel to Florida to see a shuttle launch. We rejoiced for her, while we missed her sweet smile and handiness at Piecemakers.

Our Tuesday night Piecemakers' group meets while our husbands attend Men's Bible study down the hall. Those friends have encouraged Steve with patience and good humor, and now he has returned to the Bible study, confident once again!

Tonight all eyes will be agape at the possible completion of my "forever quilt " and those ladies are the reason I've kept it going. That quilt is a picture of the slow, patient development of friendships and support for one another.

Hebrews 10:24 says, "Let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another and so much the more as you see the Day approaching."

And that Day is approaching!

Works every time it's tried

3:59 p.m. Today's project started out to be putting away the Christmas ornaments, from a tree that got itself cut up and put into the "green waste dumpster."

That project was nearly accomplished when I took a break for lunch. My salad of fresh greens from the garden, cooked chicken, and buttermilk ranch dressing smelled and tasted funny, and I ended up dumping it out. Then on came a bout of the "headache that wouldn't go away." Add a slight dizziness, and I knew I was about to get my quarterly migraine! I quickly asked my many believing Facebook friends to pray. I really wanted to attend Bible study tonight at seven.

Carefully heading upstairs to lie down, I remembered the generic Imitrex medication that is very effective in stopping migraines if taken early enough in the process. I hadn't experienced a migraine for a bout 6 months, so I'd forgotten to be alert to the warning signals: a headache that Advil can't handle is the main one, and a dizzy feeling can accompany it. I took the pill and lay down.

A text message dinged from son Kriss, saying that he and his wife Marisela couldn't join us at Disneyland this week. I answered okay, and thought, "I'll just text all the kids and ask them to pray, too." Then came a couple of hours of rest, with a window open and a cool fan blowing on the foot of my bed. I was truly "dead to the world."

I'm up now, still a bit headachey, but upright and drinking some coffee as Kriss recommended. We'll see how the evening unfolds, whether Heidi and I can make the nice dinner I'd planned and then join the ladies at 7 p.m. for study. I am trusting what Isaiah 58:8-9 says to those who serve the Lord in righteousness:

"Your light shall break forth like the morning,

Your healing shall spring forth speedily,

And your righteousness shall go before you.

The glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.

Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer;

You shall cry, and He will say, 'Here I am.' "

Fresh greens

2:43 p.m. Today's project was to see how the garden is progressing, other than just looking out of my office window! I hadn't gardened since last Sunday, when we had our grandsons out to help us weed.

I got up from prayer yesterday morning, looked through the office blinds and began to head out there but checked myself. "I have to get to the wedding!" Today I was treated to a wonderful sight. The flowers that I'd thinned last week hardly look like it because they're back in full force, enjoying the mild weather. Can't wait until they bloom! I just saw one pretty nasturtium so far.

Some of my leaf lettuce was ready for picking, a gorgeous light lime color. I even have pea pods filling in since last week, volunteers from last summer's garden, totally out of season. I have to hand it to those peas, normally a summer crop: they are "instant in and out of season," just like God expects us to be in sharing God's Word, always ready and willing! (II Timothy 4:2) When I consider that I was bellyaching just last week about my slow lettuce, commiserating about it with my married daughter whose housemates have a garden, I have to laugh, amazed at the steady pace of growth God designs. Just like my children each made their progress toward the day of delivery, it's His timing that will come to pass with my winter crops!

Personal responsibilities that seem to steadily increase or at least persist, activating visions for women's ministry at church and writing a Bible study on the Letter to the Hebrews are this year's priorities. How grateful I am that God has been quietly working behind the scenes in His creation, needing no help from me at all! Diligence in all areas of life is an expectation for all believers, but God gives us the free will and freedom to prioritize our duties and to pursue our interests. I praise the Lord that I was able to retire, be home for Steve, and have more time for ministry than I have in many years. I am also enjoying renewed friendships from past years, enhanced fellowship with our Piecemaker and RV'ing friends, as well as being allowed to mentor and encourage struggling women of all ages.

God is working in many areas of my life in seen and unseen ways. My heavenly Father, whom Isaiah 28:29b describes, as "wonderful in counsel and excellent in guidance," will do just that for me and for you--counsel and guide!

The end of an era

4:20 p.m. Today's project was to rise up after a fitful night's sleep in which I dreamed that we found Steve's lost dress shoes, and figure out what to do about Steve's lost dress shoes!! We had to get ready and formally dressed for Shea and Mike Rendles's wedding at 11:00.

We had gone to bed on edge because Steve had lost the simple black dress shoes we bought him for Megan and Thomas Renck's wedding in September. This happened after we needed to watch a Youtube video on tying a necktie, a skill Steve had successfully done his whole life until recently. We pre-tied it and that hurdle was cleared, praise God. Just a bit stressful!

I had gotten out Steve's best wool suit earlier in the week, making sure there was no need to get it cleaned, and that his longsleeved white shirt was clean and unwrinkled. Therefore, I thought he was all set for the wedding. Not until last night when we were setting everything out did I think about his dress loafers. No reason why I would--he just has the one pair, and it was a fair assumption that they'd have been in his closet since September 13th.

Well, you know what they say about the word "assume!" I apparently am a slow learner, because assuming logical conclusions to given events and sensible actions has been a thing of the past around here for a while now. My brain keeps up its logical, step-by-step habits, so I need to remind myself that Steve isn't tracking that way any more. I also need to apply the Lord's thinking as Jeremiah 29:11-13 makes clear to His people Israel:

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for me with all your heart."

