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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

A sad kind of letter









4:24 p.m. Today's project was to update one of our pastors on Steve's condition. The reason for the update is the upcoming plan for the men's Bible study Steve attends.
For the past two years, Steve has attended the study taught by Pastor Brent with several friends, like Kenny, John, Tim, Van, Jim, Steve, Mark, and Ernie. While he's at the study downstairs, I enjoy our ladies' Piecemakers quilting/stitiching/cooking/crafting group that meets in the kitchen upstairs in Calvary Chapel Moreno Valley's school building. When the Heart to Home ministry has classes on Tuesday evenings (often taught by the Piecemakers) I open those crafting classes with prayer and a devotional. But the nice aspect of it all is that the men's study and the women's get-togethers meet in the the same time frame and location, so that his friends can make sure that I find him after their study is done, preventing him from getting confused and walking the wrong direction. God truly has blessed us with these ministries!!
Because of the mens's study and Piecemakers happening at the same time, Steve and I have formed friends as couples, and we enjoy parties, camping trips several times a year, and dinners together. We room together at Ladies' Retreat; DeAnna made the flower girl's dress and Christine made the ringbearer's pillow for my Heather's wedding in 2008. We celebrate together as grandkids are born, counsel one another in the tough times with teens and young adults, and laugh over the craft projects we make for women's ministry events. As for the men, Steve has total understanding and support from his friends at Bible study who keep him situated. When we are all camping, Tim and Neil help tone down his frustration when he runs into technical difficulties. Since Steve and my extended families live out of the area, we've been blessed by the words of Proverbs 27:10: "Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother who is afar off."
There's been a change in direction with the men's study that will affect Steve drastically, however. Last night, he carried with him the new Romans written Bible study that they will begin using next week. The corporate gathering will break up into smaller groups to discuss the homework they'll complete in between meetings. Our women's Bible studies have used that format for many years, both at Harvest, where I taught and served, and at Calvary Chapel as well. The men last did this kind of study a few years ago, and Steve couldn't keep up well, because he was already having trouble writing. Because of struggles at work, and after his firing from Mission Plastics, the discouragement and sense of failure he felt because of his Alzheimer's made another task added to the constant job searches, interviews, and short-lived jobs he was fired from one after the other just too much.

My attendance on Tuesdays became a bit sporadic, but we stayed connected to our friends. When the study returned to the large group format, with worship and all gathered together without lessons to complete, Steve returned. What a difference it made, a year or two later down the road with his disease. At this point, Steve doesn't drive, and is really struggling with confusion and forgetfulness, not even necessarily knowing where we are going until we arrive at church. But once he's there, the guys welcome him with big hugs, get him seated, and he's one of the guys--fully enjoying the evening's Bible study and worship. We ladies join the men for their semi-annual potlucks, too! Hebrews 10:25 reminds us "not [to be] forsaking the assembling of ourselves together," and Steve and I don't.
But last night was most likely Steve's last, we both realized, as we looked through the new Romans study, an excellent one, I am confident, because it was written by Janis Vance, a fellow women's ministry friend from Harvest years ago. Steve can no longer write, even finding the transfer of a word out of the Bible onto one of my I Samuel studies an hourlong chore. He started out early this summer doing one verse a day, but as of last week, his struggle was unbearable to watch. I pull up the Horizon online daily devotional with scripture readings for him, a good, accessible option for him now.
Psalm 119:127 describes our family's dedication to God's Word exactly: "I love Your commandments more than gold, yes, than fine gold!" Steve will glean that Word in any form he can until his dying day!
I was weeping as I wrote to Pastor Brent this afternoon, describing Steve's current condition and letting him know why he won't be seeing Steve any more on Tuesday nights. Not only can Steve not write, but he can't express himself sufficiently for small group interaction. His sentences tend to trail off as he forgets how he started. I'll make sure to keep an eye out for other men's ministry events to take Steve to. We are very much enjoying a second year at Mark Murdaugh's home fellowship where everybody knows Steve's condition, and he can enjoy the Word and discussion without verbally participating. And of course, he very much enjoys Sunday worship services!
As always, Steve and I are going forward expectantly, knowing God has great things planned for us! How can we do that? Because Timothy 1:7 says, "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind."
God's plans for us are unfailingly good. We will see how they unfold, knowing that anything we must give up will be replaced by something one hundred times better! God loves us that much.

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