Sunday, January 15, 2012

Red => White

7:39 p.m. Today's project was to attend the 9:45 service at our church. Steve was looking especially nice today in a rust-colored silk long sleeved shirt, and I had brought out my yellow "safari" style warm shirt that I had to iron, it's been so long since we had cold weather! But no worries--we get up just as early on Sunday morning as the rest of the week to let the caregiver in, so we enjoy a pretty relaxed morning.

We heard a convicting message from our pastor based on Jesus' words to His disciples not long before His arrest in the Garden of Gethsemane:

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. (John 13:34-35)  

In a series exhorting us to behavior worthy of the family of Christ, we looked also at Ephesians 4:31-32:

Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

I highlighted the "kindness" part, because I find myself sorely lacking in that quality at times when some household fiasco happens that would have been unthinkable before Alzheimer's took away Steve's ability to think and function as a normal adult. (Or even function as well as an Early Stage Alzheimer's victim).  Home disasters take a much higher emotional toll on the spouse who is already overwhelmed with 100% of all household responsibilities!

Just last Sunday afternoon, Steve and I were alone at home because our guest Jung was out touring the Los Angeles Garment District. Whether she is home or not, Jung's contract states that she is to have her own private bedroom and bath. So one of our upstairs bathrooms is off-limits, which I had tell Steve repeatedly.  But he still keeps trying to use it, when I need him to stay downstairs, and use our guest bathroom when  I am downstairs. Around 1 p.m., I had just called Steve downstairs from another attempt to use her bathroom, helped him out in the guest bath, and returned both of us to the family room.

Checking on laundry, I went towards the garage, passing under a light, when I felt something drip on my head, then more and more and more--there was water pouring down through the ceiling!I tore upstairs to find Jung's bathroom sink overflowing, and the floor flooded! Steve had left the hot water faucet on, and apparently plugged the sink. I was thinking, "great--my gas bill next month!" while sopping up the water with the one extra towel I found in the linen closet. I yelled down to him from the banisters, "RUN GET SOME TOWELS FROM THE GARAGE!!"

He slowly walked the opposite direction into the kitchen!

"The GARAGE! Go to the Garage!! The GARAGE!" I kept yelling, and then I ran downstairs past him and got a pile of towels. Steve was practically scared to death, even though I wasn't yelling AT him, but TO him, because I was upstairs and he was down, and the radio was on. Also, I was running through the house, so it was obviously urgent and to him, scary. Once he saw me mopping up water with the towels, he joined in.

I was by no means proud of my behavior, so I confessed my anger--rage?--to the Lord and apologized to Steve after we prayed together. My 3:15 facial appointment arrived and we had a lovely time; and later, our oldest son brought over our grandsons for a visit. So despite my manifesting several of the unchristian behaviors in the Ephesians passage--wrath, anger, clamor--God Himself was faithful. Steve and I also manifested better conduct, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave us both of our sins over three decades ago.

That bathroom is now locked when Jung isn't here!
As I look at the white swatch sewn onto Heidi's wedding gown from mine, I'm reminded  to rejoice in what God says to His people in Isaiah 1:18:

Come now, and let us reason
Says the LORD,
"Though your sins are like scarlet,
They shall be as white as snow;
Though they are red like crimson,
They shall be as wool."

No comments:

Post a Comment