Friday, May 20, 2011
2:56 p.m. Today's project was to take care of two items of medical concern for Steve. After a warm, encouraging, exciting night at my Mary Kay meeting where I moved into a new level of business management, the dawning morning brought some cold fiscal realities.
I discovered late last night while filling our vitamin/medication dispensers that money I had scrimped and saved to attend our women's retreat would be decimated by Steve's running out of Aricept. The $29 co-pay would have to be met today, because he took his last pill this morning. I learned that Steve cannot miss a single day of this extremely powerful Alzheimer's medication because the last time we were unable to buy it, he had severe confusion and painful shakes and twitching in his hands by the fourth day off of it. Since his Social Security check doesn't arrive until the 27th, the retreat payment deadline of the 22nd will not be met--barring an outright miracle from the Lord!
I pondered I Samuel 14:6, where Jonathan says to his armor bearer while planning a daring two-man attack on the perennially powerful Philistines:
It may be that the LORD will work for us. For nothing restrains the LORD from working by many or by few.
At Bible study yesterday, I asked the ladies a rhetorical question: does God need our little pile of pennies to save us or solve a financial problem? And, if He does not solve it by our perceived deadline, does it mean He dislikes or disapproves of us, or is tied up elsewhere?
Of course not--God has a better plan that will bring glory to Him and actual resolution to us, not just a stop-gap! Isaiah 46:9b-10 gives us the reason why:
For I am God, and there is no
I am God, and there is none like
Declaring the end from the
And from ancient times things
that are not yet done,
Saying, "My counsel shall stand,
And I will do all My pleasure."
If God wants me to attend the retreat, it will be all His doing, and none of mine!
The next "subtraction" came from the high cost of faxing documents to my husband's Medicare provider. CareMore asked for the neurologist's letter requiring the C-pap machine for Steve, as well as the sleep study he went through to prove he has Sleep Apnea. So I made a stop at Dr. Rai's office and then to UPS where I paid $9.00 to send 6 pages! It's the same rate at Staples, too, I check these things out!
It didn't help either that some facial appointments I had booked for this week got rescheduled to next week--could have used the money now. But such is the life of a beauty consultant! And God already knew that, along with everything that ever has or ever will happen! It's time to trust and accept His will, one way or the other, for attending the retreat.
As I was filling out the fax cover sheet at the UPS in Canyon Crest, I heard a cheery "Dana!" and saw longtime Christian friends and past political supporters the Johnsons at the other side of the store! They offered genuine encouragement for me concerning Steve; were thrilled with my book being published, as I am with their daughter attending pharmacy school in Denver. Hopefully they had time to go over to say hi to Heather in State Sen. Emmerson's office on the other side of the Towne Centre. Their joyful greeting, well wishes and prayers gave me a peace that allowed me to make it to my next stop, Ralphs, to pick up a few much-needed grocery items I'd planned to do without!
Ran into a retired Jurupa colleague at Rite Aid and exchanged some good words with the young pharmacy tech about the eyeshadow sample I'd given her. She liked it, so I'll have to book a facial for her soon. Keep moving onward!
Upon returning home to Steve and his caregiver, I saw a package that could only be one thing--ten copies of Galatians from my publisher!! It really has been a day of good news, despite my disappointment in one area. If my books are here, then the Calvary Chapel Moreno Valley Bookstore got theirs today, too. Daniel from the Harvest Christian Fellowship Bookstore called me to say that their order is in; and my friend Rachel, who has invited me to give a devotional at her garden party June 12th, reiterated during her call to me this morning that she definitely wants me to bring books to sign and sell.
On the funny side, my dad wants four signed copies, but wants them at the wholesale price! I said, "Daddy, you're the one who keeps asking me if I'll be making any profit from my books!" And he answered, "Yes, but not off of me!!" I laughingly said, "OK, just pay me what you think is fair!" Some things never change, including Daddy's driving a hard bargain!
My son Kriss and I had a nice chat about the retreat when he called a few hours ago, and he said, "You've always gone, you've always contributed, but it just may not be your year to go to the retreat, if nothing is lining up to make it possible." My broken heart doesn't want to accept that, but I cannot know what God has planned for me June 3-5. But I know God, and I know He loves me!
And I thank Him for using many people to brighten my day on other fronts. Psalm 126:5-6 gives me this assurance:
Those who sow in tears
Shall reap in joy.
He who continually goes forth
Bearing seed for sowing,
Shall doubtless come again with
Bringing his sheaves with him.