Thursday, April 19, 2012


2:16 p.m. Today's project was to enjoy a quiet, slower-paced morning in the garden with Steve. Because he had a doctor's appointment, there was no rush to board the bus, and we could take advantage of the cooler temperature to get some weeding and planting done.

Steve looked a bit strange when he came downstairs with the caregiver for his breakfast. He was blank, zombie like, and stood stiffly without expression when I kissed him good morning, unlike the cheery anticipation with  which he normally greets me.  Odd, because he had had a restful night and his usual 10 hours of sleep. So after a silent breakfast (which he had to be spoon fed) to get Steve energized, I had the caregiver take him outside to see Jada, and then walk with her, just in front of the house. Steve has been stepping off the curb or into the bushes during even the shortest of walks lately. Caregivers just walk Jada by themselves these days, for which I am sure our active lab is most grateful! I wonder if something inside my husband was seeking for a reason to get ready, a task to be completed, a goal to reach, such as boarding the bus...I don't know.

We headed out to the garden, where Steve did a good job of pulling up weeds, and only stepped on a plant or two, pretty good for not recognizing where he was or what needed to be done. But a surprising thing happened while I was creating cantaloupe mounds. While pulling up a weed, he toppled over from a squat! After a few moments where I tried to help him, he grabbed the post of the chain link fence and got up, with just a scratch on his tailbone. Thank you, Lord! It made me nostalgic, for just a moment, for the days only last year, when he took responsibility for tasks in the garden, so I could get inside work done. There are just too many critical issues now for me to dwell on the plesantnesses of the past!

Always, always Philippians 2:13:

...forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward to the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Leery of walking along with Steve from the parking lot to the elevator in the medical center, I loaded his walker into the back of the Jeep in case he might be willing to try it. When we arrived, I challenged him: "If you don't want to use the walker"...vigorous shake of the head..."you'll have to walk normally with me. No more of me pulling you along!" (Very painful for me, as you might imagine, pulling a much larger, almost sleepwalking person!) so he did walk better, only slowing down once or twice. Thank you, Lord!

Our purpose was to get a prescription and also to have Dr. Sirisuk check his right forearm that hurts every now and again, but isn't sore to the touch at all. The doctor said, "If it isn't swollen or bruised, it's nothing." Then he wrote a prescription for Lamisil oral version to end the big toe fungus that is the same as him mom once had. However, she was in her late seventies. It's as if he's a speeded-up version of his parents. But Steve still retains his youthful spark that comes out now and then, and reminds me of the man I fell in love with, and will love 'til death do us part!.

I'm just about ready to leave for our unit meeting, and glad to see Steve in good care from our cheerful afternoon caregiver. They are walking out now to get the mail, and he perked up just to get outside after a serving of applesauce and medications.

It's a slow-moving, quiet lifestyle, but it is fitting for now. How is it fitting? Because God ordained it, it's the life for us here in our temporary home on this earth!

Steve and I believe what is said in Hebrews 11:16 of the Old Testament saints who died in faith as wanderers on the earth:

But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country.Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them.

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