We were both seeking and praying, and I went to bed pondering what to do. Get up early, run down to Payless and get another identical pair? (Unh-unh!) See which son might have borrowed them? (None of them had). Have Steve wear tan suede shoes with his suit? (Nope). Or get down the new black athletic shoes I had stashed in my side of the closet for his Valentine's gift? I was resigned to this option, showed them to Steve, and he liked them. The shoes wouldn't look right with a dress suit, but that was the best we could do. Was that the answer? Logically speaking, yes.

But God had a different answer after all. When Steve went upstairs after breakfast to brush his teeth, he yelled out, "I found my shoes!" What?! We'd torn our bedroom apart last night! He had no explanation for why he had boxed up the shoes and hidden them under the foot of our bed. He had even searched under the bed with a flashlight, but apparently never checked that area. Praise the Lord--His thoughts are not anything like ours, but, also unlike ours, His results are always perfect! Steve and I went on to have a great time at both the wedding and the reception.

This post is titled "end of an era," because it truly is. Sweet Shea has been our houseguest for several months, becoming so dear and precious to our family. I had joined in prayer with her over every aspect of her life--school, the long job hunt, wedding plans. I was honored to provide a motherly shoulder to cry on, just like with my Heidi and Heather. Watching Shea struggle prayerfully and courageously with joblessness, homelessness, and even car-lessness, encouraged us all, and built up my faith. When she suddenly got two mall jobs, and then a good permanent job with Loma Linda University Medical Center, you could have heard us screaming with joy around the block!

Shea is now Mrs. Mike Rendle, and I couldn't be more proud and happy for their godly union! But it is tough to lose a daughter to marriage, even an "adopted" one!

But she still needs to come back over to get the last of the clothes from her closet--she's only gone for a while. And that's a praise report!

Mrs. Cleanjeans

2:30 p.m. Today's project was to restore some order to the house, continue the Christmas takedown, and clean the kitchen floor in preparation for the various members of Shea's family and bridal party who might be stopping by to help her move her wedding reception favors to Grove Community Church for a 4:00 p.m. setup.

My dad came over as I got back from depositing some Mary Kay earnings at the bank to pick up his Christmas gift: washable (! ) leather walking shoes. I had bought his first pair 1 - 1/2 sizes too small, but a perfect fit for our oldest son Sean. So I ordered a new pair for Daddy and hid a surprise black pair for Steve's Valentine's Day gift.

I got started on my reorganization jag when I could not find a tube of Neosporin ointment for a small cut; in fact, the first aid kit we'd kept in a kitchen drawer was gone. Steve looked for it in the RV, but came back with two much nicer containers that I must have moved the contents of the old cracked box into. And there was the generic ointment.

Looking up in the cupboard above this desktop computer, I found myself in a classic predicament. The cloth basket in which we keep everything from finger-and-toenail clippers to baby medicine measuring spoons--yes, our youngest child is 21, and youngest grandchild, 12--was a bulging mess, a mix of canine and human medicine. I knew that even the Coppertone sunscreens were expired. Checking the dates on meds was sure to be convicting, and even potentially dangerous. How many strengths of Naproxen would we ever use? Seems the Express Scripts Rx mailing service had an overstock and must have sent most of it to Steve. (We're Advil people, anyway).

It was time to give lots of items the heave-ho. Doesn't the Lord often use fairly minor happenings to bring a major case of neglectfulness to our attention? He loves His people that much! Psalm 121:3 says of the Lord, "He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber." There is nothing like the care of our Lord!

My predicament was this: if I were to move one thing, and not remove every item from the cupboard, it would all tumble down on my head! Aack! I would have to go all the way and completely reorganize that cupboard and the three medicine containers. Out went the Coppertone, duplicate empty boxes of cold medicines and vitamins, wart removers, medicine droppers, ancient Q-tips, expired prescriptions and old unopened laxatives. Cough drops and Tylenol cold meds were consolidated. Peroxide, wart and ear drops, witch hazel and current tanning products went to the guest bathroom medicine cabinet, along with a spare Union Jack nail clipper I bought in London a few years back. The other fully stocked first aid kit is now back in the RV.

In the kitchen first aid kit went treatments for the kinds of regular ailments we get, as well as an eyeglass repair kit, bandages, and tape for said bandages. Antibiotic ointment, spray, Zicam, eye drops, and a wrist support are there also, with Immodium and Digestive Advantage IBS pills for a couple of family members. The Sea-band anti-travel sickness armbands went into the RV. Allergy medication is ready for the spring onslaught.

On the plus side, I saved the purchase price of flea drops that I would have had to spend, in order to apply to Bailey and Jada for prevention. Doggie toenail clippers and the ear and eye drops they occasionally need were there. My cleaning was already showing a profit!

I'm feeling pretty good about my efforts, but as I looked at the shelf above, I saw craft and painting items and curling ribbon on one side; business items on the other. Is there anything worse than filing paperwork? Moving arts and crafts supplies around isn't very fun either, but I expect I'll glean some finds there, too. If no particular occasion arises for creativity, I just get in crafty moods and will put together anything that appeals to my whim, "just in case" someone needs a cheery little something. Looks like clearing that shelf is now on my radar screen!

First, however, a genuine paperwork hassle is speeding my way. By making an appointment with a Christian attorney to work on a living trust for Steve and myself, I'll be forced to gather our documentation in a timely manner. It's an incontrovertible fact of life that "due diligence" always comes due!