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Friday, July 2, 2010

Mixed feelings


2:42 p.m. Today's project was to demo a new Mary Kay summer bronzing stick at the beauty and nail salons I patronize, Upper Echelon and American Nails. That way, on advice of my sharp tax advisor Patty, I claim business mileage every time I go to get prettified! So I show new products weekly, even if it's just putting on my own makeup while under the hair dryer or while having my pedicure. Today was a blessing, because I delivered a large order that made the day profitable even after I paid for my services. That is the second large order customers placed with me in the last week! I Peter 5:7 tells me to cast all of my care upon God, because He cares for me. And He surely does!

In a week when there's not much good financial news for us, God has moved in our family's lives in powerful ways that can only be the work of the Holy Spirit! Whether it was the fresh and frank discussion about my son's faith that we had in Long Beach; our youngest son taking a very risky step of faith up in Fresno, giving 2 weeks' notice at the job that schedules him for Sundays every week; the harmonious atmosphere we all enjoyed that made Heidi's wedding gown selection a real "God-thing;" Vacation Bible School, exhausting but gratifying to my soul; Heather and Nick stepping out on faith despite drastic changes in their circumstances; a wonderful time of ministry at my Thrusday Bible study; Brenda headed off to China on an English teaching/missions trip; a fun 3 day visit from Heidi's best friend Charise; and best of all, I get to pick up my grandsons to help me at VBS! They'll be staying through Sunday!!

Not all of this week's family times were good, though, but as Job said, and I'm paraphrasing, "should we not accept bad as well as good things from the Lord?" (Job 2:10) On the not-so-great side, Steve has been very disoriented with his Alzheimer's today. I think it's because I couldn't get to our clock radio in time to shut it off [I was already up] so he had to hustle and take off his C-Pap mask and assembly, get over to my side of the California King bed, and turn it off. He hasn't set or turned off my alarm in many years, and on top of that, I have KFI coming on quite loudly. I'm not one to oversleep! It's tuned to KFI on because unlike FM or other AM stations, its signal is super strong and I've never known it to go down. So it was a jarring experience for Steve, who often wakes up disoriented for no apparent reason anyway, like coming downstairs dressed for yard work on Sunday morning, or ready for church on a day for gardening. Not a good start, though, especially since I work so hard to make his days go as smoothly as possible.

We went on to have our daily devotions, and all was going well until I was mixing up our scrambled eggs, with sausage, fresh tomato, Velveeta, green salsa, ready to cook in butter, when I asked him, "would you please go pick me one of the tiny green hot chile peppers from one plant behind the corn?" After he asked me more questions, I described the plant in detail: "The peppers are light green and stick straight up from the bush. Nothing looks like it in the whole garden." After a while, I went out to check, and Steve was there with 3 unripe small Bell peppers, looking confused. I took him to see where the hot peppers were, and he just broke down. I told him I'd chop up the bell peppers and use them later, and we went in to have breakfast. It's hard to realize that he isn't absorbing details when he's listening, looking at me, and even asking clarifying questions. Another lesson learned about lowering my expectations, something I am not gifted at, because God calls us to be our best for Him, to the extent of our abilities, to give 100%.
So each day, I need to discover what the extent of Steve's abilities are, and arrange his day accordingly, with the Lord's mercy, grace and help that He gives me unstintingly!
Many great and marvelous things are happening in the spiritual realm for our family, and some distressing things are happening in the practical realm.
That's why this is called "earth" and not "heaven!"

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