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Friday, August 31, 2012

All the missing people

10:41 p.m. Today's project was to continue arrangements for Steve's upcoming move to Raincross.

At 3 p.m., I welcomed in a team of evaluators whose job was to question Steve and determine if he'd be suitable for their setting.  He took it remarkably well considering he couldn't answer more than one out of twenty basic questions.  He did get up to go out back with his caregiver, because when asked if there were too many women in there,  he told the caregiver yes, "And besides," he continued, "I've got a wife!" We got a big laugh out of that one. His declaration is ironic, though, because our family's agreed-upon plan will end up separating him from his wife, and that's going to be hard--for both of us. We discussed the furniture I'd be bringing, the date and time, and keeping Steve occupied away from the house while the moving commotion was taking place. After they left, Cassandra, Steve and I drove to get his TB test cleared, but in her big old van because mine had been shutting off when idling, due to the new battery not being recognized by the computer's sensor, according to both the dealership that installed the battery yesterday and my mechanic. If it doesn't clear up by tomorrow, I'll need rides just about everywhere!! Praying, because God hears and answers!

I was glad to get my Bible study written on II Samuel 12 for the last meeting of our summer study, "A Woman's Walk in the Word," on Thursday, but feeling that, after Steve moves, and there are no more caregivers here, obviously, I may wish I'd kept going for a few more weeks. (Picture below). It will be one more sudden cut-off of friends and conversation--should have thought that one through a little more. On the other hand, I'll be able to up my business activity, which does mean more people to minister to, and to minister to me, just in a different context. God is so good, and when He guides, he provides--and that's not just about money!

Today, God gave me the opportunity to counsel and comfort a woman I met in the medical complex that Steve's been assigned to, Riverside Medical Clinic. She's our doctor's receptionist. Marian came out of the building as I was leaving from collecting signed docs from her boss, a California physician's statement in particular, that is required for Steve's placement.  She just poured out her heart, and the Lord gave me words of comfort for her. "Comfort one another with the comfort that you yourselves have been comforted with," is my paraphrase of 2 Corinthians 1:4.

Lately, when I've talked with friends about the decision God told me to make (which I stalled on for a couple of months) and the steps I'm taking to implement it, they've all asked, "Dana, how do you feel about it?" And I honestly answer, "It hasn't happened yet, but I'm not going to want to be alone the night after taking Steve to his new home and it will just be me there." That's the sad part, because the kids' lives aren't suddenly going to change so they can come over every day; I don't currently have a renter, and University of California Riverside's Homestay program doesn't have a student boarder for me just now. So it looks like I'll be spending at least some time at home, after the days' and evenings' activities with my business and Bible study Monday nights, alone.

Having been married for 31 years and having raised a large family, being alone except for writing papers and Bible studies, is foreign to me. But perhaps this is the season that I will be going through for  now. It's going to be lonely. But God has a plan--He always has a plan, whether for action, or for contemplation.

I'll trust God, and believe the Spirit-inspired words Cara my prayer partner prayed, 'That Dana's home would be a place of joy and that people would love to be there."

And let me rejoice in the alone times, believing Isaiah 30:15:

In quietness and confidence shall be your strength.

2 comments:

  1. Amazing heart-felt post, Dana.

    Hugs and prayers for you,

    Carol

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you, Carol, the Lord is good, ALL the TIME, I keep in mind. Also, I pray for you and DH!

    ReplyDelete